Hurt and New Beginnings
by TheSongSmith
Summary: Jasper has a dark past. When tragedy strikes, who will be there for him? Is he too broken to be loved? Will he ever find someone willing to love him, or will his past drive them apart? DARK. Rated M for language, violence, and eventual adult themes.
1. Thoughts and Panic

**Ok guys, so I'm a little surprised with myself for writing this, mostly because I'm not a Twilight fan, but this story idea just seemed to work better with this pair. So this is me writing my first and probably last Twilight fic. This one is mostly about Jasper, who I feel is an under-developed character. This one comes from a bunch of influences, and it's dark. I'm warning you now. Rated M for language and possible eventual adult themes. Let me know what you think.**

**Just so you know, Jasper is a human. I promise this info is important.**

I'm walking down the street at three in the morning for no particular reason at all, besides the fact that I have no where else to go. At this hour, there's no one outside other than me, which is exactly the way I like it. I hate crowds. There's always gonna be someone who decides to _touch_ me. After…_him_… I get nervous when people touch me. Which is another reason I prefer to walk the isolated streets at night.

I keep walking, not knowing where I'm headed. How ironic. That's the same way I stumble through life. Ha. Ha. Ha.

I'm lost in my own thoughts by now, and, as they often do, my thoughts drift to the place this all started. The reason I'm all alone. The reason I can't get close to people. It all started with one man.

His name was Gabriel.

Like the angel.

And the irony keeps coming.

He was my first boyfriend ever, and he found me right after I accepted the fact that I'm gay. I suppose that's part of the reason I fell so hard for him. At first he was sweet and caring and romantic. I honestly thought he loved me the same way I loved him: I was totally and completely in love with him. It wasn't until much later that I learned he was in love with my fear of him.

I was only 18, and shy when we met. He was 23. I had gone to a gay bar, just to see what it was about, when he came up to me and offered me a drink. In his bright blue eyes I saw only love.

I fell for him right then, hook, line, and sinker. Now, I've just escaped from what my life became with him. I never thought I'd ever have the courage to leave, and I'm terrified of what will happen when we comes out of his drunken stupor and realizes that I'm gone. Will he come after me? Probably. In fact, since I left yesterday morning, he's probably already searching for me.

I'm startled out of my thoughts by a few bangs louder than anything I've ever heard before, followed by a searing pain in my side. A car shoots past me on the street. I look down to see three bullet holes in my side.

_Fuck!_ Is the first thought that pops into my head. What do I do?

I fall to my knees, leveled by the pain. My mind is racing, trying to figure out what the options are. I look down and see my white shirt is soaked with the blood that's pouring out of my side. I put my hand over the wounds, trying to stop the blood flow, but it's not helping at all.

I look up and down the street, looking for someone, anyone, to help me. But, of course, because of the time, there's no one around. Suddenly, I realize that I'm maybe 300 feet from the parking lot of the nearest hospital. If I can get there, I might stand a chance, but it's a long shot.

I struggle to my feet, trying to ignore the pain in my side and the spinning in my head, stumbling towards the parking lot. It takes all my strength not to cry out in pain.

I make it through the parking lot before I collapse 6 feet from the entrance. I'm just about writhing in pain now, covered in my own blood. So close. But there's no way I can get up again.

Suddenly, I register a man in a white coat walking out of the entrance. "Are you a doctor?" I choke out, cursing my voice. It comes out as a mix of a choked sob and a cry of pain.

He starts mumbling something about checking in for treatment, but when he sees me his eyes widen in shock. He rushes over and kneels in front of me.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

I lift up my hand and show him the blood still pouring out of my side. I think I hear him whisper "Oh my God" under his breath before he focuses again. "Come on," he says gently, "we have to get you up."

Slowly, he helps me off the ground, supporting all of my weight as we make it over to the curb. He gently sets me down, sitting next to me as he yells over his shoulder for a stretcher.

"What's your name?" he asks.

"Jasper" I manage to choke out.

"Okay, Jasper," he says, "My name is Doctor Cullen. But you can call me Edward. We're going to help you."

It's at this point that I lose it. The floodgates open and sobs start racking my body. It isn't until now that I realize his arm has been around me, supporting my weight the whole time, and, more importantly, that I don't care. His touch is reassuring and gentle at the same time, and I find myself leaning into him for support.

"I don't want to die…" I say quietly. I don't realize that he's heard me until I feel his grip on me tighten. "Hey," he says, "Look at me!" his fingers find purchase underneath my chin as he raises my eyes to his. "I'm not going to let you die!" he says fiercely.

And, because I have nothing left to do, I believe him.

The stretcher has arrived, and along with it a flood of people. My anxiety reaches a new level, and Edward must sense it, because he whispers in my ear, "We're not going to hurt you. I know it's hard, but if you don't calm down you're going to bleed faster. Try taking deep breaths. Can you do that for me?"

At that, I nod. I'll at least try. Sometime during my deliberation they moved me onto the stretcher. I panic for a moment, trying to find Edward's face in the crowd. When I do, I grab his hand in a vice grip.

"Don't leave me." I whisper.

He smiles down at me. "Never."

I haven't trusted anyone since Gabriel. But when you're probably going to bleed to death anyway, it can't really hurt, can it? So I take the leap, because, though I can't place it, there's something different about Edward.

**Okay, so, what did you think? I never really liked the character of Edward as he is normally portrayed, so I'm going to change him a bit. Please review and let me know what you think!**


	2. Fear and Trust

**Okay guys, so here's the next chapter. It's a little short, but I wanted to get it out to you guys so I can see what you think.**

**I did get a couple reviews/messages saying "Isn't it weird for a non-Twilight fan to write a Twilight fanfic?" Why yes, it is weird. But this story has been in my head for a while, and I took a couple character pairs from a bunch of fandoms, and this is the one I chose because it worked better. And now I have something to work with and all you twi-hards have some new stuff to read.  
So there :)**

**This chapter is slightly more dramatic, and you'll have some new questions, and maybe some new answers too.**

**Without further ado, here's my new chapter!**

We rush through the halls so fast everything is a blur. Or maybe that's just the lack of blood. Either way, it's nauseating. The only thing I can focus on is Edward's face, and even that swims in and out of focus.

We end up in a room so white that, if it weren't for the pain I might have thought I died. There are more people I don't know, and they all seem to have a hand on me. I start struggling in earnest now, trying to get them off of me, but it doesn't help.

Edward is now on the side of the bed where my head is, and he's got my shoulders pinned, effectively stopping me from moving.

"Jasper, listen to me." he says calmly. "These people are not going to hurt you! The sooner you let them do their job, the sooner they'll go away. If you keep fighting them you're only gonna hurt yourself, and they'll have to restrain you or sedate you. I don't want that to happen, so I need you to listen to me and do what I say, okay?"

I stop struggling, give him a short nod, and try taking a few deep breaths. He's running his fingers through my hair so rhythmically, I wonder if he even knows he's doing it, but it's helping a little.

I feel a sudden, sharp pain in the back of my hand. I look down to see a tube sticking out of it, which makes me start to struggle again. Edward follows my gaze, but before I can get too worked up he whispers in my ear, "It's just an IV. It's there so that we can give you medicine quickly without having to stab you with a bunch of needles."

I take another deep breath and stop struggling against his grip on my shoulders, which he loosens immediately, taking my behavior as a sign of understanding.

I hear a female voice. "Jasper," she says, "I'm a nurse, and we're going to have to remove your shirt to take a closer look at your wounds. Is that okay with you?" I nod again, and I feel my shirt split down the middle. Somebody's cutting it off. I guess that's the easiest way.

When Edward sees the bruises and scars on my chest, he winces like it hurts him to see it, and his eyes widen. I'm afraid he'll say something, but all he does is run a finger gently over the scar on my shoulder before resuming petting my hair.

I hear someone say "Call OR one, tell them we're coming in." and I can't stop the panic that rises in my chest. I look up at Edward as a small whimper escapes my lips.

"Jasper," he tells me, "You're doing great. I wouldn't allow it if it weren't necessary, but we have to give you anesthesia before removing the bullets. If we don't put you under, it will hurt a lot more. I know it's scary, but it's the least painful way to help you."

I don't know how anything could hurt as much as it did now, and I'm about to tell him this, when, sensing my anxiety, he continues.

"Jasper, all they're gonna do is remove the bullets and patch you up. That's it. There's nothing to be scared of."

I don't tell him the real reason I'm afraid: It's the 'being unconscious' part.

It reminds me of those times I was with Gabriel. Those times I would get beaten so bad everything would go black.

Those times I would wake up naked on the bed when the last thing I remembered was being in the kitchen or the living room.

I would sit on the bed and shiver, trying to remember how I got from there to here.

I never could.

When I find my voice again, I only tell him half of the reason. "I don't like not knowing what's happening to me."

"Jasper," he assures me, "I'll be there the whole time. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

"Well," I say, searching for another excuse, "Is it safe? Will I definitely wake up?"

He shakes his head, exasperated. "Jasper, the people who don't wake up are people who are under for 8 hours or something. We'll only be giving you the medicine for an hour or two. If we don't, you'd be in so much pain you'd black out anyway. Please, let us help you. I promise, I won't leave you, but we have to do this."

Well I can't say no to that, so I nod my consent, and suddenly we're flying through the halls again. We go up an elevator and stop in a room whiter than the one before it. Silver instruments gleam under the bright lights, causing my anxiety to return. It's not until I hear a faint "Ow" that I realize my grip on Edward's hand is so tight I'm hurting him.

I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. It's not working. But what does work is Edward's proximity to me. He's running his hand through my hair again. It feels strange to enjoy someone touching me. It's been so long, and I don't understand it. If the other doctors touch me I still want to pull away. So why am I okay with him?

I don't have too much time to contemplate this because soon Edward is speaking in my ear again. "Okay Jasper, we're going to start giving you the anesthesia now. You're going to start to feel kind of heavy and sleepy. Don't fight it, just go to sleep. I promise I'll be right here when you wake up. Now, can you count backwards from ten for me?"

I nod as my body starts to feel heavier than usual.

"Ten..."

I give Edward's hand one final squeeze and he smiles down at me.

"Nine…"

I start to feel sleepy.

"Eight…"

I close my eyes as parts of my body go numb. I think Edward leans down and kisses my forehead, but I can't be sure I didn't imagine it.

"Seven…"

Edward is whispering in my ear again. "Don't worry Jasper; I'll take care of you. I'll be right here when you wake up."

"Si…"

I can't finish the word as the darkness seals my eyes shut and his words ring in my head.

I'll take care of you…

I'll take care of you…

I'll take care of you…

And, with that, I slip into a dreamless sleep.

**Okay, you all probably hate me for being cliffy, sorry! But this seemed like a good place to end this chapter. Anyone surprised with the new info on Gabriel? More drama to come! I really like the vulnerable Jasper, so plan on seeing more of him.**

**WARNING: This story might turn into slash. Don't like, don't read.**

**I think I'm gonna maybe introduce some other characters, but I'm not sure yet.**

**As always, REVIEW! It makes me update faster :)**

**Questions, comments, and suggestions are always welcome!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	3. Questions

**Okay guys, sorry about the terribly long wait, I've been ridiculously busy :( But the next chapter is here! Thanks for all your feedback. Keep reviewing and I'll keep updating! Without further ado, here's chapter three! WEEEEEE!**

**EPOV**

I stayed rooted to the spot after Jasper fell asleep. I could've left, but then again I couldn't. I promised him that I would stay here to make sure nothing happened to him.

_"He won't know."_ I tried to rationalize with myself.

"_But he trusts you." _Another part of me says.

I don't know why. He pulls away from everyone else; he panics when they touch him. So why does he calm down when I touch him?

It seemed I was the first person he'd trusted in a long time. So, even though he wouldn't know whether or not I stayed with him now, I found myself unable to leave.

The surgery was routine; there were no complications. I couldn't tear my eyes away from the scars and bruises on his chest.

Now, as I sit in a room waiting for him to wake up, I can't help but wonder what could have caused them. There's really only one conclusion I can come to, and just as I'm considering it, Jasper starts to stir.

"Jasper?" I say gently. "Jasper, can you hear me?" He answers with a groan and a nod. "Jasper, it's me, Edward. Everything went great. Just rest until the medication wears off. I promise I won't leave you. I'll be right here when you wake up."

The hand that I'm holding gives a gentle squeeze, and his face smoothes as he stops fighting against the sleepy haze. My thumb moves comfortingly across the back of his hand of its own accord as I wait patiently for this blue-eyed mystery to wake up.

**JPOV**

Waking up is strange. I feel heavy, like something is pulling me down. I can't even summon the strength to open my eyes. I tried fighting this weight, whatever it was, but it wouldn't budge. I was relieved to hear Edward's voice. It's the first time in years that someone has lived up to their word, and it means more than he could ever know. Edward tells me to rest; he tells me that he won't leave, and for the first time in a long time, I can say that I completely believe him.

Though I still don't understand why, something about him makes me hopeful for a future unlike the dark world I used to know. As I let sleep overcome me, I smile. Apparently Gabriel hasn't taken everything from me. For the first time in what feels like forever, I feel hope. It isn't much, but at least that is still mine.

When I wake up again, a beeping sound fills the room, coming from somewhere above my head. I try to twitch a finger, a toe, anything, but I can't seem to remember how. I still hear Edward. He's rubbing his thumb across my hand and mumbling comforting words, though I'm not completely sure he's talking to me. Summoning all my strength I open my eyes.

I find his concerned green eyes staring at me, but I'm sure he's not seeing me. It takes a lot of effort, but I manage to squeeze his hand gently. He jumps in surprise, but when he sees me he smiles. "Hey, how're you feeling?"

It takes me a minute to find my voice. "Okay," I reply, "A little weak."

"Well, you've been through a lot in the past couple of hours, and you lost a lot of blood, so that's to be expected."

I nod, deciding which of my questions to ask first. "So, what happened?"

Edward pauses for a moment before answering. "The surgery went great; we stopped the bleeding pretty quickly. You're going to be fine."

Relief washes through me, and I ask my next question. "How long will I be here?"

"Well," he replies, "we have to watch out for any infections, but if there are no complications you can go home when the wounds are healed. It shouldn't be long."

Edward stares at me for a moment with hesitation in his eyes. Then he says the words I've been dreading:

"Jasper?" He pauses. "Can I ask you a question?"

**Okay, you all probably hate me, sorry for the cliff. Please keep reviewing. Let me know what you like what you hate, what you want to see. Comments, criticism, and suggestions are all welcome. I'm working on the next chapter as we speak, so it should be up soon. Thanks for reading!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	4. Answers and Loose Ends

**Hey guys! The next chapter is up! Not as long as usual, but it's good. The small introductions of Emmet, Carlisle, and Alice! Review and let me know if you want to see more of them or not! I hope to have the next chapter up soon! Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed and made me feel good about myself :)**

**EPOV**

"Um, Jasper? Can I ask you a question?" I ask hesitantly.

He nods.

"What happened to you? I mean, I know I'm kind of a stranger, but I can't imagine why anyone would want to hurt you like that."

Jasper looks down at his lap. "Well, there are some people out there who are just like that. I left one of those people a few days ago."

**JPOV**

I couldn't stop myself from telling Edward the truth. He looks sad for a moment, but suddenly he jumps up and hugs me. "I'm sorry." He whispers in my ear. I'm not sure what it is he's sorry for, but I'm too distracted by the fact that I don't want to pull away. When he does pull back, I find myself a bit disappointed.

"So," he says awkwardly, "do you…have any place to go?"

I think about lying. Pity was never something I knew how to handle. But I just can't, so instead I shake my head.

"Well then, uh…" he starts before clearing his throat and trying again, "I'd like you to come stay with me for a while. If you want, I mean. You could get out of here faster, and…" he trails off, mumbling something that sounds like "I'd know you're safe."

"I couldn't ask you to do that for me Edward. You've been so kind already."

But he shakes his head. "It's nothing, really. I have this big house, and I'm the only one there. I was planning to take a few weeks off soon anyway, I've got more vacation days than I know what to do with, and I'd like some company."

I have to smile at his nervousness, but he's right. Where else am I going to go? I can't stay on the run forever. And by spending time with him, I could figure out why he's different. "Alright then. If you're sure I'm not intruding, then I'd love to." I reply.

Edward looks like a happy puppy dog. "Alright then." He repeats.

**EPOV**

Jasper falls asleep faster than I thought was possible. I sit here for a moment, just watching him, before I jump into action. The first thing I have to do is make some calls.

I call Carlisle first. The phone rings three times before he picks up. "Hey Carlisle, can I ask you for a huge favor?" I hear the concern in his voice when he says, "Sure son, what's up? Are you alright?" I tell him I'm fine, and that I have a patient staying with me for a while due to "dangerous circumstances".

"Can you take Emmett and go to this apartment for me? Just take everything and dump it at my house."

"Sure son," he replies, "but are you sure everything's okay?"

"Yeah dad, I just can't tell you all of it. It's not my story to tell. I'll call Emmett and tell him to meet you at your house at noon." I give him the address of Jasper's apartment and say goodbye.

Well, I've got the brains, now it's time to call in the muscle. "Hey Emmett? I need your help. Meet dad at his house at noon. He'll explain."

"Okay man," he says, "is everything alright?" I tell him that I'll fill him in later.

My next call is to my sister Alice. "Hey pixie, I need a favor. You know the spare bedroom in my house? I need some decorating help." I can almost feel Alice raising her eyebrows through the phone.

"Edward, who's this guy you have staying with you?"

My sister. She knows everything. "Why do you assume it's a guy?"

"Please," she says, "I know you Edward. And I'd be happy to help. Decorating is like crack to me! So what's he like?" she squeals.

"Well…He's kind of sensitive and gentle, but rugged at the same time. Emmett and Dad are bringing his stuff over later, maybe that can give you some ideas. And I'll let you know if I find out anything else."

"Sounds like a plan. I'm so excited!" But I have to add one more thing. "Alice? He's been through a lot. Please make sure it's comfortable."

"Absolutely Edward. I want to know more details soon!" after we say goodbye, I sit back down thinking about what else I need to do. I'm lost in thought when Jasper starts to stir.

When he opens his eyes, he smiles, but I can see the pain in his eyes. "Hey," I say, "Is it hurting?" He pauses for a moment, then nods.

"I can fix that," I say as I reach for the syringe of pain medication on the counter behind me.

When he sees it, he starts to backpedal. "Actually, you know Edward, I'm feeling okay, I don't think…"

But I cut him off. "Jasper, It's not what you think. You won't feel it, I promise. Trust me." He contemplates this, and though he's still radiating nervousness, he gives a short nod. I reach for his right hand, the one with the IV in it, which seems to surprise him. There are two ports in his IV, one of which is connected to the medicine hanging above his head. The other is empty. I stick the needle through the top of the empty tube and slowly feed the medication in. I can tell immediately when the medicine starts to kick in, mostly because the nervous and pained expression on his face changes to a surprised one.

"W-wow," he stutters, "that was…fast." He smiles, and now his face shows gratitude; for keeping my promise that I wouldn't hurt him, for not letting him down when he trusted me. He thinks carefully before he starts speaking again. "I wanted to thank you…for keeping your promise. For everything." I can't help but smile. "Thank you for trusting me. It means a lot." I reply, and this time he smiles. It feels like a million suns bursting in my heart.

"So," I say, "All your stuff is at my house, and since we're going to be staying with each other for a while, I was thinking maybe we could get to know each other better." He nods in agreement, then smiles again. "We could play twenty questions."

"Okay, I reply, I'll start. What's your favorite color?"

He thinks for a moment. "Mostly I like denim blue, but I like lighter shades of blue, like sky blue. And indigo, so I guess that's purple-blue."

"Okay, my turn," he says. "What's your favorite hobby?"

"Hmm…well, I know it's boring, but I like reading a lot. I think I just like that books can take me to a whole other world. I'm gonna ask you the same question."

Now he blushes, and it's quite possibly the cutest thing I've ever seen. "Well, actually, I like animals, more specifically horses. It was always a way for me to forget everything and just get away." I smile, thinking I'll have to report all this to Alice.

"Do you like to ride?"

He blushes again. "Yeah, I've never done it professionally or anything, but it feels…amazing! It's just like this…connection. Horses don't judge, they just listen."

Jasper's got the gentlest soul I've ever seen. It breaks my heart to know someone would hurt this kind man. But I can make sure that never happens again.

We keep playing until we're way past twenty. I tell him about my family, my life. He tells me about his past. Pretty soon it's dinnertime, and while Jasper is eating I go around the hospital tying up lose ends before I leave. I tell my supervisor that I'm taking off for a while, and she actually looks relieved. I tell her that Jasper is coming home with me, and she agrees to let him go home tomorrow afternoon as long as I take care of his medical needs while he's there.

I call Alice outside his room. "Hey Ali, I've got more details for you." I tell her all the things Jasper told me. "And you'll never believe this: he likes animals and horseback riding."

"Wow," she says, "That's kind of perfect considering you live on a _ranch_."

"I know," I reply, "I think I'm going to surprise him with the horses when he gets there. He's being released tomorrow; do you think you can finish the room in time?"

"Don't worry Ed," she says, "I'm almost done. All the things you told me fit exactly into the direction I was already going. By the way, I put most of his stuff away, and he's got a limited wardrobe. Do you mind if I buy him a few things?"

"Go ahead Ali, jut don't go overboard. I don't want to overwhelm him."

"I understand Ed, I promise. I'm so excited! Will I get to meet him soon?"

I don't know Ali, we'll see. Maybe. Thanks again for everything, I owe you one."

After we say our goodbyes, I go back to Jasper. "I've got good news," I say, and his expression turns curious. "We're going home tomorrow afternoon. Everything is set up, and there are a couple surprises in store for you. I'm going to provide your medical care, so you won't have to come back here."

His face changes for a moment, and he asks a question I wasn't expecting. "What are we going to do…you know…about my past?" This is something I've considered. "Well," I tell him, "I think you should maybe talk to someone about it." He looks at me warily. "Like a shrink? I don't know if I could tell a stranger…"

"What if it wasn't a complete stranger? My dad is a psychologist. If I asked him to, he would help you. I always recommend him, not just because he's my father, but because he doesn't push people. He just listens."

He considers this for a moment, and then he nods. "I think it would be good to talk to someone. Would you be there?"

"Only if you want me to be. If you don't I won't be there. You have to understand, it's whatever you want. You just let me know."

He nods gratefully, and he looks relieved. We talk into the night, and then I convince him to get some sleep. "You'll need it," I tell him, "There's a lot of surprises for you tomorrow."

**So? Questions? Comments? Suggestions? let me know in a review. Also let me know if you want to see more of the Cullens or other characters. Carlisle is going to be in it more, because now he's Jasper's psychologist (yay!).**

**Tell me who you want to see and what you want to happen! **

**Remember, if you press that button and make me happy you can read the next chapter sooner ;)**

**Thanks again for reading!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	5. Restraint and Surprises

**Okay okay, I know I'm awful! I'm sorry this took so long; I had some serious writer's block. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do with this chapter, so it's kinda short, but BIG THINGS ARE COMING! You'll see what I mean when you get to the end. Anyway, here it is!**

**EPOV**

As I sit up, the first thing I register is that my neck hurts. I open my eyes to find that I fell asleep leaning on Jasper's bed. I check my watch; it's 11 AM. Jasper is fast asleep, and his face looks more peaceful than I've seen before. I watch him for a moment, running a finger lightly across his cheek, before I remember that today's the day he gets to come home. I've got so much to do!

First I call my sister. "Hey Ali, we're coming home in a few hours, is everything ready?" I want this to be perfect.

"Everything is done Edward." She says. "You worry too much. His stuff that dad and Emmett brought is all put away, and the room is decorated perfectly! I'm so excited for you to see it. Can you call me later and let me know how it goes?"

"Sure Ali, thanks again for everything. I'll be sure to call you later."

Next I go through my game plan. I think I'll leave the IV in for a few days, just in case. I'll take him on a tour of the house, leaving his room for last. Then I'll show him all the animals on the ranch, ending with the horses to surprise him.

I don't know why this is so important to me. I try to tell myself that he's just another patient, but I can't even fool myself. There's just a part of me that wants to make him happy, that wants to show him what love is like. A part of me that wants to make up for all the things this angel has been through.

I curse myself mentally. _You don't know that he likes you, _my brain tells me, _and after everything he's been through you can't push him. If it's meant to be it will be. You can't do anything like that until he works through his past. Let him come to you._ But I still can't get him out of my head.

I shake my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts as I walk back into the room. Jasper is still asleep on the bed. I start removing wires and sensors from him as gently as possible. Soon, he stirs and opens his eyes.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"I'm just getting you ready to go. I'm almost done." I reply.

He nods as a nurse pushes a breakfast tray through the door. Jasper lifts the cover, looks at the food, and pushes it away from him. I laugh. "Not a fan of the food?" He shakes his head. "Me either. We'll eat something at home." This gets a small smile out of him, and I find myself thinking that he should smile more before the thought is quickly put to the back of my head.

All of the paperwork is filled out already due to my eagerness this morning. I finish removing everything except the IV and step out of the room for a moment while he gets dressed in some clothes Ali brought for him this morning.

When I come back he is perched on the edge of the bed. He smiles at me. "I'm really excited to be getting out of here. Thank you again for letting me stay with you." He blushes.

"I'm glad you accepted my invitation." I say. "There's one last thing we have to do before we go. I have to clean your wounds and put on a fresh bandage. Is that okay with you?"

He nods cautiously. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle. I need you to lean back against the bed for a moment." He does as I instruct. I lift his T-shirt up a little bit to reveal the white bandage. I carefully peel it away. His wounds are healing nicely. Thinking about my next move, I hesitate. The medicines we use to clean wounds like this can sting, and I don't want him to think that I'm just another person who wants to hurt him.

"Jasper," I start hesitantly, "the medicine we use to clean wounds stings a bit. I don't want you to think that I'm hurting you on purpose, or to be mean. You have to understand that I'm doing this to help you. I just don't want to betray your trust in me."

I feel a light touch on my arm. "I understand Edward. I know you would never hurt me like he did. I trust you."

This sentence lifts the weight off of my shoulders. "Thank you, Jasper. Okay, when I tell you to, I need you to count backwards from ten. I promise by the time you reach one I'll be done." I soak a piece of gauze in peroxide and tell him to start.

"Ten…" I pat gently over his wounds. He winces, but doesn't pull away.

"Nine…" I take the piece of paper on the counter and fan it over the area, taking the sting away.

"Eight…Seven…" His face relaxes as I take a clean bandage and place it gently over his wounds.

"Six…Five…Four…" I carefully tape it into place and pull his shirt back down into place.

"Three…Two…" He takes a deep breath and opens his eyes.

"One."

"So how was it?" I ask.

"Not bad. Thank you for telling me first."

"No problem. Ready to go?" he nods as I grab the wheelchair that had been leaning against the wall. He looks at me warily, and I laugh. "It's hospital policy, you have to ride it to the car." I carefully help him off the bed and into the chair.

He is quiet through most of the ride through the hospital. I guess attention is not something he likes, and I file this information away for later use. I have the valet bring my car around. Jasper winces as he gets into the car, but he gets in with only a little help from me, which is a good sign.

As we pull away from the parking lot, it occurs to me that Jasper hasn't said a word since we left the room. "Hey, you okay?" I ask.

He nods. "Just a little nervous I guess." Again my heart bleeds for this poor man, and I can't stop myself from reaching across the car and squeezing his hand.

"Don't be." I say quietly, "He can't hurt you anymore. You're safe with me."

He smiles gratefully and squeezes my hand back. He doesn't let go, and we ride the rest of the way holding hands.

When we pull up to the driveway, His eyes widen a little. This is exactly the reaction I was hoping for, and I smile to myself as I walk around to the passenger side and open the door. "I have a lot of surprises for you." He nods absent mindedly as his eyes take in the huge house in front of him.

"Okay, now it's time for the grand tour of the house." I say as I open the door. I put my arm around him to steady him as he walks through the threshold. I take him through the kitchen, living room, and various other rooms. I show him the indoor pool and my room. I leave his room for last.

"Okay, here's the first surprise. This is your room." I open the door and we both look around. Ali did an amazing job. Jasper smiles wider than I've ever seen before. "Do you like it?" I ask.

"I love it. Thank you." He replies. Now I'm glad I did this one little thing; glad that I made him happy.

"All your stuff is put away in here, but first I want to show you the grounds." He nods, curiosity playing across his face as I help him back to the front door.

I set Jasper down on a bench on the front porch and tell him to wait there. I go bring the golf cart over to the front of the house. He might feel confident walking, but it's a long way, and I don't want him to hurt himself.

I help him get in and then we take off. I show him the cows and sheep and introduce him to my dogs. I purposely saved the best surprise for last.

As we pull up to the barn, I see curiosity play across his face. "This is the last surprise." I say as I open the doors.

**So? Any guesses? Questions, comments and suggestions are all welcome. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review! This story is for you, and I can't write your story if you don't tell me your opinion. Reviews also make me write faster, so press that little button and make me happy!**

**That's all for now! Thanks for reading!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	6. Horses and Healing

**Hey Guys! I know how completely awful I am for not updating in forever! But hey, this chapter is fun. So I'm not going to keep blabbing, read!**

I hear a gasp as I open the barn doors, and then go to Jasper to help him get up. "Edward…" he mumbles, at a loss for words. I follow his gaze through the doors as he takes in the view. There are eight horses in the barn of various colors and breeds.

"Edward, you never told me about this." He says.

"I know," I smile, "but I wanted to surprise you."

He laughs lightly, even though I can tell it pains him to do so. "Well, I think I'm thoroughly surprised." He says quietly.

Jasper starts to move forward, transfixed; I move with him, supporting his weight. He goes up to the first stall, where a Cherry Bay mare rests. "This is Ruby." I tell him. He nods absentmindedly, already eagerly moving on to the next stall, where a Chestnut-colored quarter horse named Damian raises his head to look at us as we pass. We meet the twin brothers, Angel and Smoothie, who are both pure white with deep blue eyes.

Then we make it to my favorite stallion. He is a beautiful, jet-black Arabian horse named Kedar, which is Arabic for "strong".

"This is Kedar." I tell Jasper, "He's kind of my favorite. I ride him more than I do any other horse."

"Why?" he asks me.

"Well…I don't know really. He's so beautiful, and all of his movements are smooth and elegant. Plus, he's really gentle and obedient. It's kind of like we share a connection, you know?"

He smiles widely, and I know that he understands that feeling.

We move on to the other mares. Besides Ruby, there is also a brown and white Pinto named Tala, as well as an Appaloosa named Raja, which means "hope".

There is one more horse in the barn, and this is the one I have been waiting to show Jasper. This is a small Palomino mare with a golden coat and a cream colored mane and tail.

"This is Shoshana. She's the newest resident." Jasper stares, mesmerized, at the shy horse. "She kind of reminds me of you." I tell him. This gets his attention, and he turns towards me.

"What do you mean?" he asks.

"Well," I say, "Let me tell you about her." He nods, still looking at the small mare.

"I found her behind a fence in the backyard of a house. The owners had moved out about a week before and left her there. I think maybe it was for the better, there was a lot of evidence of abuse. She had a broken leg and some bruises, and she was seriously malnourished and dehydrated."

I watch as the understanding plays across his face. He remains silent, so I continue.

"I couldn't just leave her there, so I went home, brought my trailer back, and used food to get her in. She was so afraid. Anyway, once I got her here, I called the vet to check her out. She's all healed now, but she's still kind of afraid of people."

As if to emphasize my point, Shoshana looks up cautiously as she takes a small step toward us.

**JPOV**

Hearing Shoshana's story, I could definitely see the similarities between us. We were both hurt badly. We both have issues with other people.

And we were both rescued by an angel.

"So," I tease Edward, "you make a habit of bringing home strays?"

He laughs. "Yeah, I guess I do."

Shoshana takes a cautious step forward, and can't stop myself from doing what I wish people had done to me: I slowly reached my hand out to her. She regards it carefully, but she inches forward to nudge my palm. The warmth that surges through me is both unexpected and wonderful. I finally understand why Edward was so happy when I trusted him.

I turn to Edward with a smile. "I think she likes me." I say. He smiles in return.

"I was thinking maybe you two could heal together. I think you could help each other." This throws me off guard. "How can I help her?" I ask. "Just look at her," he replies, "You've already gained her trust. I think that if she spent more time around people, she'll be more comfortable, and she wouldn't be afraid of us hurting her. Now, I don't want you riding yet because you're still healing, but you can spend time with her and all of the others here if you want."

"Seriously?" I ask, "You'd let me do that?"

"Of course I would. I think you'd be good for each other."

"I think so too." I murmur, marveling at the small horse as she steps closer.

My stomach growls loudly, and I hope that Edward doesn't notice. As hungry as I am, I don't want to leave Shoshana.

"Come on," he says, "Let's get breakfast. You can come back later, I promise." Reluctantly, I turn and lean on him for support as we make it back to the golf cart. I know that I'm definitely ready for breakfast when my stomach growls again. Back at the house, I sit down on a chair at the kitchen table and marvel at my luck.

**Okay, so what do you think? I want to hear opinions! Also, I'm offering myself as a beta, so if you ever need one I'm here. Review and make me happy!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	7. Update

Hello everyone. I'm not sure if any of you still follow my stories, and I know it's been forever, but you deserve an explanation of my long absence. I've had quite a bit of family drama and other issues in my life that I've been getting over for the past year. I know both of my published stories were left unfinished for around a year, and I am so sorry for my leave. It was important to me to take a break in order to get my life in order. With that said, I am hoping to start writing again. I know I've left you down with my crazy absence, but if anyone still cares about the ending of this, please PM me and let me know. I'm considering finishing this once and for all, and after rereading I think I may have some idea of where to take it. I hope some of you will be willing to give me another chance at finishing this. I'm almost 2 years older and wiser now, and I hope some of you are still willing to read what I write. Thanks for caring about me 3

~TheSongSmith


	8. Day One

**Hey guys! Well, I posted that update today and got an overwhelming response, so I've decided to continue! This chapter is really really short, but it's my new start and I hope you enjoy it!**

**EPOV**

"So, what do you want for breakfast?" I ask Jasper. He seems taken aback for a moment, and I guess that no one has asked him to make a decision in quite some time.

"Um…I don't know. An omelet?" He asks. I nod and get to work. When I turn to ask him if he wants bacon, Jasper is leaning on the counter staring at me intently. "What?" I ask, and he snaps out of it.

"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking…about how lucky I am that you found me." He mumbles sheepishly. I can't help but smile. Seriously, can he be any more adorable?

"Well," I reply, "I'd say I'm pretty lucky too." He smiles again as I slide the omelets and bacon onto plates and put them on the counter. I can tell that he's hungry, but he waits for me to sit down before he eats.

When we finish I clean up everything and then turn back to Jasper. "Alright, what would you like to do today?" I ask. He pretends to think for a minute before asking if we can go back to the barn.

"Sure, why not? It'll be fun." I reply. We get into the golf cart and head off towards the barn. I can tell he's thinking hard, and although I want to know what he's thinking about, I decide against asking. We walk into the barn, and Jasper goes straight for Shoshana like I hoped he would. He extends a hand to her and, when she steps up to meet it, strokes her head absentmindedly.

"So," he starts softly, "When…when is my first appointment with your dad?" He's trying so hard not to let his nerves show, but he's adorably horrible at it.

_Stop it Edward. Stop thinking those things._ I reprimand myself. I can't do that to him. Not now.

It takes a minute before I realize that he's still waiting for an answer. "I thought I would leave it up to you. Carlisle can come over whenever you want. Any idea when you want to start?"

He thinks for a minute. "Maybe in two days?" he asks.

I nod. "Alright, I'll call him tonight." He turns to me, and I can see the uneasiness in his eyes. "What's wrong, Jasper?" I ask.

He blushes. "I'm just a little nervous." He says quietly. "I've never...done this before. Told anyone about my life."

This, at least, I understand perfectly. "It'll be okay Jasper, I promise. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. Besides, I think you'll like Carlisle. He's a good guy."

I can tell that he's still afraid, but he's trying so earnestly that I can't bring myself to press him about it, so I change the subject. "It's almost lunchtime. If you want you can stay here. I'll go back to the house and bring lunch out."

He smiles. "That sounds great. Thanks." Oh, that smile. How much I want to see it again. But that's not important.

I take the golf cart back to the house, make sandwiches, and then make a call. When Carlisle picks up, he sounds like he's been waiting for me. "Hi Ed," he says, "How's the patient?" That's one thing I've always liked about Carlisle; he honestly cares about people. "He's doing alright. I was wondering if you could come over Thursday to talk with him for a while. I don't know if he'll tell you anything, but it's worth a try." I hear Alice's voice in the background for a moment before he answers. "Sure Ed, I'll be there around 3 o'clock. Alice wants to know when she can meet him. She's really excited." I smile; that's so like her. "Not yet Carlisle. You know how she can be. I don't want to scare him off just yet." I hear Alice's protests in the background, but Carlisle shushes her. We say goodbye and I drive back out to the barn with the food.

When I get there, I hear Jasper's voice. He's carrying a conversation with Shoshana, and it's probably the most I've ever heard him say at once. I pause outside the door.

"I know he's trying to help, and I want to trust him, but...some part of me is still afraid. What do you think?" A snort from the horse. "I know," he says, as if he understands her, "But that's not even the worst part. I think I might be...in love with him. I don't know what to do. I'm sure he doesn't like me like that, but even if he did, I'm not sure I can ever be that close to someone again. Not after what happened. What do you think I should do?" Another snort from the horse. "Maybe you're right," he replies, "I should give it a chance."

I take this opportunity to enter. He starts at first, but relaxes when he sees me. That has to be a good sign, right? "Sorry," I say lamely, "I...I brought food." He thanks me and smiles. I could get used to this.

I think again how much I'd do to see that smile. Oh, who am I kidding. Alright, fine, I love him. But he couldn't love me. Not after everything. But…I can still look, right?

**Well there you have it, my new start. I'm a little rusty, but I promise I'll do my best to keep the updates coming and write some longer chapters in the future. I just wanted to post this as a thank-you to those of you who inspired me to keep writing. Thanks again for your support, and please review!**

**~TheSongSmith  
**


	9. Day One: Part Two

**Hey everyone! Sorry it took so long to get this chapter out; I've been so busy I barely have time to breath. I wrote this one passed midnight, so I'm not exactly sure if it's any good. I've had the contents of next chapter floating around in my head for a while, so I really just wanted to get this part out so that I can write the next part. As always, thanks for reading!**

**~TheSongSmith**

JPOV

The rest of the day passes uneventfully in the barn. We make smalltalk, but Edward does most of the talking. I was never a big talker myself. It's still nice that he's willing to keep me company all day. I'm kind of freaking out about my appointment, but I don't want to break down in front of Edward considering the fact that I think I might like him as more than a friend.

I still don't understand it. I shouldn't like him. In fact, after things ended with Gabriel, I told myself that I was never going to get that close to another person ever again. Getting close meant risking getting hurt. But no matter how many times I tell myself this, I can't stop myself from feeling the way I do about him. For every argument against getting close, there's another one that's all for it. So the question remains. What do I do?

There's a part of me that thinks he's only doing this because he pities me, but there's also a much larger part that thinks that maybe he could like me back. I suddenly realize that I've barely spoken to him all day. How could he fall in love with me if I don't let him in a bit? It takes this thought for me to realize that I really do want to stay with him. I don't know why, but he's the first person I've felt connected to in a long time. I never realized how much I miss that connection I used to have with people before he took it away. Now, with Edward, I can take it back. I am brought out of my inner soliloquy when I find that Edward, who has just finished washing the dishes from dinner, is staring at me.

"You look exhausted." He says.

"You don't look much better." I reply.

He laughs. "Well," he says, "I think it's time we both went to bed."

He follows me up the stairs, probably to make sure I don't fall off them, and comes to a stop in the space between our doors.

"I guess this is goodnight." He sighs. "Remember, my room is right across the hall, so if you need anything don't hesitate to wake me up."

I'm trying to find the right words to express my extreme gratitude for everything. I can't figure out exactly what I want to say, but I don't want him to go either, so I find myself reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze.

"I just wanted to tell you," I begin, "that I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me, and that I know I've been really quiet, but it's just because…well, I'm still getting used to everything, but…" I hesitate. "I do want to tell you about…everything, but I just can't right now."

I steel myself for the rejection to come, but it never does, instead, Edward squeezes my hand back.

"I know Jasper. I understand. I'll be here to listen when you're ready. Goodnight."

And with one final squeeze he releases my hand and goes through the door across from mine. Okay, so I definitely like him as more than a friend. I just have to find out if he could ever love someone like me; someone broken. I know one thing for sure; I need to speak up more. It won't be easy to tell him what happened, but I know I'll be able to do it if it means having Edward in my life.

**Oh my goodness! What will happen next? I can't tell you yet, but I promise it'll be really fluffy and that it'll come out faster if I get a lot of reviews, so please let me know what you think!**

**Until next time,**

**TheSongSmith**


	10. Nightmares

**Yay for long and emotional chapters!**

EPOV

Lying in bed, Jasper's words run over and over in my head. It's most likely the longest sentence he's ever spoken to me. As much as I tried to smother it, I couldn't stop the little flame of hope, the one that says that he might love me back, from springing up in my chest. For the first time, I realize how exhausted I am. I'm just drifting off to sleep when a yell has me out of bed again. I know immediately that something is wrong.

When I burst into his room, I find Jasper thrashing around on the bed. He's mumbling things I can't hear and occasionally crying out. Something is very wrong.

I shake his shoulder and call his name loudly. When he sees me he tries to pull away, but I manage to hold him in place long enough for him to recognize me and stop struggling. He's a lot stronger than you'd think. I see the recognition in his face and what might be tears in his eyes.

"Jasper? It's okay Jazz, it was just a dream. It's going to be okay." I start to release him, but, to my surprise, he grabs onto me tighter and burrows into my chest. It's an uncharacteristic move, but it's one of the few times that he's initiated contact, so who am I to question it?

"It's okay Jazz. I promise. Everything's okay. I'm here now; no one's going to hurt you. You're safe now."

I hear a small whimper from his trembling form. I rub small circles on his back and murmur soothing words until the shaking stops.

"Jazz? Are you alright?" I ask. I feel him nod in response. "What do you say we go get a glass of water?" He pulls slightly away from me and nods again, but keeps his tight grip. "It's okay Jazz, I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

After I fill two glasses with water, a process during which Jasper refused to leave my side, I sit us both down on the couch. He's still a little shaky, but at least his heart rate and breathing are getting closer to normal.

"Jasper?" I ask. He looks up at me. "What happened?"

He sighs as if he's been expecting this. "It's just something that happens sometimes." He replies. "Sometimes certain memories, things I don't want to remember, replay themselves in my dreams. I'm sorry I woke you."

I really can't believe this. After everything he's been through, he's apologizing for waking me up? "Jasper, you don't have to apologize to me. I told you before that I want to help you, and I can't help you if you don't let me. Really, I don't mind."

This seems to be a relief to him. "Jazz?" I hesitate. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure." He replies, but I can see the dread in his face. He knows exactly what I'm going to ask, but I have to know.

"Was it about…him?" I ask as delicately as I can.

Jasper nods solemnly. "Yes," he began, "it was about the first time I remember being afraid of him. This was the first time he was so violent he left marks. Before this, he had shoved me around and stuff like that, but I never considered that abuse. I just thought he liked to play rough, and I can't say I was opposed to it in the beginning. I suppose I should have seen it coming, but I didn't. I don't even remember what I did that made him so angry. He cornered me just as I walked through the door. I remember the terror I felt the first time hit me; the first time I realized that he was capable of really hurting me. I begged him to stop, but he ignored me. It was the first time I ever felt completely powerless. Eventually I passed out. I'm still not completely sure what he did during the time I was out, but…I have certain suspicions, if you know what I mean."

After he finishes he stares down at his lap, avoiding my gaze.

"Jasper," I say firmly, "You have nothing to be ashamed of. It wasn't your fault that asshole took advantage of you. I hate him. I'd hate anyone who would hurt you. But I promise I'll do my absolute best to make sure it never happens again. Thank you for telling me. It means a lot that you trust me that much."

Jasper looks up from his lap and squeezes my hand. "Of course I trust you." He says quietly. "You saved my life. You're the first person who has really cared about me in a long time. And I know you'd never hurt me." He pauses for a moment. "You know, this was the first time I've ever woken up from a nightmare to find someone there for me."

"I'll always be here for you. You know that, right?"

He nods and gives me a small smile.

"Well, I'd say it's time for both of us to get some sleep." I say. I help Jasper make his way slowly up the stairs. He's still holding onto me like his life depends on it, and when we get to the top of the stairs, his grip tightens.

"Don't leave. Please?" he asks. "It's just that…I feel better when you're here."

"Not a problem. Would it make you feel better to sleep in my room tonight?" He nods, and I feel him relax a little. I settle him under the blankets before crawling in beside him. There is only a moment's pause before he snuggles up next to me. It's not too long before he is fast asleep. I wait up for a while longer, just in case his bad dreams come back, but after an hour and a half of peaceful snoring, I allow myself to fall asleep.

* * *

When I wake up again, the sun is shining through the window. Jasper is currently sprawled across my chest, fast asleep. He's probably the most adorable thing I've ever seen. I'm actually a little disappointed when he stirs. "Morning." I say quietly.

Jasper opens his eyes. Slowly, it dawns on him that he's lying on another person, and he looks up at me. He looks confused, which is once again an adorable expression on him. Alright, so what's not an adorable expression on him? I watch his face as the events of last night register with him. "Morning…" he replies slowly.

"How'd you sleep? You know, the second time." I ask.

He smiles, more awake now. "A lot better. But, the details of last night are a little fuzzy. Would you mind filling me in?"

"Well, you were having a nightmare, so I woke you up, but you were still pretty shaken up. We went downstairs had a glass of water, and you told me what your dream was about. Then, when we went back upstairs, you asked me to stay with you. And that's how we ended up here."

Jasper just nods, but something has been bugging me.

"Jasper, I, um…I hope I didn't overstep a boundary by bringing you in here. I know you don't like to be touched a lot, but at the time I just wanted to make you feel better. I wasn't thinking, and I-" but Jasper stops me.

"Edward, you didn't overstep anything. You did everything right. You helped me so much more than you know. You made me feel safe. It was exactly what I needed you to do." He says. "You worry about me too much."

A huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. "I know, I know. I'll work on it."

He smiles brightly and yawns. We go downstairs and have breakfast before heading out to the barn again.

"Hey Edward?" Jasper asks. "When do you think I'll be able to ride again?"

I have to think about this for a while. "Well, you're healing pretty fast. Alright, I'll let you ride for half an hour today, but I don't want you going any faster than a walk."

He looks happier than I've ever seen him. "I haven't ridden in a long time. Would you mind going with me?" he asks.

"Sure," I reply, "it'll be fun." I have to tell him he can't ride Shoshana yet. Firstly, I'm not sure how much training she's had, and secondly, if something scares her she could throw him off. Though he's getting better a lot faster than I thought he would, getting thrown could set him back for months. Instead I choose Tala for him. She's obedient and calmer than the others. Once he's seated, I walk Tala into one of the training rings. I walk her around a few times, but soon Jasper wants to steer himself. I teach him how to control her and watch them make their way around the ring a few times before getting Kedar out and riding next to him

"Alright Jazz, ready to leave the ring?" he nods and I tell him to follow me out of the ring and into a pasture, where we walk and take in the scenery for a while. Jasper is practically radiating happiness now. I find myself thinking that I could get used to this.

"Hey Edward?" Jasper says, "Thanks for letting me ride, this was a lot of fun."

Oh yeah. I could definitely get used to this.

* * *

**So, what do you think? Questions? Comments? Let me know! As always, reviews inspire me to write faster! Love you guys for reading!  
**


	11. Relaxation

**I'M BACK! I got a lot of really positive feedback from you guys, and you made me feel good, so I wanted to give you a little something because this weekend is going to be crazy for me and I'm not sure when I'll be able to write again, but hopefully I'll be able to update at least twice next week. Thanks for all your feedback, I appreciate every comment!**

EPOV

Jasper asks to stay with me again tonight. I know he needs to learn to be independent again, but I also know how nervous he is about his appointment with Carlisle tomorrow. One more night can't hurt. Besides, it seems to calm him, and keeping him calm is of the utmost importance while he's healing. The added stress of his nightmares, along with everything else he's going through, could undo all the progress he's made. So I decide that, until he gets stronger, I'll do everything I can to keep him as calm as possible. He can learn independence later.

Before we go to sleep, we could both use a shower. Since Jasper's wounds aren't quite healed yet, he has to use a washcloth. It's slower, but it works. When I come out of the shower, I help him wash his hair before setting him down on the bed so that I can clean and redress his wounds. He's calmer tonight than I've ever seen him before. I'm not sure why, but I'm hoping that it's a sign of his emotional recovery.

* * *

JPOV

I feel like a child, asking Edward if I can stay with him tonight, but it really does make me feel safer. Of course, I'll have to deal with things on my own eventually, but for now being with him helps me relax.

Edward is trying to make me feel like I'm still independent. He leaves me to clean myself up while he takes a shower. Doing things for myself is nice, but it also gives me a chance to think about my appointment tomorrow. My anxiety starts to rise again, and I'm glad when Edward comes back. At least he takes my mind off of it for a while. Of course, I'll be able to wash my own hair once I'm allowed to take a real shower, but for now I have to use the sink. And because my stitches won't allow me to stretch up that far, Edward has to do it for me. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it a little.

When I lay down to let Edward change my bandages, I get temporary relief from my anxiety. It's easier to relax when I can focus on him. He crawls in beside me and I curl up next to him, but the pressing silence allows my worries to slip back. I can't relax enough to sleep, so I end up tossing and turning for a while. Edward's voice breaks through my thoughts.

"Jasper," he says quietly, "What's wrong?"

"I can't sleep." I reply. "I just can't relax."

Edward is silent for a moment. "Is it about tomorrow?" he asks.

I nod. "I know I shouldn't be worried, but I am. I can't stop thinking about it long enough to sleep."

Edward gets quiet. "Well, there are some things we could try that might help. But only if you want…" he says quickly.

"Ed," I reply, "I'm ready to try anything that might help. Please tell me."

He hesitates. "I don't know if it would work, but…we could…only if you're comfortable…I was thinking that maybe a massage could help you relax?"

I have to admit, it never occurred to me that this was an option, but now it sounds like it could work. Edward's attempts to put me at ease are adorably awkward.

"Ed, you don't have to worry about making me uncomfortable or anything. I think it might work."

"You're sure?" he asks uncertainly.

"Edward, I trust you, remember?" I remind him. He nods.

Edward instructs me to lie on my stomach. He starts up at the base of my neck, but the touch is so light that it's almost non-existent. I can't help but smile.

"You're not going to hurt me, Edward." He smiles too and takes the hint.

While his hands, pressing firmly now, work at the muscles of my neck, he makes a small sound of disapproval. "You have knots on top of your knots Jazz."

I laugh. "Well, it's been a while since my last five-star massage."

Edwards smiles again. If I didn't know he's a doctor, I would have thought he had a degree in massage therapy. As he moves down to one shoulder, then the other, and then slowly down my spine, my anxiety about tomorrow dissipates until I'm no longer thinking about anything but Edward.

For a moment I consider how strange this would have seemed to me three weeks ago. Thinking about it now, I can't believe I never experienced this kind of love before Edward found me. Some people live their entire lives without real friendship and love. I always thought I would be one of those people, but instead I got a second chance. And I know I'm not going to waste it.

I've never been a religious man, but Edward really is an angel. My angel. The first person in my life who has truly cared about me. And even though getting close to people means the risk of getting hurt, Edward is worth the risk. And with that, I am finally able to drift off into a peaceful sleep.

**I know this chapter was definitely shorter than my last, and I'm working on getting some longer chapters, but they don't always break off nicely. I thought this was an important step in the relationship, so I wanted to focus on that anyway. As always, reviews make me feel good and inspire me to update faster!**** Thanks for reading!**

**TheSongSmith**


	12. Fluff

**This is just a random bit of fluff I came up with. Has pretty much nothing to do with plot, but I was in a fluffy mood and it didn't turn out that bad, so I thought I'd share anyway**.

JPOV

This morning, it seems I'm the first one awake. It might be nice, except the reason I've woken up so early is because of the growling coming from the other side of the door. As much as I hate to wake Edward, I don't have a choice. I sure as hell am not going to find out what it is, and it's really freaking me out.

"Ed? Edward? Edward! Wake up!"

He wakes with a start and is staring at me, trying to find the cause of the panic. "What? What's wrong?" he mumbles.

"Listen!" I hiss. The growling is still coming from just outside the door. To my surprise, Edward just smiles and starts walking towards the door. "What are you doing?" I ask nervously. Whatever was on the other side of the door wasn't happy.

Edward takes one look at me and laughs. "Relax Jazz. It's just the dogs."

Dogs? I think back to my tour of the ranch. I seem to remember two dogs. One of them was Casey; the other I think was Bailey. But the dogs I remember could not have been making a sound like that.

Sure enough, when Edward opens the door, one giant furball, a golden retriever named Bailey, bounds onto the bed and starts licking my face. But Edward is looking at the small husky who's curled up on the floor, Casey. Something is wrong. I have to wrestle Bailey off of me to get close enough to see the problem. She's got at least fifty porcupine quills stuck in her.

Edward seems to be completely frozen. He's staring at her like he's never seen her before.

"Ed?" I ask cautiously. "Edward, we have to help her."

For the first time since the dogs' entrance, he looks up at me. I see more fear in his eyes than I ever have before. Not even was I was bleeding to death did he ever look so terrified.

"Edward," I say again, "We have to do something." This time my voice seems to snap him back to reality enough to nod. "Is there a vet to call or something?" I ask. I don't know much about animals, but usually there are people who take care of these things, aren't there?

But Edward shakes his head. "No," he mumbles, "I can do it. I've lived on a ranch for practically my whole life. It's just, I…" he breaks off mid sentence, and, as much as he tries to hide it, I still hear the pain in his voice. It's clear this dog is much more than a pet to him, and though I'm tempted to ask, I keep it to myself for now.

Instead, I reach a hand out to him, and he takes it like it's a lifeline. "Alright then," I say gently, "I'll help you. Just tell me what you need me to do."

He nods and pulls what I'm assuming is an emergency kit from his closet. "I need you to get behind her and hold her still. Please." He says tensely.

I hold her while, one by one, Edward pulls the quills out. She whines occasionally, but, for the most part, doesn't fight him. Once he's sure he got them all out, he tells me to let her go. At once, she jumps into his lap and licks his face. This, at least, makes him smile. When she's done licking him, she finds a spot on the floor to curl up, and is almost instantly asleep. Bailey follows her, and now Edward and I are the only two awake.

"How does that even happen?" I ask.

"They live in the woods around the ranch. They run away from people, but sometimes the dogs chase them. If they try to catch them, that's what happens. She'll be all right though." He says quietly. He still looks shaken up.

"Ed?" I ask cautiously, "Are you alright? You scared me for a minute there."

"I know. I'm sorry. She just means a lot to me."

"I understand." I reply. "Come on, let's go back to sleep. It's too early to be up."

Edward allows me to walk him back to bed and tuck him in, and I idly wonder if this is what he feels like when he's taking care of me. It's a feeling I've never had before, and it's intensely gratifying in a strange way. To my surprise, when I crawl into bed, Edward is the one who cuddles up to me. He lays his head on my chest; it seems calm him a little bit. I rub his back gently until I feel his breathing even out and his muscles relax.

I'll have to ask him someday why the dog means so much to him. But for now, I'm content to watch him sleep peacefully. I never thought of myself as someone who could take care of someone else. Then again, I never thought I'd find someone to take care of me either. It's taken a terrible accident to show me the truth, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

**So, just a bit of fluff. Had one of those days, you know? But anyway, thanks for reading!**


	13. Here I Go

**Hi guys! Just wanted to let you know I'm still around! These past weeks have been crazy for me, and I apologize for not updating sooner. This is just a short little chapter to remind you that I'm here! Hopefully I'll update more next week. I'm off from school, so I should have some more time to write. Yay!**

JPOV

"Edward?" I question at the breakfast table, "What's wrong?" Although he's definitely more responsive than last night, he's been avoiding my gaze all morning, and he seems lost in thought.

"It's nothing…" he replies quickly. But I know he's thinking about something.

"Ed, don't lie to me. I know you better than that."

He smiles ruefully for a second. "It's just that…well, I brought you here to take care of you, but it seems that you're the one taking care of me."

_This_ is what he's been thinking about? "So?" I exclaim, "What's wrong with us taking care of each other?"

His smile widens. "Nothing I guess. It just took me by surprise. I've never really been taken care of before."

At this, I laugh. "And I have? This is all new for me too Ed. But we can make this work, don't you think?" I say before I think. That was such a stupid thing to say!

I'm afraid he's going to tell me that he's not interested, but instead he just says, "Yeah, I think we can make this work."

Well, that's new. I don't have very much time to consider his answer because now he's talking about my appointment today. That nervous pit in my stomach starts to grow until I hear him say, "I was thinking that maybe, if you wanted to, we could do it out in the barn. I thought it might help."

I knew there was a reason I loved him. He's proven himself once again to be the most thoughtful man on the planet. "That would be great." I reply as that nervousness dies down.

After we finish eating, we head outside to the barn and relax for the hour leading up to my appointment. It's definitely helping the nervousness. Still, I jump when Edward's phone beeps.

"Carlisle says he's at the front gate. I'm going to go get him, okay?" I nod quickly, and in that moment I'm so glad Edward is letting me stay in the barn.

All too soon, Edward returns with a tall blonde man who introduces himself as Carlisle. He has a warm smile that puts me at ease. I don't know how this is going to go, but I suppose there's only one way to find out. I sit down, take a deep breath, and start talking.


	14. Revelation

**Hey everyone! I'm terrible sorry that it's so long since my last update. I totally intended to write this over Christmas break, but I got strep throat two days before Christmas and was in no shape to get out of bed, and every time I tried to write this I couldn't. Then, when I was feeling a bit better, I wrote it. A day later I hated it, so I deleted it all and started again. As much as I want to update frequently, I don't want to put out crap just for the sake of getting it out there. So here I am, with a version of this chapter I am happier about. More news at the bottom! Enjoy!**

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JPOV

My appointment with Carlisle was nothing like I expected it to be. He didn't ask me how I felt about things or force me to talk about my problems. He told me a bit about his family and his life, and told a few anecdotes that made Edward blush.

"So," Carlisle says once he's finished an endearing story about a young Edward belly-flopping into a pool, "Edward never told me how you two met. How did you come to be here, Jasper?"

I explain the story to him, how I collapsed in the parking lot; how Edward was the one that found me, scared and bleeding to death, and reassured me that things would be okay. I tell him that, when Edward found out that I had nowhere else to go, he offered to let me stay with him. Carlisle seems surprised at this.

"What about your family?" he asks. "You couldn't have gone to them?"

But I shake my head. "No. They, uh…they kind of disowned me when I told them I'm gay. Well, my sister was okay with it, but my parents…they said it was unnatural and that no son of theirs could be gay. So, I left. I haven't heard from them in years."

At this, Edward squeezed my hand gently, and I'm suddenly very thankful for his presence.

Carlisle looks a bit saddened, but he doesn't push the subject. Instead, he simply says, "Well, I'm sorry to hear that Jasper, but, I'm glad you've found some sort of happiness here with my son. It seems our time is up for now, but it was great meeting you, and I'm looking forward to seeing you again next week."

He shakes my hand, then turns to Edward. "I think you should tell him, son. I think it would help you both." Edward just nods solemnly, and Carlisle says that there's no reason for Edward to walk him to the gates, as he's perfectly capable of finding them himself. As he leaves the barn, Carlisle turns and waves before seeing himself out.

"Edward," I ask after a moment, "what did he mean? What does he want you to tell me?"

Edward takes a deep breath, as if trying to find the words to start, but he can't seem to manage it. "Can I tell you later?" he asks. "I'll tell you tonight. I just…need a little time first."

I can see the pleading in his eyes, and I know that whatever it is he's going to tell me, it's not something he would tell just anyone. I nod. "Edward, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to. You know that, right?"

"But I want to. Carlisle's right. It's something I need to do. Just not right now."

Well, that's something I understand more than anyone else could. "Alright. When you're ready to talk, I'll be there to listen."

He smiles at that and takes my hand again. I wonder if he feels the same sparks I do when we touch. We head back to the house to eat lunch, and then Edward lets me ride again. We spend all afternoon enjoying the sunshine, and he looks happier now than he has in a while. I wonder if it's the nice weather, or the promise of getting something off his chest, but he's a bit freer now; not quite so serious. Riding next to him, with the beautiful sun setting in front of us, I can't help but want to keep my life this way. I'm finally happy, I've found a man I trust, a man who, more importantly, has earned that trust, and for the first time my life is looking up.

No matter what it is that Edward wants to tell me, I know I'll still be here for him. I have to be, because it's in this moment that I realize something so important that I can't believe I didn't notice it before. I realize that I am completely in love with this man, and there's not a force in the world that could change that.

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**So guys, what do you think? I love all your comments. Oh, and here's some news! YAY NEWS!**

**So, a few of you have pointed out that the whole conversation where it's decided that Jasper will go live with Edward is mysteriously missing. I went back and looked, and you're right! Now, I know I wrote that part, but that's apparently not the version that ended up online. I wrote the beginning of this a long time ago, and I guess back then I was trying to imply the conversation, with limited success. I was young and inexperienced then, and I didn't have a direction for this story. But ever since I restarted this story, I've been meaning to go back and fix the beginning. So here's my plan: Whenever I can, I'll take a chapter and revamp it. Then I'll just replace the stuff in the existing chapter with the revised version. Now don't worry, it'll still be the same story. But it will hopefully give present and future readers more clarity.**

**And, so that you don't have to keep checking back, I'll let you know in one of these nifty little author's notes when I've finished revising a chapter. So what do you think? Good plan? And thanks for alerting me to the problem, that's one of the many reasons I love you guys!**

**Until next time (soon hopefully!),**

**TheSongSmith**


	15. Love and Hurt

**Hey guys! I've been having problems with the website, for some reason it wouldn't let me on to the sign in page! But because of that I've taken the time to not only write this chapter, but also to revise all the previous ones! But I'll talk more about that at the end. This is a longer and emotionally packed chapter, but it felt right. Hell, it's my story, so I get to decide what's right anyway! Enjoy!**

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JPOV

Later that night, Edward and I start going about what has become our routine. We both get ready for bed, and he changes the bandage again.

"Jazz," he says quietly, "I have a few things to tell you. I'll leave the thing Carlisle was talking about for last. Just…please don't be upset with me when I tell you."

Once again I am struck by just how lucky I am to have landed on this man's doorstep. He's refusing to meet my gaze, so I reach out and stroke his cheek gently. He is startled, but at least he looks at me. "Edward, I'm not going to be upset with you. I promise. Whatever it is, we're in this together."

This seems to calm him a bit, and he starts talking while finishing changing the bandage. "Well, the first thing I have to tell you is that a few days ago, the hospital called me up. They said that the police looked over footage from the security cameras, and they found the guys who shot you. They said it wasn't an accident." The last part is almost a whisper. He finishes fussing with the bandage and sits next to me on the bed. "They arrested the guys that did it, and when they were interrogated, they both said that they were hired by someone. A man named Gabriel."

Oh. So Gabriel decided I wasn't worth hunting down himself, so he hired someone else to do it. Probably better that way, he would have made me suffer.

Edward leans his forehead against my shoulder, and when he speaks again his voice is broken. "Please Jasper, don't be mad that I didn't tell you. I just didn't want you to be upset after everything you went through. I'm sorry."

I bring my hand up behind his head and stroke his hair a few times, trying to get him to stop shaking. "Edward? Edward, look at me. Please." I say softly. He looks up, and I see terror in his face. He honestly thinks that I'm going to reject him now. Can't he see that I'm in love with him?

"Edward, it's okay. I understand. You did what you thought was best for me, because you care about me. How could I be mad at you for that?"

It takes a moment before he understands what I said, but when it finally registers relief washes over his face. He hugs me so fiercely that I think he might never let go. Not that I'd mind all that much.

"Alright," I laugh, "Don't suffocate the injured person!"

He laughs too and relinquishes his hold. "I've still got two more things to tell you." He says.

"What's the second thing?" I ask.

"Don't freak out, alright?" he says, "But it's time to take your IV out."

My stomach drops and my heart jumps into my throat. "Take it out?" I repeat.

"Hey," he says, putting a calming hand on my back, "You said you weren't going to freak out. Just let me explain. It'll feel weird, and you might feel a little pinch, but that's all. Compared to all the other stuff you've been through lately, it'll be a cinch. I promise."

I never really considered that it would have to be taken out eventually, and the thought makes me a little sick. But Edward has been so kind and honest with me that I can't say no. So I just nod to him.

"Jazz, are you okay?" he asks, concerned.

"I'm fine." I reply, somewhat nervously. I can do this. I _will _do this. For him.

"It'll be over before you know it." He says comfortingly. He instructs me to lie back on the pillows and pulls the hand with the IV into his lap. He pulls off the medical tape, and I'm terrified that the needle will move and hurt. But, always a man of his word, Edward makes sure it doesn't.

"Jazz, I need you to relax. If you're too tense this will hurt, and I don't want it to." I take a deep breath and unclench the muscles in my hand that I didn't realize I had tensed in the first place.

"Alright," he says, "here we go. Just one, two, three, and then it's over."

I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and try to relax as much as possible. Edward takes the needle out quickly and puts a small piece of gauze over the site. It hurts for a moment, but it's nothing compared to the experience with the bullets, the memory of which is all too vivid.

"Jazz?" Edward asks cautiously, "You okay?"

I open my eyes and smile at him. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thanks."

He puts a small band-aid over the site, and, though he smiles at me, his nervous air has returned.

"Edward, I'm no mind reader, but I can tell that whatever it is that you want to tell me is giving you a heart attack. What's wrong?"

He looks down at his lap. "It's just that…well, what I have to tell you…it could change our…well, whatever it is we have here. And I don't want to ruin this. Because I care about you so much…" he trails off.

But he's not getting away from me that easy. I reach out and cup his cheek, forcing him to look at me.

"Edward," I say as seriously as I can, "You need to know that nothing you could ever say could change the way I feel about you. Us. Whatever this is. Because…well, I have something to say to you too."

It's now or never, I suppose. "I…I think I love you. And I know I've got more problems than I can count, and my life is completely screwed up and all that, but I can't help it. Nothing you could ever say would change my mind. And I know you probably don't feel the same way about me, but not even that could change the way I feel. I just…"

But Edward stops me. Now, in his face I see something different mixed in with the fear. Something happy.

"Jazz, you have no idea how happy I am that you said that," he grins, "Because I feel the same way. I just didn't want to push you into anything, especially not after what you told me. Thank you." He blushes just a little bit.

"You're thanking me," I chuckle, "for loving you? How could I not love you Edward? I don't know what I did to deserve someone like you." He just laughs. "So," I continue, "now that you know that, will you tell me?"

He nods solemnly. I take his hand and he squeezes it tightly.

"Remember a few days ago, when you asked if I made a habit of bringing home strays? The truth is, I only bring home the ones who are…like me, I suppose. You see, Carlisle and the rest of my family…they're not really biologically my family. I was taken away from my other family when I was nine, and Carlisle and his family adopted me soon after that. The people I lived with before that…they did some terrible things. To me. The truth is, I'm just like you, because the exact same things happened to me. We were both hurt by the people who are supposed to love us. Everything you're going through, I'm going through too."

Looking at Edward before, the calm, collected man who saved my life, I never even suspected that this was under the surface. He really does understand what it's like to try to hide it from people; to be afraid all the time.

"Carlisle was a young doctor then. I met him one time I was sent to the emergency room. My family, they…they pushed me down the stairs that time. And I remember the look on his face when I told him that I just fell. He knew I was lying. But all he said was that he would help me if I let him. He's the one who called the police and got me away from those terrible people, and then he adopted me without a second thought. I'll always be grateful for that. So many terrible things could have happened to me if it wasn't for his compassion. Instead, I used my experiences for good. I became a doctor. I helped people. You remember how I freaked out that night Casey tried to bite a porcupine? She was the first thing I ever saved. She was just a puppy then, and I found her abandoned out in the woods when I was twelve. I took her back to the house and begged Carlisle to help her. He did, of course, but he made me help too. He wanted to teach me that I could do good, no matter what my background was. She was always kind of a symbol to me; that I was not like my biological parents. That I could help people instead of hurt them. That's why I'm so attached to her."

His eyes fill with tears, but he makes no move to wipe them. Instead, he continues.

"And, when I saw you that first time…I knew. I knew that you were just like me. Scared, and alone, and hurt. And I just couldn't leave you, because for years people saw what was happening to me, and no one said anything. And then I saw you, and I thought that maybe I could be someone else's Carlisle. Maybe I could rescue them, because I know what it's like to be alone, and no one should have to feel that. And sometimes I feel so selfish for that, but I couldn't help myself."

A tear rolls down his cheek, and I reach over and wipe it away, though he doesn't seem to notice.

"Ed, that's not selfish." I say quietly. "In fact, that's about the least selfish thing I've ever heard. Whatever the reasons, the fact is that you saved my life, and you gave me a home. You showed me what real love looks like. You know what it feels like, to have one kind person change your life. That's what you've done for me. And I don't know why you'd ever think I'd change my mind about loving you because of this. Edward, I love you, and I always will. This changes nothing."

He squeezes my hand gently, mumbling a "Thanks," before looking up at me. "I have something I want to show you. I saw the look on your face the first time I saw the scars and bruises, but you shouldn't have been embarrassed."

He takes his hand from mine and uses it to pull off his shirt. Littering his torso and back are the scars of his past. Not as numerous as mine, but a few nastier than anything I had. I reach out and trace the path of one significantly worse than the others. It starts just below his collarbone and crosses all the way to the right side of his ribs. He closes his eyes, but he doesn't look upset. Rather, he looks like it's calming him a little bit.

"That one is the worst," he says quietly. He moves closer and takes my hand again before telling me the story. "They were angry with me for something I can't remember, and they were drunk, and I was too small to stop them. They took a knife and did that as punishment for whatever they were angry about. But they didn't do it quickly, they -"

He stops, his words cut off by tears, and I can't help myself anymore. I pull him into a hug and hold him as close as I can. He's shaking with the effort of not breaking down, but I know he can't keep it inside any longer.

"It's okay Ed. You're here with me, not with them. They can't hurt you anymore. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. You're safe. Let it out. I'm not going anywhere."

I feel him shudder before all of the things he's held back for so long come rushing out. "I don't understand how they could torture their own son…" he mumbles. "and then they literally put salt in the wound. How could they? And they sat there and listened to me scream, and they laughed. How could anyone do that to a child? I was seven, and weak, and in pain, and alone, and they laughed. Why…"

His tirade ends with a sob, and all I can do is hold him closer and try to make him feel how much I care about him as his tears pelt my shirt like rain. And I understand now, why he had to save me. It's because when you've been alone like that, you want to make sure that no one else ever feels like that. So I hold him until his sobs become whimpers and gasps, and then I do my best to calm him down like he did for me.

"It's okay Ed, I'm here. Everything's going to be alright. You're safe now. I'm not leaving you. I love you. Deep breaths. Come on, you can do it. Just breathe." I murmur this over and over, and it seems to help.

Eventually he calms enough for his breathing to return to an almost normal rhythm, only interrupted now by small hiccups. He pulls away from my shirt, and even red-eyed and puffy, he's still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. I plant a kiss on his forehead and watch as the tension leaves him.

"I've never told anybody that." He says.

I have to smile. "I figured, considering the way everything kind of rushed out at once. It's freeing, isn't it?"

He nods and blushes. "Sorry about that…" he mumbles.

"Don't be." I say firmly, surprising myself. Even Edward looks a bit surprised. "Take it from someone who's been there. You've just made an enormous leap. That was true bravery. And thank you for trusting me enough to let it all out. It means a lot."

That gets a small smile out of him, and when he glances at the clock on the bedside table, he laughs. "It's after one AM! Maybe we should get some sleep. We can…you know…talk about all of this and…us…and everything tomorrow."

"I'd like that."

We crawl into bed, side by side, and Edward starts to reach for the light switch.

"Hey Ed?" I say cautiously. He turns and pauses in his reaching. "I just wanted you to know that nothing's changed. I still love you just as much as I did all along."

He smiles brightly and turns off the light. Before I'm fully settled, he sets a kiss on my cheek. "I love you too." He whispers before snuggling closer and falling into a peaceful sleep.

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**Well, what do you think? Too emotional? I was in one of those emotional moods, so I could be biased. Whatever, it's my story, but I still value your opinions.**

**Also, if you ever spot anything in my story that doesn't make sense or fit with the rest of the story, please let me know. I write these usually very late at night, and I make mistakes. So let me know! And yes, I've revised the previous chapters to give them a bit more clarity. I think.**

**But anyway, please review and show me you love me!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	16. What Are We?

**Okay guys, this is just a short little chapter. It was something that needed to happen, but I didn't want to group it with the first or the next chapter. But there's some epic adorableness anyway, so yay!**

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EPOV

As the early morning sun beats through the windows, I find myself thinking about the happenings of last night. I can't believe I told him everything. Even the things I never told anyone, not even Carlisle. And I _really_ can't believe I broke down like that. I even cried. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I've cried as an adult, and I've never ever broken down in the arms of another person. Then again, I've never had another person I trusted to see me like that. I just broke down in front of the man I love, and he looked me in the eye and told me that it didn't change a thing. My head says that he could have lied to make me feel better, but my heart says that it was genuine. Either way, we're going to have a lot to discuss today.

I watch the light from the window color Jasper's skin. He seems to be glowing with it, and I can't help but to reach out and stroke his cheek gently with my thumb. Jasper stirs, sits up, and stretches. He looks over at me with that still sleepy haze and he smiles.

"Morning," he whispers.

"Morning." I reply. "Hey Jasper, I, uh…I need to talk to you."

His expression turns serious. "Sure Ed. What's wrong?"

I take a deep breath. It's now or never. "What is this…thing between us? I mean, are we just friends, or…" I trail off.

Jasper's smile returns. "I thought I made it clear last night," he laughs, and then, quieter, "I love you Edward, and there's nothing on this earth that could change that."

"So are we…together?" I ask hopefully.

"That depends," he replies, "Are you asking?"

I can't believe he was just waiting for me to ask. "Jasper Whitlock, would you do me the immense honor of going out with me?"

Jasper just laughs and nods, and soon my smile matches his. I jump up and hug him, more to be close to him than anything else. But when we separate, he's still got that concerned look in his face.

"What's wrong Ed? Isn't this…what you wanted?" He looks nervous, like a little boy who's not sure if he's in trouble.

"Of course this is what I want," I reassure him gently, "but there is the small matter of our pasts, and I want to do this right. So I was thinking that maybe we should take it slow. That way neither of us will get unintentionally hurt. And if you ever think I'm taking it too fast or you're uncomfortable, please tell me. I want this to be good for both of us."

He looks relieved as he nods. "I agree. And the same goes for you." He says. "We've both been through abuse, and if I ever do anything you're not okay with just let me know. I really want this to work, and I don't always know what you're feeling, so you'll have to tell me, alright?"

I nod in agreement, and then I get an idea. "Jasper, I'd like to take you out on a date tonight. A real first date, with the fancy restaurant and the walk down the street holding hands and everything else you see in all those movies. So, would you like to go on a date with me?"

"I'd love to Ed." He smiles brightly and hugs me again, resting his head on my shoulder. "Thanks." He murmurs.

At 5:30, Jasper comes down the stairs wearing a suit and tie. "You know," he said curiously, "I found this in the clothes your sister bought. How did she know I'd need this?"

I have to laugh. "She knows everything." I shrug, and Jasper follows me outside to the car.

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**So, whatcha think? Remember, reviews make me happy and willing to write faster! Love you all for reading!**

~TheSongSmith


	17. First Date, First Kiss

**Hello Everyone! I finally found some rare free time to crank this one out, and I rather like it. I hope you do too!**

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JPOV

Edward was right about our first date coming straight out of the movies. He took me to a fancy restaurant, where he opened all doors for me. We sipped wine in fancy glasses and ate dinner by candlelight. You'd think two people who'd lived together for a while, even shared the same bed, would run out of things to talk about, but we never did. I think that counts for something. Afterwards, we took a walk down the street, arm-in-arm. We even did the holding-hands-while-eating-ice-cream bit. It was romantic and wonderful and I never wanted it to end.

Edward pulls back in the driveway and scurries around to open my door for me. We meander slowly up to the porch, where I stop him.

"Ed, can I ask you a question?" I say quietly. He nods, a look of concern playing across his face. "Why did you do this for me?"

He thinks for a moment. "Because," he replies slowly, "You deserve this. I want you to have all the experiences that come with a healthy relationship. And _we_ deserve this. Because we've been through so much, but we're still here. No reason not to celebrate. They haven't taken our right to experiences like this…" he trails off.

Thinking about his sweetness and honesty, and how I'm so lucky to have found someone like him, I can't help myself. I lean in and press my lips to his softly. He freezes at first, but after the initial shock he kisses me back.

This is nothing like what I used to have with Gabriel. To anyone else it would have seemed like just any other kiss, but the differences between this and what I'd experienced before are monumental. In every kiss before this one, Gabriel was always the dominant one. That's how all of our relationship went, but I never knew anything different.

Now, Edward and I are equals. In this kiss, I feel things I never did before. I can feel how much he cares about me, as silly as that may seem. And this is the moment I know for sure that I am absolutely, one hundred percent, completely in love with Edward Cullen.

When we're forced apart by that pesky need for oxygen, Edward's got a huge smile on his face. "How was that as far as first kisses go?" he teases. I shove him lightly as my face heats up, and we continue into the house.

"Seriously," he says, "what did you think about tonight?" He looks slightly nervous, like a little boy. It's adorable.

This time, I'm the one with the giant smile. "I had a great time. I think it's safe to say this is the best first date ever. You were quite the gentleman. I'm sure your mother…Esme, was it? I'm sure she's very proud."

He blushes a deep pink. "Speaking of Esme," he says, "I got a call from her today. She invited us to come tomorrow. She really wants to meet you. So does everyone in my family, actually." He pauses. "But if you're not comfortable with that, she understands. She's just being…her."

I consider this for a moment before deciding that I'd definitely like to meet the woman who made Edward such a gentleman. "How much do they know about me?" is the first question out of my mouth.

"Not that much," he replies. "They know you've had a rough past just like I have, and they know I'm very happy being with you. They don't have to know any more than that if you don't want."

But I shake my head. "No, it's okay if they know. They're going to know sooner or later. I decided…well, I decided that…I really am in love with you Ed. And I want us to be in this for the long haul. And if that happens, which I think it will, then they're going to find out sooner or later. And I'd really like to meet them."

He smiles, and I can tell how happy he is about this. His family is so important to him, especially after what his other family did. And maybe, just maybe…they could be the same for me?

"Alright," he says, "I'll call her in the morning to tell her we'll come over."

"So, who else will be there?" I ask. Even though I'll have Edward by my side, I'd still like to be prepared.

"Well, there's Carlisle of course, and Esme. You'll love her. She acts like everyone's mother, and she'll probably try to get you to eat more food than humanly possible. And then there's my brother Emmett. He's a big guy, but he's such a teddy bear underneath it, so don't let his appearance scare you. And then there's Ali. Well, Alice." He chuckles lightly.

"Ah yes," I say, "The mysterious knower-of-all-things."

"Yeah, that's her. She a tiny, bubbly little thing, but she's got so much energy that it doesn't matter. If she's trying to talk your ear off, just let me know and we'll make an escape."

He pauses. "Jazz, the thing about my family is, they're all huggers. Even Emmett. But if you're not cool with that I can just tell them. They'll understand. I was the same way when I first came to them."

"No, that's okay Ed. I'll be fine with hugs." He looks at me skeptically. "Really," I protest, "I've…changed a lot since I've found you. It's easier now. I think I can handle it. And if I can't I'll just let you know, alright?"

He nods, but he's not very good at hiding his happiness. "Come on you," I say gently, "We should get some sleep."

In bed, Edward leans in for one more kiss before snuggling up to me. Oh yeah. I'm most definitely in love with him.

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**YAYYYYYY! So, what do you think? Like it? Don't like it? Remember, reviews make me more motivated to find time to write, so press that little button and make me happy please!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	18. The Family

**I'm baaaaaccccckkkk! YAY! I've missed you! Sorry this took me so long to get this one out; I've had major homework and studying for midterms. But this is a good one. Yay for Edward's family!**

**Also…WARNING: this chapter contains references to Harry Potter. Mostly because I like Harry Potter. So I don't want to hear any bashing because otherwise I'll be sad, and I don't write well when I'm sad. Consider that your warning. Deal.**

**Now, on to the chapter!**

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JPOV

"Hey," Edward says gently, "You alright?"

We're in the car on the way to meet his family. I'm a little nervous, but I'm sure anyone else me my position would be nervous too. "I'm fine." I tell him firmly.

Edward just smiles and reaches over to take my hand. We pull into the driveway, and he goes around to open my door as a small brunette woman comes toward us. Edward pecks her on the cheek. She hugs him tightly and then turns to me with a smile.

"So this is Jasper," she says kindly.

"Jasper," Edward says by way of introduction, "This is Esme."

"It's so wonderful to meet you," she says as she steps forward to hug me as well. It's perhaps not as intense as the one she gave Edward, but still friendly and caring. I think I'll get along with her just fine.

Behind her, Edward raises an eyebrow at me. It's a question: _Still okay?_ I give him my most winning smile as Esme pulls away.

"Please, come in," she says. "The family can't wait to meet you." She takes my arm and together we walk up to the door with Edward trailing behind.

As we walk into the living room, I spot Carlisle sitting on a chair, talking to a small girl, probably Alice, and a rather large guy I'm assuming is Emmett.

Carlisle notices me first and stands up to shake my hand. "Nice to see you again Jasper." He says warmly.

Emmett gets up too, and he looks even larger standing up. "Hi, I'm Emmett." For someone so big, his handshake is gentler than I would have expected.

Just as soon as he releases my hand, I find myself in the grip of the small brunette girl. "It's so nice to meet you…finally!" she says, shooting a look of mock-anger at Edward. "I've wanted to meet you for weeks now, but my darling brother was worried I'd scare you." She laughs melodically.

"What," says Edward, "No love for your darling brother?" Alice laughs again and hugs Edward too.

"Well Ed," Esme says, "Why don't you give Jasper the grand tour of the house while I finish making lunch?"

Edward nods and takes my hand, a move that does not go unnoticed by either Alice or Esme, but they say nothing, and Edward leads me up the stairs.

"Esme and Carlisle keep all of our rooms the way we left them," he informs me, "So that we'll always have a place when we come back. Even though Emmett and I haven't lived here for years, our rooms are still the same."

We walk down the hall as Edward tells me about each room. We pass Alice's and Emmett's rooms, his parents' room, and Carlisle's study before coming to the last door in the hall.

"This one is yours I'm guessing?" I ask.

Edward just smiles as he opens the door and lets me take in the room. There's a large bay window in one corner that looks out over the small meadow and woods behind the house. A bed is against the wall opposite the window, carefully arranged so that the sunlight hits it amiably. A cherry colored desk sits in another corner, papers stacked neatly on it. Across one wall is a large bookshelf, which I walk over to examine more closely.

"You've got an entire shelf devoted to the Harry Potter series?" I chuckle.

"Of course I do!" he exclaims. "What wouldn't I?" he laughs a bit as well.

"Well, at least the colors of your bedroom make sense." The overall color scheme of the room was a dark blue supplemented with bits of bronze and silver. "You totally would be a Ravenclaw." I remark, and he practically dances right there in the room.

"YOU READ HARRY POTTER?" he yells. "Jasper Whitlock, I think I might love you even more now that I did before."

I laugh a little. "You really mean that? You really…love me?" I ask quietly.

Edward throws his arms around me, leaning his forehead against mine. "Jazz," he says quietly, "Of course I love you. I love you like Snape loves Lily. I love you…Always." He grins, and it's infectious.

I lean up and press a quick kiss to his lips before pulling away to sit by the window. "It's beautiful out there."

Edward joins me by the window. "This was always my favorite spot." He remarks. "Whenever I was stressed or upset, I'd sit right here and sketch what I could see outside."

This is news to me. "You draw?"

He just nods and pulls a sketchbook from a drawer. I skim through it. His drawings are so amazing. There are pictures of the exact view I have right now, as well as other things. "Edward, these are…beautiful." I say, incredulous. "Why didn't you tell me you were so good?"

Edward shrugs. "It was always just something I did for myself. I never thought I was that good."

"You don't give yourself enough credit." I tell him. "You're really good. And that gives me an idea…"

But just then, Esme's voice calls up the stairs, saying that lunch is ready.

Edward raises and eyebrow quizzically at me. "I'll tell you later." I say, winking at him. He just laughs before taking my hand and leading me downstairs.

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**So, whaddaya think? And remember, no bashing. Any Harry Potter bashing will make me a sad panda. But I like this chapter a lot and I hope you do too. The next one will contain a Titanic reference. Some of you are probably too young to know that movie. Gosh, I'm getting old. Anyway, love ya!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	19. Walks and Talks

**Hello my pretties! As always, I am amazed by how many of you enjoy my story. To be honest, I'm really just making it up as I go along, and apparently I must have some good ideas. Also, in my last notes I forgot to add that this story has over 100 reviews! WOW. I love you guys forever, and I hope you enjoy this **

**~TheSongSmith**

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**EPOV**

The smell of food draws us downstairs and out to the back porch, where Esme has set out more food than I thought could ever fit on a table. The usual family madness ensues, and I'm proud and a little surprised to see how well Jasper is fitting in with the rest of them. A few weeks ago, I could barely get him to talk to me. Now he's laughing at something vulgar Emmett just said while discussing something shopping-related with Alice. He laughs lightly and turns to smirk at me as Esme and Carlisle tell a funny story about my awkward teenage years. He seems to be really enjoying himself, and I never realized before how happy his happiness made me.

After lunch, Jasper and I are clearing the table when Carlisle comes up to us. "Hey Jasper, mind taking a short walk with me?"

Jasper smiles. "Sure Carlisle." They start to walk away, and I automatically follow, but Carlisle turns around.

"Why don't you stay and help your mother, Ed? I think she could use you." The message couldn't be clearer. Whatever he was going to say was for Jasper only. I scrutinize Jasper's face for any sign of discomfort or fear, but find nothing.

"Go ahead Ed," Jasper says softly, "we'll be fine." He smiles reassuringly, so I turn and head back into the kitchen to find Esme.

"Hey mom," I say lamely, "Could you use any help?"

"Sure Edward. You shouldn't worry, you know Carlisle won't hurt him." She says knowingly. "He just wants to make sure that Jasper's doing alright. It's his job after all. But I know he won't harm a hair on your boyfriend's head."

At this, I freeze. Did she just say boyfriend?

"Oh, was I not supposed to know yet? You know me. I'm a mother, I know my kids, and I'm pretty fair at reading body language as well."

She pauses, and then, more gently, "You _do_ love him, don't you?"

"I think so."

"And he loves you too, I can see that. And you both know of the other's love. What's the hold up?"

I sigh, trying to figure out how to explain. "It's different than before. What I feel for him is different than anything I feel for others. But I really want to do this right. I want to show him what a good relationship can be like. He's never had that. But I'm also worried about getting too involved. How do I know if I really love him, or if I just care about him?"

Esme smiles that motherly smile of hers. "You've already said you felt something different for him. You care for him and protect him. Would you do anything for him?"

"Yes, mom. But…it scares me that I could be so devoted to someone in such a short amount of time."

She sighs lightly. "Love is just funny like that. Sometimes it takes a while to grow, and sometimes it just drops out of nowhere. Or, in the case of you and Jasper, drops in a parking lot. Love is still love. Besides, you two are so similar, and you've helped each other so much. You started out closer to him than anyone else because of what you share. It's no surprise that it happened so quickly."

I don't care what anybody says. I will never stop needing my mother. "So," I ask, "you really think this might work?"

Instead of replying, she takes my hand and leads me to the bathroom, where she stands me in front of the mirror. "That's not a question you need me to answer," she says quietly. "Just look at yourself. You've been happier these past few weeks with Jasper than I've seen you in a long time. Don't you think that counts for something?"

Thinking back, she's right. My life before Jasper was good, but lonely. The only relationships I had were casual things that probably don't even count. It's nice having him there. It makes me happier to be with him than with anyone else.

I turn and pull her into a hug. "Thanks, mom."

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**JPOV**

"So Jasper, how've you been lately?" Carlisle asks as we wander through the woods.

"I've been good, sir."

Carlisle seems a little taken aback by something I've said. "Jasper, you don't have to call me 'sir'. Really, I'm not that old yet," he smiles. "Please, call me Carlisle."

I've never called someone older than me by their first name. But considering how much I have to thank him for, I suppose I can try. "Alright then…Carlisle." I test it out.

"Much better. Now I wanted to talk to you about something. Has Edward…told you anything important lately?"

Now I see why he wanted to talk with me alone. "Yes, he did a few nights ago. He told me about what happened to him."

Carlisle nods. "And…?" he asks. "What do you think?"

I try to find words to express my feelings, but I can't really just yet. So instead I turn and hug the man who saved someone I love. It takes him by surprise at first, but it's the only way I can show him how I feel. "Thank you." I say.

When I pull away, Carlisle looks puzzled. "For what?"

"For saving him. For making him who he is. It was because of you, Carlisle, that he saved me. And not only that, but you changed his life. You protected him, like I always wished someone would have done for me. You stood up for him when no one else would. And you made him the man he is today. The man…the man I love."

He smiles as he understands. "You know, I think there's potential in all of us. I'm sure you've heard stories about what some victims of abuse end up like. It just so happens that Edward chose a good path. You've chosen a good path too, and it seems like you're both helping each other."

I smile a little.

"You know," he continues, "I'm glad you came along. I mean, I _am_ a psychologist, so I deal with victims of abuse all the time. But even though I have experience, I could never connect with Edward on the same level you can. Your experiences are so similar, and I think you're helping each other more than I could ever help you."

"I guess we are kind of helping each other. It's just nice to have someone there who knows what it's like to go through that." I pause. "But Carlisle, there's something else I wanted to talk about with you."

Carlisle looks like he's been expecting this, and waits patiently for me to continue.

"Well…it's just that…I'm in love with him. I'd do anything for him, but I've never done this whole relationship thing. Not a real one anyway. My relationship with Gabriel was the first I ever had, and you can see how that one turned out. I don't want to ruin it. I really, really want this to last. How can I do that?"

Carlisle thinks for a moment. "I'd say just be open and honest with him. He clearly loves you just as much, but he doesn't always know what's going on in your head. And own up to your mistakes. Everyone makes them, but it takes a real man to admit it. And you have to really trust him. He'd never do anything to hurt you. But you don't really need my tips anyway, Jasper. It seems Edward has fallen for you just the way you are."

I smile wider this time. "Thanks, Carlisle."

"Anytime," he replies as we step back onto the porch. "And Jasper…if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here."

"I'll be sure to take you up on that. Thanks."

We walk into the kitchen where Esme and Alice are looking through magazines.

"Have a nice walk?" Alice asks innocently.

Esme looks up at me for a second. "Jasper, you'll find Edward in his room." She says nonchalantly.

I nod and head towards the stairs. Edward's door is slightly ajar, and through the crack I can see him sitting in the bay window, sketchpad out. He is so involved in his drawing that he doesn't notice me until I put a hand on his shoulder, at which point he jumps up.

"Oh, it's you. You scared me!" he accuses.

"Sorry Ed. Forgive me?"

He smiles. "Of course. So how was your walk with Carlisle?"

"It was good, and…you know…full of exercise…" I say, making him laugh.

Instead of asking more questions, he sits down again, pulling me down beside him.

"What are you drawing?" I ask.

A pink tinge spreads across his face. "Oh, it's nothing. It's not done. And it's not that good anyway."

But I know better than to believe this, so I take the sketchpad from him. It's a beautiful picture of the backyard, except now Carlisle and I are pictured in the center, coming back from our walk. "You really do sell yourself short," I tell him. "This is really good."

He blushes a darker color as I hand him the sketchbook back. "So," he says, "what was your idea from before?"

I smile ruefully. "Oh, you'll find out tomorrow."

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**OOH, CLIFFHANGER! Lol it's nothing intense. Mostly just more fluff. YAY. Anyway, I love you for reading and review because it makes me happy! Yay!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	20. One of Your French Girls

**Hello dear readers! I've been off this week, so I got the chance to write more. YAY! I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter, but I'm usually overly critical about my writing anyway. I hope you enjoy it!**

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**EPOV  
**

When I wake up, Jasper's familiar mass is no longer beside me. At first I think something happened, but then I notice the post-it note attached to the pillow.

_**Dear Edward,**_

_** You wanted to know what my idea was. Just follow the notes;  
They'll tell you where to go.**_

_** Love,**_

_** Jasper**_

A scavenger hunt? Alright then. I get up, throw clothes on, and head towards the bedroom door. There's another sticky note there:

_**The hunt for what you want to know has officially begun. For the next**_

_**clue, head to the spot we first sat to enjoy each other's company.**_

The spot we first sat? Oh! The kitchen!

I run down the stairs, and there are four sticky notes with arrows pointing to the refrigerator. When I open the door, another note falls out.

_**So you've found the first place I knew you were something special.**_

_**Eat breakfast, then go to the place you first held me.**_

That's an easy one. The memory of that night is still clear in my mind. I eat breakfast as fast as possible and then run upstairs to Jasper's room. Another note is stuck to the bedspread.

_**That night was the first time I knew that I could trust you completely.**_

_**I realized that you'd never let me down. Now go the spot of our first**_

_**kiss.**_

On the porch railing, another note jumps out at me.

_**That was the night I realized that I was completely, irrevocably in love**_

_** with you. My idea is waiting for you at the place we spend so much time.**_

I jump into the golf cart and speed as fast as I can towards the barn. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's something meaningful if he went through all this trouble.

Sticking out of the door of the barn is my sketchpad and drawing supplies. I thought we left them at my parents' house, but apparently they're in on this plan too. Written on the pad is:

_**You know I love you with all my heart, and loving means letting go of inhibitions. I wanted to show you that I really trust you.**_

I slowly push open the doors of the barn. "Jasper? Are you in here?"

I hear a small shuffling in the corner before Jasper's head appears around one of the stalls. His face is flushed, and I can't tell if it's from something he's been doing or from what his idea is.

"What's all this about Jazz?"

He sighs. "Well you know I'm not the best at the whole trust thing, and that I was always ashamed of myself and all the scars and stuff. But being with you has changed me so much and I really wanted to show you how much I trust you. So my idea is this. I thought maybe you could draw me…like this."

He steps out of the stall, and I realize that the man I love is standing, shirtless, in front of me. "Uh…Jazz?" I murmur.

He blushes. "I just wanted to show you that…well, that I trust you more than anything. And I thought maybe this could be good for me too, to help me be more comfortable with myself. You see something in me that I can't see. Maybe this way you could show me."

I'm still processing all of this, and I can't form words right now, so I just walk over and hug him.

"So, what do you think?" he asks cautiously. "Will you do it?"

It takes a minute for the words to come out, but they do eventually. "Sure Jazz. I'd love to."

We end up in a green field. The sky overhead is clear, and the sunlight makes it seem like Jasper is glowing from the inside. He's lying in the grass, smiling up at the sky. I have to admit that I never thought this would happen, or that he would be the one suggesting it.

"So," he says, "What do you want me to do?"

"Just stay as you are. I like the sunlight from this angle…"

He smirks at me. "And you say you're not an artist…" his smile gets bigger. "Draw me like one of your French girls," he says in his best "Rose" impression.

"You never told me we were full-on recreating the _Titanic_ scene."

Jasper just chuckles and closes his eyes against the sun as I start drawing. Drawing people is so much different than drawing landscapes. Trees and flowers and even most animals don't change much in expression. They lack the finite details of human bodies. Therefore, drawing Jasper takes longer than drawing my backyard. I use my artist's eye to put the man in front of me onto paper. I carefully study the contours that make up the man I love.

After a while, Jasper opens his eyes and watches me work. Some artists hate to be watched, but it doesn't bother me so much. Besides, his eyes are one of my favorite things about him. There's so much you can find out about a person by looking into their eyes. Many of the things I love about Jasper can be found there. His intelligence, his loyalty, his determination, his softer side. His smile. These are what I can see, but I don't know how I can make him see this too.

When I'm happy with the result, I turn it around to show him. In the picture, Jasper is slightly off-center, at ease in the grass with the sun setting behind him. "So," I ask, "What do you think?"

He is silent for a moment more. "This is…amazing. You really do have talent, you know. You shouldn't be modest about it. And thank you for making me look good."

I smile, but in my head I'm trying to come up with a plan. He doesn't understand the reasons why I love him because he fails to see these things in himself. And I swear, if it's the last thing I do, I'll make him see what I see.

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**So, what do you think? Also, virtual cookies to whoever got the Titanic reference because of the movie, not because of the meme it inspired. *hands out virtual cookies***

**Until next time,  
~TheSongSmith**


	21. Stars, Souls, and Songs

**Hello! It's me again. Just wanted to thank you for reading and being generally awesome. YAY!**

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JPOV

Drawing took almost all afternoon. By the time Edward was done, it was almost dinner time. I stayed where I was, staring up at the sky, while he went to get dinner and blankets. The beauty and peace of the whole thing reminds me of a song my mom used to sing to me when I was little, and I can't help but to sing it softly to myself.

_Blue skies, smiling at me_

_Nothing but blue skies do I see…_

I pick up the sketchbook Edward left behind and examine the picture.

_Bluebirds, singing a song,_

_Nothing by bluebirds all day long._

I try to see the things that Edward says he sees in me. At first all I see is the scars; the brokenness. But then I see something new; something softer. Something bright.

_Never saw the sun shining so bright,_

_Never saw things going so right…_

Maybe this was a good idea after all. I only see a small difference, but at least it's a start.

_Noticing the days,_

_Hurrying by._

_When you're in love,  
My how they fly…_

I'm so into my own personal reverie that I'm startled when Edward sits down beside me.

"You never told me you could sing." he says.

"I haven't for a long time. Years. It just popped into my head before."

He smiles that crooked smile of his. "You keep telling me not to be modest, but you should listen to your own advice," he says. "You have a great voice.

I feel the heat rise in my cheeks as he sets out our picnic. We snuggle under a blanket and watch as the stars peek out from the dark sky.

"I always loved the stars," I tell him. "They're so beautiful. But you never really see them that way unless you take the time to look closely."

Edward snuggles closer to me. "That's what I see in you, Jazz. You have a beautiful soul. You just aren't looking close enough to see it for yourself."

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"Hey Jazz," Edward asks me later that night, while we get ready for bed, "what's something you always wanted to do?"

I think hard. There are a lot of things I'd have liked to do, but it's hard to choose one. "I don't know," I say, "what would yours be?"

He considers this for a moment. "I guess I always wanted to learn how to swim. I know there's a pool in the house, but mostly I just sit around in it. I never really learned how to swim."

I consider this. "I always wanted to learn how to cook. I was never any good. But that gives me an idea. We could teach each other. I know how to swim, and you know how to cook."

"That sounds great," Edward replies, but there's a flash of fear in his eyes.

"Ed?" When he doesn't look at me, I take his hand. "What's wrong?"

He takes a breath. "It's nothing. It's just that…once, when I was a kid, I tried to swim, and…I almost drowned. After that I never let anyone try to teach me. I was always too afraid."

It seems that Edward has trust issues just like me. I'm not sure he's really telling me the truth.

"I understand, Ed," I say gently, "but if we're going to make this relationship work, we have to learn to trust each other. I'm trying to work on my trust issues, but maybe we need to work on yours too."

He nods slowly. "You're right Jazz," he says. "I guess we both need some work."

"And you know you can trust me, right? I'd never hurt you, or let you get hurt. But we need to be honest with each other."

"I know." He whispers.

"Then I have to ask, because it seems like more than an accident…were you really trying to swim that one time?"

He shakes his head as a small tear cuts a path down his cheek. "No."

"It was your biological family, wasn't it? They're the ones that did that to you."

He nods silently, too overcome with emotion to speak. I wipe away the tears streaked down his face and pull him into my arms.

"Ed, why didn't you just tell me? You know I would have understood, and that nothing you could say could change the way I feel about you. Why lie about it?"

He sniffles. "Because I've never ever talked about it. And by saying it out loud, it makes it more…real."

I hug him tightly. "It's okay Ed. They can't hurt you anymore. I'm here. And I understand if you don't want to do it."

But, to my surprise, he shakes his head. "No, I want to. You're right. It'll be good for me. For us."

"You're sure?" I ask.

"I trust you." he says simply.

"Okay then. We'll work on it tomorrow."

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**Woohoo! This one was actually pretty fun to write, and it gives us more cool things to look forward too. Yay! Alright, well remember to review because it makes me happy and also remember than I love you all. Like, a lot.**

**~TheSongSmith**


	22. Staying Afloat

**This week has been awesome! I've updated a lot because I've had off for midterms, so when I finished my tests I came home and wrote. Things will get more hectic next week, but I'm still aiming for at least one update a week. Hopefully more, but it depends how it goes. Anyway, this is one I'm really proud of and I love you all for reading!**

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**EPOV**

With Jasper still asleep next to me, I have time to think about the day to come. I can start teaching him to cook this morning at breakfast, but I'm more worried about what will come after that. I understand why we have to do this, for the sake of our trust, but that doesn't make it any easier. At least Jasper's wounds are pretty much healed, so he can come into the pool with me.

Just as I'm starting to freak out a little, Jasper wakes up. I try to smile as his blue eyes search my face, but apparently I fail miserably. He leans up gives me a still-sleepy kiss, then a hug. "It'll be okay," he says, and I feel my nerves calm down just because of the contact.

"Thanks for that," I say.

He just smiles. "So, what's the plan?" he asks.

"Well, I thought I'd start by teaching you to cook breakfast. How does chocolate chip pancakes sound?"

His eyes brighten at the thought of it, and I giggle. "Alright then, let's go."

In the kitchen, I set Jasper to work mixing the pancake batter while I prepare the other stuff. "So, Jazz," I ask, "Would you mind if maybe I…drew you more often?"

He seems a little surprised at this, but not particularly alarmed. "Why?" he asks in return.

"Because I think it could be good. I mean, you're helping me with my trust issues by teaching me to swim. Maybe this could help you. And we could start small and then work our way up to…poses that require more trust?" I feel my face heat up.

Jasper considers this for a moment before nodding. "Okay. Sounds like a good plan."

His agreeing to do it makes me believe that he does trust me. And not only will this plan help our mutual trust, but I can show him more of what I see in him, and maybe he'll learn to see it for himself.

After we eat our pancakes and clean up, Jasper and I head upstairs to change. When I walk into the pool room, he's already there waiting for me. "Ready to do this?" he asks. I nod and try to take deep breaths.

* * *

**JPOV**

"Come on Ed, it'll be okay," I reassure him as I lead him over to the steps into the pool. He looks warily down at the water, but, though his grip on me is tight, he follows me down the steps.

"Alright," I tell him, "now you're going to have to trust me for what we're doing today. I know it's not going to be easy, but I won't let you get hurt."

He nods. "What _are_ we doing today, Jazz?"

"Today, I'm going to teach you how to float." I tell him. I see that flash of fear across his face again as he stiffens, but when I lean up and kiss him, he relaxes slightly. "You trust me, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay then," I say, placing one arm around his back and holding out the other, "I need you to kick your knees up and lean back, like I'm carrying you bridal-style."

Edward puts one arm around my neck and tentatively leans back against my arm. When he brings his knees up I catch them. "Excellent," I tell him as I lean down to kiss him again.

"Alright, now I need you to straighten out your legs," I tell him, and as he does I shift my lower hand from behind his knees to his lower back.

I turn my other hand so that the crook of my arm is below his head. However, he still hasn't actually put his head in the water, and that's going to be the hardest part.

"Almost there Ed. Now just put your head back."

His eyes go wide, and he looks up at me hesitantly. "I…I don't know if I can…" he whispers.

"I know it's hard, but you have to try. You can trust me; I won't let you down."

Slowly, keeping his eyes locked on mine, Edward tips his head back until it rests in the crook of my arm.

"See?" I say, "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

He shakes his head slightly, but he's still tense.

"Ed, you have to relax. Just take some deep breaths."

He tries to relax, but it's just not working enough. I can't continue with the lesson unless I know he trusts me completely.

However, I've got another trick up my sleeve. Slowly, I lean down and press my lips to his. He is frozen for a moment, but soon I feel him fully relax in my arms as he kisses me back.

I pull back a few inches so that I can see his face. The scared look in his eyes is gone; replaced by calm.

"That's better," I tell him. "Now there's just one more thing we have to do, but you have to trust me and not panic, okay?"

He nods. He seems a bit wary, but nowhere near as nervous as before.

"Now I want you to do it by yourself. I'm just going to move my arms. The water will hold you up as long as you don't panic. And just in case, I'll keep my arms under you. Ready?"

Edward nods and takes a deep breath.

"Okay Ed, when I let go you're going to go down a little farther, but you're not going to go under."

Carefully, I lower my hands to about six inches below Edward. He keeps his eyes on me the whole time, and it seems to help a bit, but he's still stiff as a board.

"Come on Ed," I say, taking his hand, "relax. You're fine. You did it."

He takes a breath, and I watch as he gradually relaxes. After a few moments have passed, he looks up at me. "Thank you, Jazz," he says quietly. "I never thought I'd be able to do this."

"You shouldn't be thanking me. This is all you. Thank _you_ for trusting me." I say as I help him back onto his feet.

He turns and hugs me tightly. "If there was ever anyone who deserved my trust," he whispers against my skin, "It would be you."

I press a kiss to the soft skin where his neck and shoulder meet. "Well, Dr. Cullen, you've made excellent progress today. Now what do you say we go get changed?"

Edward chuckles as we climb out of the pool, arms around each other's waists. "You know Jazz," he says, "I'm really glad we did this."

"Really?" I ask. "You are?"

He smiles crookedly. "Yeah. And I also think it's time for another drawing."

"Oh, do you now?" I raise an eyebrow at him, and he laughs.

"Come on, we'll discuss it after lunch."

* * *

**So guys, what do you think? I had a lot of fun writing this. Mostly because they're just so cute together. I know that I'm the writer, so technically I'm the one making them so cute, but still.**

**Anyway, as always review, review, review! It makes me happy :D**

**Until next time,**

**~TheSongSmith**


	23. Beautiful

**Hey guys! So I'm kind of in love with this chapter. But I have to warn you that there's nudity, language, and much *sexytime* in there somewhere, so don't like, don't read! You won't miss much if you just skip this one.**

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**EPOV**

"So," Jasper asks, "what were you thinking for your next masterpiece?"

"Uh, actually I wanted to talk to you about that."

Concern colors Jasper's features. "What's wrong Ed?"

"Well, I, uh…I know that we're doing this to work on our trust issues, and one of the things I think we should work on, for the sake of our relationship is…" I can't bring myself to say it.

"What is it Ed?" Jasper prompts.

"Okay Jazz, here's the thing." I take a deep breath. "I love you, and I want to be with you, forever, in every possible way, and that includes…intimately." I feel my face heat up.

Jasper looks down. "Oh. That."

"Yeah," I say quietly. "And I know that considering all you've been through, that intimacy isn't something you're comfortable with. And I completely understand that. And I know that some of that uneasiness comes from self-image issues, so I thought that maybe…that maybe this way you could be more comfortable with…your body, and…me. And I don't want to push you into anything you're uncomfortable with, but I thought that maybe, if you let me draw you more…intimately, that you'd be a bit more comfortable."

Jasper stares at me like I have three heads for a second. Clearly he wasn't expecting that.

"But if you're not comfortable with that, then I totally understand. I won't be mad if you say 'no'. I just-" But Jasper has gained control of himself again and cuts me off.

"I think you're right, Ed. I've been thinking about it too. I think we should do it."

I'm a little surprised he agreed so easily. "You're sure? I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

He sighs. "Well, I'm not really comfortable, but that's the point. I want to be comfortable. And there's no one better to try with than you."

"Alright then," I say, "I'll let you control the setting and…everything. That way I can be sure I'm not pushing you." I still can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth. They're foreign and strange, but I have to say them.

Jasper nods, thinking. "Okay," he says. "Meet me in the barn in twenty minutes." Before he leaves, he leans in to kiss me. "Don't look so worried," he says, "I want this too." And with that he's out the door.

Twenty minutes pass, and I'm standing at the barn door. I slowly push open the door so as not to startle him. "Jasper?"

"Out back," he calls.

I follow the sound of his voice out the back doors. In a brilliant patch of sunlight, Shoshana lies on the ground, sunning herself. It's an odd behavior for a horse, but she's been known to do it before. And leaned back against her is Jasper, who is, as far as I can tell, almost naked, except for an artfully arranged blanket that hides the things he's not ready to show me yet. I have to admit, I didn't expect this. At least not the second time around. But it means a lot that he trusts me enough to make this big a leap.

"You're still sure you want to do this?" I ask.

He grins. "If you keep asking I might just change my mind," he teases. "But yeah, I'm sure."

I get down to work as Jasper leans his head back against Shoshana and closes his eyes. He looks so peaceful, my blonde-haired, blue-eyed angel, that I find it hard to resist reaching out and touching him. But doing so might shatter this fragile peace he has now, so I leave him be and instead use charcoal to sketch the strong lines of his chest. Okay, so maybe I stare a little longer than necessary, but who could blame me? Not only is the man I love lying almost completely naked before me, but he trusts me enough to see him like this.

When I'm finished with the drawing, I can't bring myself to tell him. Instead I watch him for a few minutes, marveling at the fact that he's mine. Then I reach out and stroke his shoulder lightly. He opens his eyes and smiles. I start getting up, but he grabs my wrist.

"Wait!" he says. He scoots a bit close to me. "I…I want to do this all the way."

Okay, so this I'm definitely not prepared for. "You mean, like, now?" I say stupidly.

"Um, yeah…if that's alright. I don't know how long it will be before I work up the nerve to do this again. And there's no one around for miles, right?"

"Y-yeah, it's j-just us." I stammer.

He looks concerned. "Do you…not want to do this?" he asks.

"Oh, no! I mean, yes. I mean, of course I want to do this. It just took me by surprise, that's all. And I hope you're not doing this for me."

He grins again. "I'm doing this for us, Ed. Because I want this too."

"I…I just…" I pause, collecting myself. "I love you so much, Jasper." I murmur.

"I love you too Ed. I always will. And now that that's settled…" Jasper reaches down, unties the blanket wrapped around his waist, and casts it aside before lying down on the grass.

His whole body flushes a light pink as he looks back up at me nervously. I try not to stare, but I can't resist running my fingers lightly down his body, starting at the base of his neck and continuing down to his hip. He gasps slightly, closes his eyes and throws his head back.

Even he seems surprised by his strong reaction. My guess is that it's been years since he's enjoyed any kind of intimate contact rather than fearing it. This really only makes me want to do it again, if only to get that same reaction out of him, but I can't. Not yet. Instead, I grab my charcoal again and get to work.

When I'm almost finished, I finally allow myself to stare at Jasper's member. Part of me really is trying to draw it. The other part of me is still stunned.

"Hey Jazz, mind if I…reposition you a little?"

He shakes his head, so I reach out and take hold of the leg nearest to me, bending it at the knee, and then pull it to the side until it touches the ground. This leaves him a bit more exposed to me than before, but he doesn't seem to mind. His cock twitches and rises a bit in response.

I glance up at his face to find him looking back at me. He drops his gaze, embarrassed. "Sorry," he mumbles. "I didn't mean for that to happen…"

I can't control myself any longer. I toss aside the sketchpad and charcoal and instead crash my lips into his. He is hesitant at first, but soon starts kissing me back with the same intensity. I run my tongue lightly along his bottom lip, asking permission. He opens to me and puts a hand at the back of my head, pulling me closer. I manage to pull back up a few inches, breathing hard.

"Jasper, I-I don't want to push you…Do you…want to…?"

There's a new, wild look in his eyes, and he's panting so much he can barely answer. But what he says is unmistakable. "Ed…please…I want…you…I want this…to happen…please…don't stop." He pleads.

I grin and reposition myself so that I'm now kneeling over him. I lower my lips back down to his, and I feel him imitate my movements, running his tongue tentatively across my lip. I yield to the light pressure, and Jasper gets to work exploring my mouth. He's breathing hard again, and I can tell he's getting closer, but I pull away, pinning his shoulders to the ground. He whines at the loss, but quickly notices my grin.

"What is it?" he chokes out.

"You really want to do this."

He nods furiously, and I can't help but laugh. "Alright then. I'll give you a taste here, but I think we should still wait to do anything more…intense."

"Excellent idea Dr. Cullen," he says, exasperated, "Now help me!…please…"

His begging is just as satisfying as his reaction to my touch, and part of me wants to see it again, but not this time.

Not done with him yet, I give him one chaste kiss on the lips before pulling away again. He tries to wriggle out of my grasp, but I have the upper hand. Frustrated as he is, he throws his head back willingly as I trail soft kisses across his jawbone, exposing as much to me as possible. I move down and plant kisses under his jaw until I reach his Adam's apple. I suck on it gently, and Jasper shudders and whimpers below me.

Moving down, I lap at the hollow at the base of his neck, then trail more kisses along his clavicle and down his breastbone.

Jasper whines again, one of the many delicious sounds I've been able to pull from him. "Are you enjoying torturing me?" he asks, slightly irritated. I can't help but laugh at his expression. I lean up and whisper in his ear, "Don't worry Jazz, this will all be worth it," before running my tongue along the sensitive skin there, an act that makes him gasp.

"Want me to stop Jazz?" I tease.

"No! nonono. Don't stop! Please!"

"As you wish, my love." I turn my attention further down his chest, where I lick and suck on one hardened nipple.

"Oh…oh God…Edward…" he mumbles.

I move to the other one, repeating the movements. Jasper is quickly becoming incoherent, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't like it. But he's still holding out on me. I want to hear him, and I know exactly how to make that happen.

I suck one nipple into my mouth and bite down gently. This was something in particular that I always found I liked. It hurts a little, but it's also immensely pleasurable. I can see it has the same effect on Jasper that is has on me. When I bite down, Jasper's back arches involuntarily, and he yells my name.

"Shit! Edward!" he screams, followed by a stream of indistinguishable vocalizations.

I laugh lightly as I move back up to his neck to give him time to calm down. I'm not done with him just yet. I kiss up and down his neck gently as his chest heaves and his muscles spasm. When he's sufficiently calmer, I kiss my way up to the place where his shoulder and neck meet. I lick and suck gently, and, when I think he's ready, I gently bite down on it. He moans loudly, and I release the flesh, now imprinted with the marks from my teeth. I kiss the mark lovingly before moving down again to explore the rest of his body. I move slowly, letting him come down a little bit, making sure he fully enjoys this.

"I've…never been so…" he trails off, searching for the right word.

"Sensitive?" I suggest. He nods. "It's been a long time since you enjoyed intimate contact with someone else, hasn't it?" Another nod. "Well that's why."

I've worked myself down to his naval. I gently nip the skin around it, and, when he's least expecting it, poke my tongue in and swirl it around a bit, eliciting a moan. I carefully trail wet kisses all over his hips and pelvis.

Finally, I nip and lick up and down the insides of his thighs, which puts him into a tizzy. Jasper whimpers, first quietly, then gradually louder.

He squirms, trying to get me where he wants me, but I've got his hips pinned down, and it's futile. He tries to speak.

"E-Ed…please…p-please just…j-just…I-I need you…please…l-let m-me…" he gasps. I don't relent, and his whimpers get louder and more desperate. Several times I work him up to the top, just to bring him back down again, and he's desperate for release.

"I-I …s-stop t-torturing m-me…please…" he pleads.

I stop my teasing, frowning. "You know I'm not doing it to be mean, right Jazz? This is going to make it better in the end."

"I-I know Ed. Y-You'd never d-do anything to be m-mean…B-But I can't h-hold on much l-longer…"

"Well then, I'd say it's time, wouldn't you?" he manages a moan in response. "You're really going to enjoy this Jazz." I whisper. He whimpers again.

With that, I quickly put my lips around the head of his cock, sucking on it lightly. He's trying so hard to control himself, and that won't do. I dip the tip of my tongue into his slit, tasting the pre-cum gathered there. He moans loudly, but it's still not the reaction I want.

"Don't hold back Jazz. I want to hear you."

I playfully swirl around the head a few times before plunging my mouth down on his entire length. This time he screams my name, and it's music to my ears.

"Edward! Fuck…" he moans. "I-I'm gonna…I can't…" he struggles to get the words out.

"Shh love. It's okay. Cum for me, Jazz."

Jasper cries out as the first waves hit him. I move behind him, shifting him slightly so that his upper body rests against me. He clings to me tightly as he rides out his orgasm, and curls into me through the aftershock. I hold him securely as the tremors run through his body and his breathing slows.

Uncertainly, still shaking, Jasper looks up from my lap. His face is still flushed with a light pink glow, but there's a question in his eyes, and his brow wrinkles nervously, as if he's not sure what my reaction will be. Undeterred, I gently tilt his head back and plant a soft kiss on his forehead.

"Beautiful," I murmur against his skin, and I feel his body relax against mine. When I pull back again, I see that the uncertainty in his eyes has been replaced with something else: love. He smiles up at me, still too far gone for words.

"Let's go get you cleaned up," I say.

"I-I don't think I can…g-get up just yet…" he whispers, clinging to me tighter. It's true; he's still trembling hard, and if he tried to stand he'd probably just collapse.

I reassuringly kiss the crown of his head and reach over to the long-forgotten blanket. Wrapping him in it, I carefully scoop him off the ground. His arms fasten automatically around my neck, and he rests his head against my chest as I carry him towards the house.

"I love you, Ed," I hear him murmur as I begin cleaning him up with a washcloth.

"I love you too, Jazz."

* * *

**So, what did you think? This is the first time I've ever written any sort of sex scene at all, not to mention a slash scene, so go easy on me, but let me know what you think!**

~TheSongSmith


	24. Naptime

**Hello all! This one is mostly just fluff, but I felt like it needed to happen anyway. There are more lemons to come, so never fear. I trust that we can all be big boys and girls, and I hope that it's something you want to read considering you chose a story that was rated M and in the "romance" category. Anyway, onwards!**

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**JPOV**

Still dazed, I'm not completely clear on what just happened. I do know that I've never had anyone so attentive to what I need as Edward is, or anyone who'd hold me like he did. I also know that I've never cum so hard that it would leave me weak and trembling for this long. It must be at least ten minutes since I achieved my release, but I still don't think I could hold myself up.

Luckily, Edward is there to carry me up the stairs and into the bedroom, where he sets me down gently. I can feel his absence for a moment before he returns with a basin of warm water and a washcloth. He unwraps the blanket he wrapped me in and tenderly begins cleaning me off.

"I love you, Ed," I whisper as loud as I can manage at the moment.

"I love you too, Jazz," he says softly. "Now why don't you rest for a while? I'll take care of things here."

"That's just like you," I murmur, "Always taking care of me."

He laughs quietly. "Yes," he agrees, "And I'll never stop taking care of you, so get used to it."

I smile as my eyes close of their own accord.

* * *

**EPOV**

Jasper closes his eyes and is out almost instantly. I continue cleaning him up, moving him gently when I need to, making sure I don't wake him.

When he's clean enough I manage to get some pajama pants on him. Just because he was comfortable with me seeing everything in the heat of the moment doesn't mean that the rationally-thinking Jasper will be. Besides, he's already told me about the times with Gabriel that he woke up naked and alone. I don't want him to wake up and flash back to that time, or to think, even for a second in a half-asleep haze, that I might have done something to him against his will.

To further the distance between his memories of those times and what's happening now, I carefully pick Jasper up again and climb into the bed. I settle him on my lap, resting in my arms. He stirs, but doesn't wake up. Instead, he unconsciously throws his arms around my waist and snuggles closer, relaxing against me, his head resting on my chest.

I smile and plant a soft kiss on the crown of his head, taking the time to enjoy the peaceful moment before settling down and waiting for my love to wake up.

After an hour, Jasper starts to stir. He blinks a few times and then seems to realize that he's on another person. He looks up at me, the sleepy haze still clouding his eyes.

"How did I end up on top of you?" he asks, as he wrinkles his nose in confusion.

"I…I wanted to make sure you knew you weren't alone."

Jasper smiles and leans up to kiss me. He settles back against my chest for a moment before shooting up again.

"Wait," he says slowly, "Did we…really?"

"Mmmhhmm."

"And, I…I…and you!" he stutters, putting a hand over his mouth.

"Yes." Jasper remains motionless for a few minutes, and I start to get worried. "What's the matter Jazz?" I ask gently. "Didn't you…want this?"

He unfreezes. "I…well, of course I did. It just…it happened so suddenly. And you…"

I have to giggle a little at that, and Jasper shoots me a playful glare. "You...wow," he says quietly. "I've never experienced…that…before. What did you do to me?"

I grin wickedly at him. "Nothing you didn't want done to you." He laughs as I continue. "Tell me; was that your plan all along?"

"Not…exactly." He says slowly. "I didn't think I would react like that to you drawing me, but after it happened anyway…I just sort of went with it." He laughs. "Though I did not count on you being so goddamn good at it. How did you do that?"

I laugh. "How did I do what, Jazz?"

"Are you really going to make me say it?" he asks. I raise an eyebrow expectantly. "Oh, alright. How did you make me cum so hard I couldn't stand? Happy now?"

"Yes, I am. And I did it by paying attention. And a little teasing. That too."

Jasper flushes, but presses on. "It was like you were inside my head, in a good way. Like you knew exactly what I wanted."

I consider this for a minute. "I didn't know what I was doing at all, to be honest. But we have a special kind of connection, Jazz. I did know what was going on inside your head, in a way. I just hope I did everything right."

Jasper's eyes widen at this. "You hope you did everything right? Edward, did you see what you did to me? People will be singing your praises for years to come." He chuckles.

He seems to remember something else, and groans. "I looked like hell."

"You looked," I correct, "Beautiful."

He looks up. "You…you really meant that?" he asks timidly.

"Of course I meant that. That was the first time I ever saw you surrender yourself to someone, and it was beautiful."

"But those sounds I made…" he groans again, and I laugh.

"I quite enjoyed that part, actually." I tell him.

"You did?"

"Yeah. It was kind of like you were letting go, letting me see a part of you that no one else sees. You trusted me so much that you surrendered all control to me. That's special." I say. "Plus, I kind of like the fact that I can make you whimper like that." I smirk as Jasper shoves me lightly, his face red.

He tries hard to avoid my gaze, but I reach over and pull his chin up, forcing his eyes to meet mine. I lightly stroke the blush in his face and lean closer so that we're only inches apart. "_Bellisimo_," I whisper softly before pressing my lips to his. After a while, he pulls away slightly.

"You speak Italian?" he asks.

"Oui. Et je parle aussi français." I smile.

"You're going to have to stop doing that," he tells me faintly.

"Pourquoi?"

"Because you speak two of the most beautiful languages in the world, and it's sexy as fuck," He says bluntly. "And if you don't stop we might just have to do all this again, and I don't think my body can take that."

"Maybe…later, then?" I ask hopefully.

"Oh, definitely later," he says seriously. "Just give me a little while to recover from the first time."

"If I must," I tease. "Think you can stand up on your own now?"

Jasper considers this. "Maybe." He scoots to the end of the bed and tries to stand up. He wobbles, but manages it with a little help from me.

"You must be starving considering all that…'exercise' you did today," I smirk. Together, we head down the stairs.

* * *

**So next chapter will probably be another lemon. I've found I enjoy writing them, so get used to it, I suppose. I hope it's something you're looking forward to as well, because I know I am :P**

**Also more drama to come, but I need to get a few things out of the way first. Thanks for reading!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	25. Taken

**Drama! DUN DUN DUNNNNN! It had to happen, so don't send out an angry mob for me!**

* * *

**JPOV**

"So Jazz," Edward says while we eat dinner. "What do you think about this whole…intimacy thing?"

I think back for a moment over the events that transpired today. "I think," I reply with a smile, "that I can't wait to see what else we can do. And I also think that I love you more than anyone in the whole world."

Edward smiles brightly in that crooked way of his.

"But," I continue, "I am still a little nervous about some of it. I mean, what we did today was great, but…I'm not sure if I'm ready for the more…intense stuff. I've never done that stuff before." I pause. "Not when I was conscious, that is," I say quietly.

Edward is on his feet, wrapping me in his arms faster than I thought possible. "We can wait, Jazz," he says quietly. "We don't have to do anything if you don't want to."

"Now hold on just a second. I never said I didn't want to do _anything_. You gave me the best orgasm of my life today, and don't you dare for a second think that I'd let you hold out on me. The stuff we did today is stuff I wouldn't mind doing on a more regular basis. It's just the…entering I'd like to hold off on for right now."

Edward nods. "Whatever you want to do, love," he says tenderly. "And, just so you know, even if you said you didn't want to do anything, I'd wait. I'd wait forever for you Jasper, because I want this to be as special for you as it can be. _T__u sei l'__amore della mia vita._"

His kindness and understanding once again overwhelm me. "Thank you, Ed." I smile. Looking down, I realize that I'm still wearing only the pajama pants. "Maybe I should get changed…" I say.

Edward's eyes pass over me. "I don't think so," he replies.

"Oh yeah? And why's that?"

A slow smile lights up his face. "Because," he says, leaning his forehead against mine, "I'd like to try that again, _mon amour_."

"As much as I want to, love, I just don't think I can yet. That first time took a lot out of me." I say, pressing my lips to his quickly. "But there _is_ a good possibility that I'll have recovered enough by tomorrow." I wink.

I run upstairs to get real clothes on as Edward begins cleaning up. When I return, he seems to be almost done. "I'm going to spend some time in the barn before bed," I tell him.

"I'll meet you there in a few minutes."

I meander my way towards the barn, thinking over everything and thinking about how lucky I am to have collapsed next to the best thing that ever happened to me. As I reach for the handle, I hear a strange voice.

"Well, well, well…" says a man's voice.

I look around, but I can't see anyone. "H-hello? Edward?"

The voice laughs; a laugh that makes my blood run cold. "Guess again."

I suddenly find myself being thrown up against the barn door. I fall to the ground, my body aching where it collided with the wood. I am seized by the collar, pulled upright, and pinned back against the door. Inches away from mine is the face of the man I hoped never to see again.

"Hello Jasper," he says ominously. "Miss me?"

I know now that he's planning on hurting me. I can't fight him off; he's bigger and stronger than I am. But I can try and get Edward out here.

Gathering all my strength, I yell as loud as I can. Gabriel puts his hand over my mouth, but it worked anyway. I can see over Gabriel's shoulder that Edward has come out onto the porch. He notices something is wrong and begins to run towards us.

"Feeling defiant, are we? You seem to have forgotten your place, darling. Well, that's nothing we can't fix. You belong to me and only me, Jasper," he says menacingly. He presses himself up against me to keep me against the door and uses his free hand to lightly stroke my cheek. I try to wiggle out from under him, but he's too powerful.

"You're going to behave and come with me Jasper. And I know that for a fact because if you don't…" he pulls a gun from his belt and points it at Edward, who stops five yards away. "…pretty boy over here gets it."

I stop fighting immediately, and Gabriel sneers down at me. "That's what I thought."

Understanding dawns on Edward's face. "Jasper, no! I can't let you go with him!" he tries to take a step towards me.

"Edward, don't you dare. You have to let me go."

"But…why?"

I sigh, defeated. "Because if I don't go with him he'll hurt you. And I could never live with myself if you got hurt because of me. Please, just listen to me and let me go."

He tries for a moment to argue, but can't come up with anything. "I love you Jazz," he says softly as tears stream down his face. "And whatever it takes, I'll find you."

"I love you too Ed. You've changed my life, and I will never forget that." My voice cracks. "But you'd be better off to just forget about me."

Gabriel laughs darkly. "How sweet. Seems like you've come to your senses, Jasper. Good boy."

He drags me by the collar towards the van he drove here in. As Gabriel shoves me inside, I hear Edward call after me. "I love you Jasper. I'll get you back. I promise."

Gabriel laughs. "Good luck with that, pretty boy."

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**I know, I know! Suspense and drama. But don't hate me, it's not over yet! As always, reviews make me happy. Thanks for reading!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	26. Lost and Found

**Ah drama; a necessary part of all stories… *hides from angry mob* this one has a bunch of drama in the beginning, but the end has fluff. The best of both worlds. Yay!**

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**EPOV**

I watch the van speed away, kicking up a cloud of dust behind it. For a moment I'm frozen, trying to figure out what to do. Then I grab my phone and dial the only person that could help me. My hands are shaking so hard that I have to dial twice.

Carlisle's smooth voice is a small comfort. "Hi Ed." He pauses, and when I don't answer, he grows worried. "Edward, what's wrong?"

"You have to help me," I manage. "He took Jasper. I have to get him back! Please Carlisle, help me!"

"Who took Jasper, Ed?" he asks calmly.

"It was Gabriel, the man who hurt him. I tried to stop him, but Jasper w-wouldn't let me. He d-didn't want me to get h-hurt." My voice cracks. "I can't lose him, I just can't!"

I hear Carlisle's breath hitch from the other end of the line. "Alright Edward, you need to calm down. We'll find him. Stay right where you are; I'm on my way."

I hear the sound of an engine start before he hangs up. Without anything else to do, I sit in place, my head in my hands, and wait for him to come.

Carlisle arrives five minutes later. He crouches in front of me and puts a hand on my shoulder. "Ed, it's going to be okay. I called the police, they're on their way. I need you to tell me what happened."

I recount to him the whole horrible story. Towards the end I find it's getting harder to breath.

Carlisle looks at me, concerned. "Deep breaths, Edward. Come on, you need to be strong. For Jasper." The thought of being strong for him helps me regain a normal breathing pattern.

"I just can't lose him, Carlisle. Not after everything. I l-love him." I say quietly when I've got my breathing mostly under control.

"I know, Ed. But it's going to be alright. We're going to get him back," he says as the police cars pull through the front gate. I tell them what happened as much as I can, with Carlisle lending support. I give them descriptions of both Jasper and Gabriel.

"Mr. Cullen," one of the policemen asks, "Did Jasper have a cell phone with him?"

I think hard. "Um…maybe. I gave him one a few weeks ago, for…emergencies. He usually carried it. Why?"

"Well, all cell phones come equipped with emergency GPS devices. If he's still got it with him, we might be able to trace the signal to him." He tells me.

A small flicker of hope flairs up in my chest as I tell the man Jasper's phone number and watch as he runs it through the system.

"We've located the phone. It might not be with him," he warns, "but it's probably close."

I manage to breathe a little easier, knowing that at least we have some sort of direction. The man turns to get into his car. "Wait!" I call out, "I'm going with you."

Carlisle looks at me anxiously. "Edward, are you sure? It might not be with Jasper."

"Carlisle, I have to go." I say, and he nods and follows me into the car.

After the longest hour-and-a-half of my life, the police cars pull up about a block from the location of Jasper's cell phone. They follow the signal to a small house with boarded up windows. The police survey the premises before bursting through the door.

I can hear a scuffle inside and am motioned over by an officer. "Is that the man who took Mr. Whitlock?" he asks.

I look where he points and see Gabriel pinned to the ground by the other officers. The very sight of him makes my stomach turn. "Yes, that's him," I whisper hoarsely, as Carlisle comes up behind me.

Gabriel sneers up at me from the floor, where the officers are cuffing him. "I told you not to come looking for him, pretty boy." He snarls. "You'll regret this."

"Did you really think I wouldn't find you?" I ask coldly. "You made the mistake of underestimating real love and loyalty. You're never getting near him again." I spit back.

The officers drag him out the door just as a young policewoman rounds a corner. "Mr. Cullen?" she says uncertainly. "We've found him, but he won't let us anywhere near him. He's…well, he's scared. We thought he might be more partial to you."

Carlisle puts a hand on my shoulder. "Edward, are you sure you want to see him like this?"

I shake my head. "I don't want to see him like this, Carlisle, but I have to."

He nods understandingly and we both follow the young woman around the corner and down a flight of stairs.

The site at the bottom breaks my heart. Jasper, naked, bruised, and bleeding, is strapped, spread-eagled, to a metal table of sorts. He fights desperately with his bindings, but can't get free.

"Jasper?" I say softly. He whimpers, terrified, and pulls at his bindings even more frantically. "Jazz, it's okay, it's me, Edward."

At that his head snaps up, and he momentarily pauses his fighting. "What are you doing here?" he asks nervously. "I told you to forget about me. You have to get out of here, or he'll hurt you too! Please…" his voice breaks and tears slide down his face.

"Even if that were true, I still would have come after you. But it's okay. He can't hurt you or me anymore." I say, taking a tentative step towards him.

"W-What do you mean?" he stutters.

"I called the police after he took you. They've arrested him. He's going to jail for a long, long time."

At this, Jasper lets out a sob, and I want more than anything to wrap him in my arms, but I can't. I have to be careful now; I have to make sure I don't scare him. The policewoman hands me a blanket and a pocketknife. The blanket I tuck under one arm; the knife I stash in a pocket for now. Cautiously, I approach the table.

"Jazz?"

He looks up at me through his tears. "Help me. Please…" he whispers. I reach out and stroke his cheek. Relief flashes through me when he doesn't pull away.

"Okay Jazz, I'm going to help you. It's okay…" I murmur. I carefully drape the blanket over his private area. I try fiddling with the knots holding him to the table, but I can't loosen them at all.

I remember the pocketknife. "Jazz, I'm going to have to cut these to get you free. I'm going to use a knife, but I don't want you to be scared. You know I would never hurt you, right?"

He nods hurriedly.

"Alright," I say, pulling the knife from my pocket, "Just stay still and I'll have you out of here in a minute."

I start carefully cutting through the bindings, starting with the one fastened around his ankles. Once they're free, I move to the one around his waist, and then to the one across his chest, always cutting away from his body. I cut through the ones pinning down his shoulders, and finally through the ones immobilizing his wrists. I bring the blanket up to cover more of him.

Jasper sits up and looks at me apprehensively. Slowly, I reach out and gently brush away a tear.

"I can't believe you came to rescue me, even when I told you not to," he says quietly.

"Of course I came to rescue you. I love you Jazz," I reply gently.

New tears run down his face, but the fear in his eyes is gone, and he throws his arms around my neck, sobbing into my chest. I hold him tightly, rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him. "It's okay Jazz, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. He can't hurt you ever again; I won't let anyone hurt you. I'll protect you. It's alright." I murmur softly.

In time, his sobs quiet down into small gasps. "Thank you for saving me," he murmurs. I plant a small kiss on the crown of his head in reply.

The policewoman clears her throat, and I am suddenly aware of her presence. "We have an ambulance waiting outside to take Jasper to the hospital," she says.

At the word 'ambulance', Jasper looks up sharply. "No," he whimpers, "I don't want to go to a hospital." His grip on me tightens. "I just want to go home," he says, the fear returning. "Don't make me go. Please," he pleads.

"Jasper, baby, look at me." He does, and I see absolute terror in his eyes. "I'm not going to force you to go, but I really think you should."

"Why?" he asks. At least he's willing to listen to me.

"Partly because I want to know for sure that you're okay, and partly because if you don't go to the hospital, the police can't make a report. And if they can't make a report, then…Gabriel won't go to jail. And I don't want you to live in fear for your whole life."

Jasper nods. "I want him to be locked up forever, but…" he pauses, and when he resumes, he sounds like a little boy. "…I'm scared, Ed."

I tighten my hold on him. "I know you are Jazz. You've been so brave. But you don't have to be scared. Would it help if I was allowed to stay with you?"

He nods shyly.

"Well I'm sure that can be arranged. Anything else you can think of?"

Jasper shakes his head. "Not right now."

"Okay then." I turn to the policewoman. "Go tell the EMTs that I am not to be separated from Jasper at any time, and that if he decides on any more conditions at any point, they are to obey. Have them call ahead and tell the hospital too." The woman nods and exits.

"Think you can do it now?" I ask.

Jasper nods. "Just don't leave me," he says quietly.

"Never," I tell him firmly.

The woman returns. "The EMTs and the hospital staff have agreed to those conditions."

Jasper takes a deep breath. "Okay."

I wrap the blanket around him and help him up the stairs. In the ambulance, I wind up sitting on the stretcher with Jasper in my lap. I don't mind really; it's working so far. While Jasper is by no means relaxed, he is significantly calmer. If he can get through this, I can make sure that Gabriel will never get out of jail. For now, I'm just focused on keeping him calm.

At the hospital, a doctor comes to check out Jasper's injuries. I am thankful they only sent one doctor, and that it happened to be a woman. She introduces herself as Dr. Song, and Jasper seems to trust her enough to let her examine him. She's exceedingly gentle with him; someone must have briefed her on the situation. Anyway, Jasper doesn't freak out when she touches him, so that's a good sign. She cleans and treats the cuts and bruises. Jasper has a few broken ribs, but she manages to set them and wrap his ribcage with an ace bandage without causing him much pain at all.

There is a particularly nasty cut right above his eyebrow. Dr. Song tells him that she needs to stitch it up. I'm worried that he'll fight it, but he just nods. If there's one thing Dr. Song is, it's smart. Rather than make me move, like most doctors would have tried to do, she tells Jasper to lean back against me. This way she can get him in the position she needs without making him upset. I make a mental note that I like her. Jasper leans back, his head on my collarbone. I wrap my arms around his waist gently, and he rests his hands on my forearms.

"How're you doing?" I ask while the doctor prepares the suture set.

Jasper exhales loudly. "Alright. Better with you here. But…does this whole 'stitches' thing hurt?"

"It depends on the person, really," I tell him. "It might hurt a little bit, but it'll be over quickly. Just squeeze my hand if it hurts."

He nods. Dr. Song comes over and tells Jasper to close his eyes. He takes my hands in his and complies. He tenses and squeezes my hand when she begins. She's done in five minutes, and Jasper relaxes again.

"Jasper, the police want to take pictures of your injuries for their records," Dr. Song says. "Is it okay if I let them in?"

He takes a deep breath and nods, but I can tell he's nervous. "You are so brave Jazz," I tell him.

He shakes his head. "No, I'm not. I just want that man to spend forever behind bars, where he can't get to us, and this is the only way to do that."

The police photographers come in and ask me to move off of the bed so that they can take the pictures they need.

Jasper grabs onto me. "You said you wouldn't leave," he says.

"Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere. I'm just going to move out of the shot. I'll stay right by your side, and then, once they're done taking pictures, I'll sit with you again. Is that okay?"

Jasper nods. The photographers take a bunch of pictures. Some are wide shots of his whole body, and some are close-ups of some of the nastier injuries. When they have what they need, they exit.

I sit on the bed with Jasper in my lap again. "Can we go home now?" he asks.

"Soon, Jazz. You're doing incredibly well. Just hang in there a little longer."

He curls up in my lap, resting his head on my chest. "You know," I tell him, "I felt awful when I couldn't stop him. I couldn't imagine living without you. By the time Carlisle got to me, I was hysterical. I couldn't breathe. And I just kept thinking that I had to find you somehow."

Jasper is quiet for a moment. "I know what you mean. When I went with him, I thought he was going to kill me. I didn't think I'd ever see you again. But I thought that, by telling you not to come after me, I was protecting you. It broke my heart to say it."

"After everything you've been through, your final wish was to protect me?" I ask.

"Of course it was," Jasper replies. "I love you."

"I love you too." I pause. "Hey Jazz, there's something that's been bothering me."

He looks up at me, worried. "What is it?"

"Well, before this I always said I would protect you, but I couldn't protect you from this. And it kills me that I couldn't, because I wanted to make sure you'd never see him again, and I failed. But then, when you saw me again, you still trusted me to protect you. Why?"

Jasper looks surprised by this. He reaches up and strokes my cheek gently. "Edward," he says softly, "no one could have protected me from this. I trust you because I know who you are. You completely disregarded what I said and came after me anyway, even though it was dangerous. You take every precaution every day to make sure nothing upsets me. You're patient and kind and you've saved my life twice now. And you really love me."

I feel my face heat up as Jasper smiles up at me. "You may not have been able to save me from being kidnapped," he says, "but you saved me in so many other ways. If it wasn't for you, I would be being tortured right now. That or dead. And I wouldn't have the courage to be sitting in a hospital if you weren't with me. You can't save me from everything Ed," he says gently, "but you taught me how to trust people again. Stop focusing on what you didn't do, and think about what you did do."

He blushes. "So yeah," he finishes, laying his head back down on my chest, "I trust you."

"Thanks, Jazz," I say quietly.

Just then, Carlisle comes through the door, holding a duffel bag. "I talked to the doctor, Jasper," he says, "and she said you can go home any time. I brought you some clothes." He holds out the bag, and Jasper takes it.

"Esme and I were wondering," he continues, "If maybe you boys would like to stay with us for a few days."

Jasper looks at me, and I shrug. "That would be great, Carlisle. Thanks…for everything." He says.

"It's good to have you back, Jasper," Carlisle says earnestly. To my surprise, Jasper reaches out and gives Carlisle a hug.

"Well, I'll let you get changed. I'll meet you two in the lobby," he says, and makes his exit.

"I can go too Jazz, if you want," I tell him.

But Jasper grabs my wrist. "No!" he says. "I mean…don't go. Please."

"Alright, I'll stay right here."

When Jasper is finishing lacing up a shoe, a few policemen come into the room, including the woman from earlier. "Mr. Whitlock," she says, we need to get your account of what happened on record."

Jasper looks at me with wide eyes and shakes his head once. I put a protective arm around his shoulders. "We're not going to do that now," I tell her.

"But Mister Cullen, we need this report."

I have to resist rolling my eyes. "It's _Doctor_ Cullen, actually," I say, stepping in front of Jasper, "And Jasper just wants to go home. So we're going home. You have my cell phone number; call me tomorrow and we'll arrange a time for you to get your report."

Jasper gives me a small smile and wraps an arm around my waist. I put an arm around his shoulders again and together we walk out the door.

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**So this one is one of the longest I've ever written. I stayed up until 3AM writing it and I'm kind of in love with it. Please review and let me know what you think!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	27. Decisions, Decisions

**PLEASE READ!**

**Hello there again! Okay, so about this chapter:**

**-It's the events from the last chapter in Jasper's point of view, plus a little bit of what happens after.**

**-I tried out a different sort of narrative for this part, and I'm not sure how I like it, so let me know what you think!**

**-Some bad stuff goes down in this chapter. And you're all going to probably hate me for it. I hated myself for doing these things to poor Jasper, but it just had to happen. Sorry!**

**-Some awful/colorful language, don't hate me for that either please!**

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**JPOV  
**

In the van, speeding off, a few tears escape my eyes. I told Edward not to come after me, for his own good. But the loneliness hit me hard. I miss him.

"What's the matter, boy?" Gabriel asks meanly. "Missing your little plaything?"

"Don't talk about him like that," I spit back.

He smirks. "Or you'll do what?"

I remain silent.

"That's what I thought."

We continue to drive in silence for at least an hour.

"Where are we going?" I ask finally. "You're just going to kill me anyway. Does it really matter where it is?"

Gabriel laughs darkly. "Oh, Jasper. You underestimate me. I'm not going to kill you just yet."

A little shiver runs through me at this. "Then what are you going to do?"

Instead of answering, Gabriel pulls up in front of an abandoned house and pulls me out of the van. "I've been preparing for your arrival," he says.

Inside the house, he pulls me down the stairs. At the bottom is a strange sort of table. All it takes is one look at his face to know that it's meant for me.

I try to run, but Gabriel has me by the collar, and in the struggle I lose my balance and fall to the floor.

"Have you forgotten that you belong to me, Jasper?"

"I don't belong to anyone," I say impulsively. For this I receive a well-placed kick to the ribcage. I think I hear something crack.

"We'll train that out of you soon enough," he whispers. He grabs a rag from somewhere I can't see and presses it hard over my nose and mouth. There's something on it, I can smell it, and I try not to breathe it in, but I have to. My head starts to feel heavy and my vision blurs.

"Goodnight, boy."

* * *

The first thing I register is that I'm really cold. There's a pounding in my head, and I try to rub my temple in an attempt to make it go away, but I find that I can't move my hand. Summoning all my strength, I open my eyes to see what the problem is. Looking down, I can see that I'm on the metal table, naked, and being held down by straps of some sort. I find that I can't move any part of me at all. I hear someone coming down the stairs as the memories of what happened come back to me. I pull as hard as I can, but I can't manage to budge.

Gabriel appears at the bottom of the stairs, an evil smirk on his face. My heart starts beating out of my chest, because, for the first time, I realize what he's about to do.

"Sleep well, my little pet?" he asks menacingly. "I hope so, because you're going to need your strength."

"W-What are you going to do?" I ask, the panic rising in my chest as he steps closer.

"You'll find out soon enough," he says. "You're going to pay for trying to leave me, Jasper. You thought things were bad before? Just wait until you see what I have planned for you now."

Gabriel reaches out and runs a hand slowly down my chest, and there's nothing I can do to stop him.

"Don't touch me!" I spit at him, struggling against the bonds.

His eyes narrow, and he backhands me so hard that a cut opens up above my eyebrow where his knuckle connected with my skin. "You should play nice, Jasper. Especially since I know exactly where to find your cute little boyfriend. I could just as easily have taken him too. Maybe I will if you don't learn your place," He says coldly.

I bite back all the snarky replies I had at the ready. I know he's going to hurt me either way, but at least I can try to save Edward. I lay my head back down in defeat, trying not to let my anger and fear get the best of me, because I know that's what he wants.

He smiles in mock endearment. "That's a good pet," he says. "Now Jasper, you were foolish to think you could get away from me. You seem to have forgotten that you belong to me; your body and soul are _mine._ So I'm going to have to show you."

He reaches down and roughly yanks on my exposed cock. I try to will my body not to respond, but I fail miserably, and, to my horror, I can feel myself getting harder.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you? You dirty little slut. You want me to do this, don't you?" he sneers. "You've convinced yourself that you've changed, but I know that stupid, cocksucking whore that's always been inside you."

I bite my lip and close my eyes in an effort to stop the tears threatening to spill over. I won't give him that satisfaction. I can't. It's the only thing he hasn't managed to take from me yet.

I hear the sound of a zipper, followed by a shift of the table and a weight on my chest. When I open my eyes, Gabriel sits, straddling my chest, his cock bobbing in front of my face. A sense of dread fills me as I understand.

"I know you can't wait to suck my cock; that's all you're good for anyway. Open your mouth," he orders. "And don't even think about trying to bite me, or your little doctor friend will pay for it."

He knows he's backed me into a corner by threatening Edward, and I have no choice but to obey. He thrusts hard into my mouth, hitting the back of my throat, making me gag and choke.

"You just love sucking my cock, don't you? That's what I thought, you little slut. And you're going to enjoy it even more," he says harshly. "I'm going to cum in your mouth, and there's nothing you can do to stop me. Don't you dare even think about spitting. You're going to swallow every last drop; you hear me?"

And, because I could never endanger Edward like that, I do as I'm told. It's so hard to resist the impulse to heave it back up, but I have to.

When he's done, Gabriel climbs off of the table. He starts putting his jeans on, and I mistakenly believe he might just kill me and end this now. I should have known better. I close my eyes, waiting for him to just get it over with.

Instead, a sharp crack and a flash of pain make me open my eyes again. Where on earth he got a whip I don't know, but it soon becomes clear that the first crack was just practice. He strikes me with it repeatedly, hard enough to leave red welts, and, in some cases, to draw blood, but I still refuse to yell. I know that's what he wants from me, and it's the only thing I can control right now. I watch his frustration with my silence grow and turn into rage.

"I didn't want to do this, Jasper," he says. The falseness is laid on so thick that I can't help but know that this is exactly what he wanted to do. "But you've forced my hand. I want to hear you, boy, and you know it. Now, I'm going to give you one last chance. Either let me hear you, or suffer the consequences."

He lashes out hard at the dark bruise left by his earlier kick. It hurts like hell, but I don't let a single sound escape me. His fury would be funny if I wasn't in this position.

"Well then," he growls, "You leave me no choice."

His touch disappears for a moment before being replaced with a horrible and sudden burning. He's forcing two fingers in me, unassisted by any kind of lubrication or preparation at all. I may not be an expert at this, but even I can tell that it's not supposed to hurt this much. I try to keep quiet, but when he starts forcing his way in and out of me, I cry out for the first time. I can't stop the scream that forces its way between my clenched teeth. This fucking _hurts,_ more than anything else he's done to me already, and it's enough to break my willpower. I scramble, as much as the bindings will allow, trying to get away from this pain, but it's no use. I can't move an inch.

It's getting to the point where I'm actually hoping I'll pass out soon, when suddenly, Gabriel's motion stops. He cocks an ear to the staircase, listening. He's heard something, and soon I can hear it too. It sounds like people. I should be relieved, but instead I find myself terrified.

I think a quick prayer when Gabriel pulls his fingers out. It may only be a temporary reprieve, but it's a chance to breathe. "You'd better not make a sound if you know what's good for you," he spits before going up the stairs.

I can hear a crash and yelling upstairs, and then footsteps coming closer. I struggle against the straps desperately, getting nowhere. The figure who has appeared is someone new. They say something, but I'm not listening, and soon they retreat back up the stairs, only to return with two more figures.

I'm still trying to thrash my way out of this contraption, with no results. One of the figures calls my name; it's a man's voice, and a small whimper escapes as I think that Gabriel has returned to torture me some more. Then I hear it more clearly.

"Jazz, it's okay. It's me, Edward."

That sentence stops me in my tracks. I consider the fact that this is just another mind game, but looking up, I see that it is indeed Edward. There's a hurt look in his eyes, and I wonder if Gabriel got him as well. "What are you doing here?" I ask. "I told you to forget about me. You have to get out of here, or he'll hurt you too! Please…" the tears that I've been holding back slide silently down my face at the thought of a monster like Gabriel hurting my Edward.

Edward takes a step closer, telling me that he would have come anyway, and that Gabriel can't hurt us anymore.

"What do you mean?" I ask cautiously, still not entirely sure this isn't a hallucination.

He tells me that the police have arrested him; that he's going to jail for a long time. The tears start falling faster as he approaches slowly.

"Help me. Please…" I whimper when he's close enough to hear. I'm worried that he'll be disgusted by me now, but he reaches out and strokes my cheek lightly. I close my eyes at the small comfort.

"Okay Jazz, I'm going to help you. It's okay…" he murmurs as he mercifully throws a blanket over my lower half. He tells me that he's going to have to use a knife to get me out, but that he's not going to hurt me. To be quite honest, as long as I don't have to spend one more minute trapped here, I don't really care how he does it.

As soon as I'm freed, I sit up. I want to dive into his arms, but I'm not exactly sure how he'd feel about that now. I know I'm not a pretty sight. A tear rolls down my cheek, and he wipes it away gently. That small gesture conveys so much, but mostly that he still loves me, and I can breathe easier.

"I can't believe you came to rescue me, even when I told you not to," I whisper.

"Of course I came to rescue you. I love you Jazz," he replies.

I can't stop myself anymore, and I put my arms around him and let the tears go. He holds me tightly as I sob, whispering soft words in my ear. When I'm all cried out, I speak again. "Thank you for saving me." I feel him kiss the top of my head in reply.

The first figure makes a small noise; I see now that it's a woman in a police uniform. She starts talking, but all I hear are the words 'ambulance' and 'hospital'. The panic flares up in my chest again. "No," I whimper, "I don't want to go to a hospital." I hold tighter to Edward. "I just want to go home. Don't make me go. Please," I beg.

Edward rubs my back gently. "Jasper, baby, look at me," he implores, and when I do I know he can see how terrified I am. "I'm not going to force you to go," he says, "but I really think you should."

"Why?" I ask quietly.

"Partly because I want to know for sure that you're okay, and partly because if you don't go to the hospital, the police can't make a report. And if they can't make a report, then…Gabriel won't go to jail. And I don't want you to live in fear for your whole life."

Gabriel has to go to jail. He just has to, because I don't think I could stand one more day of knowing he's out there somewhere. "I want him to be locked up forever," I say, "but…I'm scared, Ed." However childish it may sound, it's the truth.

"I know you are Jazz," he tells me. "You've been so brave. But you don't have to be scared. Would it help if I was allowed to stay with you?"

I nod; that's what I want more than anything. After today I don't know if I'll ever be able to leave Edward's side ever again.

"Well I'm sure that can be arranged," he says calmly. "Anything else you can think of?"

I shake my head; being with him is all I want right now. Edward turns and gives an order to the woman, who leaves.

"Think you can do it now?" he asks.

I nod. "Just don't leave me."

"Never."

The woman comes back. She says that the hospital staff has agreed not to separate me from Edward. He looks at me with a question in his eyes. "Okay." I say simply. He helps me up the stairs. Trailing behind is the third figure, which I've come to recognize as Carlisle. I'm glad he's here too.

The EMTs try to convince me to lie down on the stretcher, but if there's one thing I don't want to do it would be laying down. Eventually, Edward gets on and pulls me into his lap. There, at least, I feel safer. Edward persuades me to let the EMTs put an IV in. I don't like it, but he seems to think they know what they're doing, and I trust him.

This trip to the hospital is so much different than my last. I'm not surrounded by the sea of people, and I'm not alone. Instead, Edward and I sit in a small room until a young doctor comes in. I have to admit, I don't think I could have handled it if the doctor were a man. Instead, it is a young woman who comes in. I find it easier to trust her than I thought it would be. She carefully checks me over and fixes my injuries. When she says that one of the cuts is going to need stitches, my heart leaps into my throat for a second. But luckily, Edward is there to calm me down.

After the doctor leaves, the photographers from the police department enter. When they ask Edward to move, I panic, but he reassures me. "Sweetheart, I'm not going anywhere," he says. "I'm just going to move out of the shot. I'll stay right by your side, and then, once they're done taking pictures, I'll sit with you again." The photographers snap away for a while and then take their leave, and Edward joins me on the bed again.

"Can we go home now?" I ask.

"Soon," he replies.

I curl up against his chest, and we talk for a while to pass the time. After a while, Edward asks me why I still trust him. The question surprises me. I try to give him as honest an answer as I can formulate. "No one could have saved me from this," I tell him gently. "You may not have been able to stop me from being kidnapped, but you saved me in so many other ways."

Carlisle comes through the door with a bag of real clothes. He invites us to stay with him and Esme for a while, and I gladly accept. After that terrible loneliness, I want to be around people I know and like.

When I'm almost ready to go, a few policemen enter, asking me to tell them what happened, but just can't talk about it yet. I shake my head once at Edward, and he takes the hint. I have to smile at the way he tells off the policewoman. He puts an arm around me, and the message is clear: _Back off. _I stick close to him the whole way out the door, down the elevator, and into the lobby, where we meet Carlisle.

"I packed some extra clothes for both of you boys," he says as he leads us to the car, "In case you accepted the invitation."

I climb in next to Edward and snuggle close to him again, laying my head on his shoulder. He puts his arms around my waist, and we stay like that for the whole car ride.

We pull into the driveway just as the sun is starting to peek over the horizon. It must be close to 5AM, but when we walk into the house, Esme is waiting for us. Surprisingly, she comes over to me first.

"Oh, Jasper," she says softly, "I was so upset when I heard what happened. I'm so glad you're back." She hugs me gently; Carlisle must have told her about my injuries. "How are you holding up?" she asks sincerely.

I consider this for a moment. "Alright, all things considered. It's nice to know that he's locked up right now."

"I'm sure," she says. "Well, you boys have had a long day. Why don't you go up and get some rest?"

Now that she mentioned it, I find I'm exhausted. Edward and I make our way slowly upstairs and into his room. He helps me change into pajamas.

"You never asked what happened," I say.

He sits down next to me on the bed. "I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about it," he says quietly. "But if you do, I'll listen. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

I nod silently. He'll find out sooner or later; I'd rather he hear it from me now.

"Well," I start, "You saw the setup. I'm sure you can figure out what his intentions were. But he did some things…I think he may have...raped me," I say softly.

Edward goes pale, but he doesn't falter. "May have?" he asks.

"I…I don't know if it counts as that."

Edward nods a little sadly. "Okay then," he says. "Why don't you tell me what happened, and we'll figure this out. It might be important."

So I tell him everything I can. He holds me close, which helps me keep speaking. Eventually, I get to the worst part.

"He, uh, he wasn't happy that I wasn't reacting, so he…he pushed two of his fingers inside me. It hurt so much. Like I was on fire. Does it always hurt that much?"

Edward shakes his head. "No," he whispers, "he meant for it to hurt. He didn't do it right. There are ways to minimize the pain, but that's not what he wanted. And yes, that all counts."

"So I'm going to have to tell the police about it, aren't I?" I ask.

"The more charges we can get against him the better off our case will be. You don't have to, but I think you should," he says carefully. I nod, thinking about how to tell them.

Edward looks down at his lap sadly. "Jasper, I…I'm so sorry that he hurt you, especially the way he did."

I reach over and lightly run my hand through his mess of hair. "It's not your fault Ed. What's done is done, there's nothing anyone can do to change it now. The only thing that is most definitely your fault is the fact that I'm sitting here with you, and Gabriel is in a jail cell somewhere."

He looks up at me bashfully. "I love you, Jazz."

"I love you too, Ed," I tell him. "Which is why I've decided that, as soon as I'm healed, I want to go all the way…with you."

Edward looks up quickly, an expression of shock all over his face. "Y-You do?" he stammers.

"Yes, I do. Unless you don't want to…?"

"No, no, I do, it just…took me by surprise. After everything today…you're sure?"

I lean over and kiss his cheek gently. "I'm very sure, and there's nothing you can say that will change my mind. I know this morning I said I wanted to wait, but I don't. I told myself that if I ever got out of there, I'd start living, and I trust you more than I trust myself. I want to do this for real, and I want to do it with you."

Edward nods, and a small smile escapes him. "Alright then. But you'll have to wait until those ribs heal."

I nod, consenting to those terms. Together we crawl into bed, all tangled up in each other, and fall asleep almost immediately.

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**Once again, please don't hate me. I love you guys. And, for the record, I kind of hated doing those things to Jasper. Well, writing about those things, at least. But it had to get worse before it got better, and a lot of you asked for Jasper's account of what happened, so there you go. Love you, and please review! It makes me happy **

**~TheSongSmith**


	28. Hurt and Comfort

**Hello all! Well after the intensities of the last two chapters, I thought I'd give you some fluff, family hug times, and some positive things. Yay! So here you go; enjoy!**

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**EPOV**

The next time I wake up, the sun is halfway across the sky, telling me it's around noon. Jasper is still all tangled up with me, and I find myself unwilling to move. I watch the sunlight from the window dance across his skin, mulling over the happenings of last night. Well, this morning. I can't believe that, even after everything that happened, Jasper still wants to have a physical relationship with me. The attitude he's come out of this experience with is nothing short of astounding, and I find myself very proud that he didn't let this terrible incident ruin his progress.

Next to me, Jasper stirs, his face scrunched up, and groans. He attempts to move an arm in order to stretch, but drops it back down with a hiss.

"Jasper?"

He blinks a few times before his eyes focus on my face. He smiles at me tenderly, but it fades quickly as he lets out a soft moan.

"What's wrong?" I ask, concerned.

"Everything hurts," he mutters into the pillow.

I tut sympathetically, kissing his cheek lightly. "I'll go get something to help with the pain."

I get up, careful not to jostle the bed too much, and look around for Carlisle. I find him in his study, pouring over a book. I knock at the open door and he looks up. "Good morning, Ed," he says. "Well, good afternoon, I suppose. How's Jasper doing?"

"He's really sore; he can barely move. I was wondering if you had any suggestions on what I could give him that might help."

Carlisle chuckles lightly. "You _are_ a doctor, are you not?"

"Well yeah, but I'm an emergency room doctor. I deal with strokes and broken bones and appendicitis and stuff like that. And the nurses usually take care of stuff like pain medication," I say. "But _you've_ raised three kids, so I thought you might have some experience with what to do for general pain."

Carlisle nods thoughtfully. "I think there's some Tylenol with codeine downstairs in the medicine cabinet. Try giving him that, but make sure he eats something first. If he doesn't it'll make him throw up, and that's not going to help anyone. And then, once it kicks in, see if you can't get him into the bathtub. Warm water might help with the strain on his muscles."

I smile thankfully. "Alright, I'll give it a shot. Thanks, Carlisle."

I let him return to his book and go downstairs to find the medicine. When I do, I exit the bathroom only to bump into Esme.

"Nice to see you up and about, dear," she says. "How is he?"

"Sore. I don't think he'll be getting up today, but Carlisle gave me a few things that should help."

She nods benevolently. "I figured as much. Well, I was just about to bring up lunch for the two of you, but since you're already here, would you mind taking it up for me?"

"No problem," I say, taking the tray from her. I head back upstairs and open the door to my room quietly. Jasper lies in the exact same position as before, but he's still awake. He watches me as I carefully set the tray down.

"Okay Jazz, I have something that will help, but you need to sit up and eat something first."

He groans. "I don't know if the 'sitting up' part is happening."

"Oh come on, Jazz, it'll make you feel better in the long run." I say.

"Yes, but it'll hurt right now," he counters.

"Only for a minute. And I'll help you, so it won't be half as bad."

"Oh, alright," he grumbles. "If you think it will help."

I carefully pull him up into a sitting position, putting more pillows behind him so that he doesn't have to hold himself up. "How's that?" I ask.

"Not as bad as I thought it was going to be," he admits.

I grab the tray and sit down next to him.

"So doctor," he teases as we eat, "What do you have for me?"

"Well, I have two things in mind. One is this medicine that you can take after you eat. And the other I'll tell you about later."

I can tell that he's curious, but in the end his hunger and pain win out over his curiosity.

When he's done, I hand him the two pills and a glass of water. "Let me know when they start working," I tell him.

"How will I know when they start working?" he asks.

"You'll know," I say simply. "Now what should we do?"

He thinks for a moment. "Watch a movie?"

We end up watching Wall-E to distract Jasper from the pain until the medicine kicks in. About a quarter of the way through, I hear a soft "woah," coming from Jasper. I glance over to find a calm look on his face.

"I'm guessing it kicked in?" I ask.

He smiles and nods, relieved.

"Well then, I guess I can tell you about the other idea. But you don't have to if you don't want to," I say quickly.

He looks at me questioningly, and I continue. "Carlisle said that a lot of the soreness probably comes from strained muscles, and he said that a warm bath might help. But I totally understand if you don't want to."

"No, that sounds like a good idea. But I thought I wasn't supposed to get wet? The ribs and everything."

"Well, the ribs weren't completely broken, just cracked, and they'd be fine without the wrap for a while," I assure him. "And the only other thing you shouldn't get wet is that cut on your forehead, and we can work around that."

Jasper considers this. "Well then, if you think its okay, I think we should do it."

I nod and get up, going into the adjoining bathroom. I'm so thankful that whoever built this house gave this room a separate bathroom; this way Jasper won't have to go very far. I run the water for the bath, and, when the tub is filled up, I go back to Jasper.

"Ready?" I ask.

He nods and I carefully help him to his feet. While it's not entirely painless, it's certainly better than before. I help him remove his shirt as well as the bandage. "You know, Jazz," I remind him, "you don't have to be completely naked if you don't want. I'm sure I have a swimsuit around here somewhere…"

But he shushes me. "Edward, in the past twenty four hours you've seen me naked more often than not. And," he says, leaning up to kiss me, "I love you. So it's fine." I smile a little bit at that.

Jasper carefully steps into the tub and lays down. He lets out a sigh of relief.

"I take it that means its helping?"

He nods, sinking down into the water until it covers everything from his neck down, and relaxes against the wall behind him.

After a few minutes, Jasper decides to test out the effects of both the medicine and the water. He stretches, cautiously at first, but then gradually more relaxed. "I wish I could just stay here forever," he murmurs.

"Well unfortunately, you can't stay that long; you'd be a prune. But you can stay in there for a while longer. I'll go find you something to wear."

I walk out into the bedroom just as my phone begins to vibrate on the nightstand. The voice on the other end is detective Williams, the policewoman from last night. I suppose I feel a little bad for telling her off like that, but still, she should have known not to mess with my Jasper.

The woman says she has good news for me. "It turns out we won't be needing Jasper's statement after all," she says.

"Why?" I ask. "Surely you're not letting him get off without a trial!"

"Of course not; we could never do that," she assures me. "There was a sort of…incident at the county jail early this morning. A riot. I got a call from the head of the prison. He told me that Gabriel Martinez attacked an officer, and was shot dead."

It takes me almost a full minute to process this information; so long that the woman calls "Doctor Cullen? Are you there?"

"Oh, yes, I'm here. It's just…are they completely sure it was him? And they have his body to prove he didn't escape? Because I can't tell Jasper this if they're not 100% sure he's dead."

"I wouldn't have called you if I wasn't sure. They have the evidence to prove it. Gabriel Martinez is absolutely, positively dead."

"W-Wow," I manage.

"This also means that we've closed the investigation, considering there's no one to charge with the crime." Her tone softens. "Give my best regards to Mr. Whitlock."

"I will. Thank you," I say before hanging up.

I go back into the bathroom where Jasper still lays, submerged in the tub. "Who were you talking to?" he asks curiously.

"That was detective Williams, the policewoman from last night."

His expression changes. "Oh. So they've decided when they want me to tell them what happened?"

I shake my head. "No. She was calling to tell me that…they don't need you to tell them anymore."

Now Jasper looks confused. "But…yesterday they said-"

"I know," I interrupt excitedly. "But apparently there was some sort of riot in the county jail. That bastard tried to attack an officer, and they killed him." The words sound strange coming from my mouth, and I can tell that they sound strange to hear as well.

"Wait, so…he's dead?" he asks, incredulous. "Like…for real? They're sure?"

I nod happily. "I asked. They're sure."

Jasper is unable to form coherent thoughts for a second. "Wow…" he says quietly. "That's…that's amazing. And weird to think about. But amazing. He's just…gone," he muses.

"Yes, and it means he can never hurt you, or me, or anyone else ever again. And it also means that you don't have to go through the investigation."

"Wow," he says again, in shock. Suddenly, a bright smile lights up his face. "This means that we can be together forever. And we don't have to be afraid. I'm…We're…free."

I kiss him lightly before helping him out of the tub and drying him off. "We should tell everyone," he says excitedly. Can we go down and tell them?"

"Oh no. You're not going anywhere that's not bed. If you strain yourself, it'll only go back to hurting like it was this morning." He looks a little disappointed. "But," I continue, "if you want I'll call everyone up here so you can tell them."

Jasper's face lights up again, and he nods vigorously.

I settle him in bed before going to round up the family. I lead them all upstairs and into my room, taking a seat next to Jasper on the bed.

"Everyone," I say, "Jasper has something he wants you to know." I reach across the bed and take his hand gently.

"We, um…we got a call from the police today," he starts. "They told us that…Gabriel is dead."

There is a moment of shocked silence before everyone smiles and dives in to hug us. Alice shrieks so loud that Emmett decides to just drag her out of the room. Carlisle and Esme are left behind, hugging us and each other all at the same time.

"We're so happy for you boys," Esme says.

"And we're also very, very proud," Carlisle adds. "You two have been there for each other through a lot, and you've both made exceptional progress. And now, with this over, there's nowhere to go but up, right?"

"Nowhere to go but up," I agree, sharing a look with Jasper.

Eventually we are once again left alone. I turn the movie back on as Jasper and I snuggle into each other.

"I hope you can get used to this," he teases, "Because I'm planning on keeping it this way for the rest of my life."

* * *

**MUAHAHAHA! You all asked me to kill him, and I have to admit that I took particular pleasure in writing it so what do you guys think? And, before you ask, yes, Gabriel is dead for good. Not coming back. But that does not mean our story is over! Far from it, my friends! So please review and stay tuned for more updates, which will undoubtedly contain many lemons and fluffy moments. Yay!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	29. The First Time

**Warning: much sexytime in this one. I really like writing lemons. It's so much fun, so there's a long one in here. Yay!**

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In two weeks, Jasper is declared fully healed, at least physically. He's been talking to Carlisle and to me, so he's on his way to being healed mentally and emotionally as well. But the real change is in his demeanor. Before, he was always looking over his shoulder, waiting for something bad to happen. It seems that Gabriel's death has freed him. He smiles more often, and stands a little taller.

Yesterday, we moved back into what has become _our_ house, and this morning I woke up to find Jasper sprawled across my chest, fast asleep. I watch him sleep, marveling at my luck, until he wakes up.

He sits up slowly and stretches before leaning over to kiss me. "Good morning," he smiles.

"Good morning to you too," I reply. "Hey Jazz, can we talk for a second?"

He nods. "Sure. What about?"

"Have you given any thought as to what you want to do, now that you have your life back?" I ask.

He thinks for a moment. "I kind of have, actually."

"Oh?"

"I'd like to, maybe, go into nursing…" he says quietly.

I have to say I'm a little surprised. But the more I think about it, the more I can see it. Jasper is level-headed in a crisis, extremely compassionate, and very bright. He'd make a good nurse.

"I think that's an excellent idea," I tell him, and his face lights up a little bit.

"You do?" he asks.

"Yeah. I think you'd be a great nurse. In fact, I think you should start looking into nursing programs."

He nods slowly. "Maybe I will," he says. "But I have something to talk to you about too. You said that I had to wait until my ribs healed. And they're officially healed as of yesterday."

"I know, Jazz."

"So what's the problem?" he asks softly.

I take a deep breath. "It's not that I don't want to; I do. It's just that…every time I think about it, I worry that I'll do something wrong and hurt you. And then I'll be like him." I mumble.

Jasper reaches out and cups my cheek gently. "Edward," he says sternly, "You listen to me right now. You will _never_ be like him. He was the kind of person who got pleasure from hurting people, and having power over them. We both know you could never do that, to me or anyone else. I trust you completely. It's time you started trusting yourself."

I consider this. "You're right. I just really want this to be a good experience for you."

"It will be, as long as it's with you. So what do you say?"

Instead of answering, I lean in and kiss him. He places a hand behind my head, pulling me closer. I carefully put my weight against him. He takes the hint and leans back. I continue to press forward until he's flat on his back, at which point we both have to come up for air.

"You're sure?" I ask one final time. Jasper just nods, breathing too hard to speak. "Well then," I say, "I guess it's a good thing that we never got changed." He smiles brightly.

I kiss my way across his jaw and neck. Remembering that day out in the barn, I pay special attention to his Adam's apple, and he moans softly, threading his hands through my hair. I continue downward, scraping my teeth roughly over each nipple, making him squirm and tighten his grip on my hair. I bring my mouth back to his to free my hands. I grab the bottle of lube from the side table and cover three of my fingers with it, making sure they're properly coated.

I carefully position my hand, the tip of one finger just grazing his entrance. He stiffens a little bit. "Alright Jazz, I'm going to try and make this as painless as possible. Say 'yellow' if you need me to pause for a few minutes, or 'red' if you want me to completely stop, okay?" Jasper nods. "Don't be nervous," I tell him, "The more relaxed you are, the easier it will be."

He takes a deep breath and tries to relax. To help him keep his mind off of it, I go back to teasing the most sensitive areas I've found. I carefully rub my lubed finger around his entrance. I move my mouth back up to his neck and collarbone and bite down hard. Jasper moans loudly, and, as he does, I gently slip my finger inside. I can feel his whole body tense.

"How's this?" I ask.

"Alright," he says. "It feels weird, but it doesn't hurt." I take that as an incentive to continue, and slowly start moving my finger in and out as his body adjusts to the protrusion. When he's gotten somewhat used to it, I crook my finger a little and brush lightly against his prostate. Jasper throws his head back and whimpers loudly, bucking against my hand a little. Carefully, I press another finger in next to the first. His face contorts for a moment.

"Jazz, you alright?" I ask, concerned.

"Yes," he says as the expression passes. "It's just really tight. Are you sure it's going to fit?"

I chuckle a little. "Give it time, love. You're almost there."

As carefully as possible, I position the third finger beside the other two. "Okay, Jazz, this one might hurt a little. Just breathe through it and relax as much as possible."

Carefully, I push a third finger in. Jasper whimpers quietly, but doesn't tell me to stop until all three are fully inside. "Yellow," he whispers, and I give him some time to adjust to the feeling. I leave my fingers where they are, but lean up to kiss trails across his shoulders and down his chest. I can feel his body trying to adjust to this sudden change, and he breathes hard for a minute.

"Okay," he says after a while, "I'm ready."

"You're sure?" I ask.

He nods. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

Slowly and carefully, I pump my fingers in and out of him, occasionally grazing his prostate, making him involuntarily buck against my hand and moan. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't enjoying it. "If only you could see what I see," I tell him. "It's beautiful." He moans quietly in response.

After a while of this, when I feel that he's as prepared as he could ever be, I pull my hand out. "This is it, baby. You're doing amazing. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you this isn't going to hurt, because it will, at least a little bit. But I'll go slowly, and if you can relax and take some deep breaths the pain will be over quickly, I promise. And you can stop me whenever you want if it's too much."

Jasper nods silently, and I make sure I'm well lubricated before positioning myself at his entrance. As gently as possible, I slowly push forward until the head of my cock is buried inside of him. He cries out, fisting the sheets, but doesn't tell me to stop. Though I resist the urge to just thrust into him, finally feeling this sends a shudder through my body. I give him a bit of a breather.

"The first part is always the hardest," I tell him. "You've gotten through the worst."

"Ed," Jasper pants, "I want you to keep going. Don't stop unless I use one of the words."

I nod and push myself further, trying to be as gentle as possible. Jasper yells, and it's clear he's in pain, but he doesn't tell me to stop. I murmur to him soothingly, and when there's only about two inches left, he calls out, "Yellow."

I stop immediately, not wanting to push him farther than he's willing to go. I have to distract myself from the feeling of being inside him, so instead I focus on helping him through the pain.

"Ed, I'm s-so full," he whimpers. "I don't know if I can take any more."

I know the feeling, remembering it from my first time, but I also know that he physically _can_ finish this, and that he'll be disappointed if he doesn't. "It's okay, Jazz. We can stop here if you want, but there's really not that much more. It's up to you. I won't be upset either way."

He considers the options for a moment. "Physically, can I do it?" he asks.

"Yes, but you don't have to."

"No," he says. "Do it, please."

I push forward again until I am fully seated within him. "Oh, Jazz," I whisper, "I wish you could see this. It's so beautiful. How're you doing?"

He's still breathing hard, but he's taking deeper breaths and slowly relaxing. "Okay. It's starting to hurt less. I've never felt filled like this before. It feels so good."

"You think that's good, you should feel what I'm feeling right now," I laugh. "Is it okay if I start to move?"

Jasper nods vigorously. "Please."

I slowly pull out a bit before thrusting back in a little faster. He seems to take that well, so the next time I change the angle a bit, pull almost completely out, and then slam back in hard, hitting his prostate. His back arches off the bed and he moans loudly.

"Fuck…Ed," he mumbles. "Harder…please!"

My thrusts get faster and harder each time, spurred on by Jasper's requests. Soon he's rocking back against me, matching my rhythm. His moans and whimpers get louder and more desperate as he nears his climax.

"Oh, Edward…fuck...I'm gonna…ah! I…fuck! I'm gonna…" he moans.

I lean up close to his ear, running my tongue along the soft skin behind it, earning me another string of expletives. "Oh God, Jazz. I wish you could see this," I whisper in his ear. "The way your body takes all of me in…it's so hot."

"Fuck! Ed…" he moans again.

I lean close to his ear again. "Let go, honey. I want to see you lose control. I want to see what I've done to you. I want to see that beautiful body trembling and feel you clenching around me as you orgasm. Cum for me baby."

That's all it takes for Jasper to let go, and it truly is beautiful. I can feel his entrance contract around me, squeezing me tight as the first wave hits him. I bite down hard on his neck, which only seems to intensify the pleasure running through him. The sticky white cum sprays across his chest and abdomen, and I pump his cock with one hand, getting out every last drop. When he's done, his inner walls release my still-hard cock, and he eyes it mischievously.

"Why don't you let me help you with that?" he asks. It only takes a few strokes from his warm hand before I spill all over my own chest. I lie back next to Jasper and close my eyes, enjoying the sensation. Soon, I feel a shift in the bed. When I open my eyes again, Jasper is kneeling in between my legs, cleaning up the mess with his tongue. I almost faint dead away from the sensation, and he knows it too. He smiles at me and continues his cleaning. When he's done I turn the tables, kneeling over him to clean him off. I notice that he's got a spot left on his jaw, and I slowly lean up and lick it off. He shivers lightly before pressing his lips to mine. Soon his tongue is probing gently into my mouth, and I can taste both of us together.

After a while, I pull away. "So how was that for a first time?" I smirk.

Jasper just laughs and pulls me down for another kiss.

* * *

**YAY LEMONS! I really do enjoy writing them, but again, I have little experience in this area, so please review and let me know how I did! Love ya **

**~TheSongSmith**


	30. Romance in the Air

**Hello all! Happy Valentine's Day! This is really mostly a Valentine's Day gift for you. There's some plot and romance at the beginning, then a rather long lemon, then some fluff. Because really, isn't that what Valentine's Day is all about?**

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**JPOV**

Edward decided to take me out on the town tonight. He takes me to a fancy restaurant, complete with background piano player and hand holding. He's acting strange, but I just can't figure out what's got him so nervous.

Back at home, he says he wants to show me something. We both mount horses and I follow him through the woods around the ranch. After a while, we reach a small clearing. There's a small lake, and there's a blanket set up nearby. On the blanket sits two glasses and a bottle of wine. The sun is slowly setting behind the lake, and I think once again that I landed the most romantic guy ever.

Edward excitedly helps me off my horse and leads me over to the blanket, but he doesn't sit down. Instead, he pushes a button on a speaker I didn't notice before, and soft jazz drifts through the air.

"Would you…would you dance with me?" he asks nervously holding out a hand.

"I'd love to."

We sway lightly to the music, but I can tell Edward didn't bring me all this way to dance. As the sky lights up with bright streaks of orange, Edward pulls away.

"Jasper, I have something to say."

I wait patiently for him to begin.

"I know that we haven't known each other for very long, but, from the moment I saw you, I knew you were something special. You make me feel something that I've never felt before, and even though I brought you here to take care of you, you've taken care of me too. I feel this connection to you that I just can't explain, and it's only gotten stronger every day."

He takes a deep breath and continues. "Once, when I was little, I asked Carlisle how you know when you were in love. He told me that you know when you're in love with someone when you realize that you can't imagine life without them. When you were taken away from me, I completely shut down. I just didn't think life could go on without you. That was when I knew that my feelings for you were the real thing. And I personally think that love has a lot to do with trusting someone else completely. You've showed me that so many times, and each time I just fell harder for you. You have no idea how much it meant to me that you trusted me with your real first time. And now I'm trusting you with my heart, because you're the only one worthy of it."

Slowly, Edward goes down on one knee in front of me, and I realize what he's doing. "I am completely and totally in love with you, Jasper. Nothing could ever change that, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He pulls a small box from his breast pocket and opens it. The bright rays of the falling sun glint off of the ring inside.

"Jasper Whitlock," he says shakily, "Will you marry me?"

I'm speechless for a few moments, still processing everything. If you had asked me six months ago if I ever thought this would happen, I'd have laughed. But now the man I love is kneeling in front of me, waiting for an answer.

"I…wow." I take a moment to collect myself. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you."

A bright smile lights up his face as he removes the ring from the box and slides it onto my finger. He tugs me down to the blanket and I capture his mouth in a passionate kiss. "I love you so much, Ed," I whisper softly against his lips.

I love you too, Jazz," he says, handing me a glass of wine. We snuggle together and watch the last of the sun disappear beyond the horizon, then meander our way back to the house.

Edward holds the door open for me, and then closes it behind us. In the moment his attention is somewhere else, I manage to flip him and push him up against the door. I kiss him hard, and he kisses back curiously. When I pull back to look at him, I see pleasant surprise in his eyes.

"What are you up to?" he asks inquisitively.

"Well, you realize that every time we've ever had sexual contact, the focus was on me. I think it's your turn."

He raises an eyebrow at me.

"What you did to me the other day…you made me feel incredible. I want to make you feel the same way. That is, if you're comfortable with me doing it…" I say uncertainly.

There's a spark in his eyes as he catches on. "I would love nothing more."

I smirk at him. "Alright then. Upstairs. Now."

He gives me a cheeky grin. "Yes, sir." He salutes as he hurries up the stairs. I follow him up.

In the bedroom, he turns to face me, and I push him back onto the bed, leaning over him to capture his mouth again as I fight with the buttons of his dress shirt. Having finally rid him of it, I pull down his pants and boxers in one swift motion. I take a step back to admire the naked form in front of me. A blush starts at the tips of Edward's ears and travels all the way down to his chest.

"Beautiful," I whisper. It only makes him flush darker. I lean over him again, knees on the outsides of his hips, hands up by his shoulders. "How far do you want this to go?" I ask gently.

He blushes redder still as a small shiver runs through him. "As far as you want to take me," he murmurs.

I have to fight back a moan. "You should know that I don't really know what I'm doing when it comes to this kind of thing," I warn him. As much as I want to do this for him, I don't want to mess everything up.

"The only way you'll learn is by doing it, right?" he replies calmly. "Don't worry so much, Jazz. It'll come naturally; just do what feels right."

I nod thoughtfully. "Okay, but you have to promise me you'll tell me if I'm doing something wrong. I don't want to hurt you."

Edward smiles reassuringly. "I promise. And, if it makes you feel better, I'll use the safe words we used before if I need you to stop, alright?"

I smile and kiss his lips again in reply before traveling along his jaw. I lick and suck on the soft spot behind his ear, making him gasp. His fingers tangle in my hair as I trail soft kisses down his neck. When I reach his collarbone I suck on it hard, leaving a dark purple mark.

"There; now everyone will know you're _mine_," I whisper in his ear. He shudders in response, unable to form words.

I slowly lick and suck on first one nipple, then the other. Remembering what he did to me that first time, I bite down slowly and gently on one. Edward hisses and moans quietly. Taking it as a sign of encouragement, I move to the other one and bite down harder.

"Jasper! Fuck!" he yells, squirming under me.

I chuckle quietly and continue my path down his chest and stomach, licking and nipping at every inch of skin I can get my hands on. I occasionally suck on a patch of skin, leaving more dark love bites scattered across his body, marking him as mine. He mewls softly after each one, knowing that they won't fade for days, and he seems to be enjoying the idea of belonging to me.

I make my way down to his hips, kissing and licking on each side. Edward writhes beneath me, trying to get friction where he so desperately needs it. He tries to reach down to touch himself, but I grab his wrists and pin them over his head with one hand. He whines in response.

"Not yet, my love," I tell him gently.

"Jasper, p-please," he whimpers, "I-I need y-you…"

I kiss him softly again. "Tell me what you need, baby. Tell me what I can do for you."

He whimpers desperately, trying to force the words out. "I-I…I need you t-to…I need y-you to suck my c-cock!" he growls.

I laugh lightly. "Oh, is that all?"

"Please…p-please, Jazz…help me…" he pleads.

Part of me wants to listen to the delicious sound of him begging for release for a while, but the other part of me wants to see him be undone by me.

Looking up at his face, I can see how desperate he is. It's satisfying to know that I'm responsible for that, but I think he's had enough teasing for one day.

His eyes lock onto mine, and I don't break eye contact as I slowly run my tongue up the underside of his shaft. He practically yelps at the sensation. I tease around the head for a while, earning me a string of moans and whimpers that grow more desperate the longer I go.

He throws his head back, breathing hard. I take his moment of unawareness to quickly swallow his entire length. Edward howls in surprise and pleasure, back arching off the bed. In fact, if I hadn't been holding onto him, he might have fallen straight off. I relax the back of my throat as much as possible and take him in until I feel him hit the back. He moans loudly, and I can tell he's not going to last long.

I swallow around him a few times causing him to writhe about as his moans get louder and more frantic. I bob my head up and down a few times, humming gently. The vibrations make him gasp.

"Jazz, I…I'm gonna cum," he whimpers.

I take him in as far as I can, and it pushes him over the edge. He screams my name as he cums hard down my throat. I swallow everything he gives me, sucking gently to make sure I get every last drop. He thrashes about in the throws of his orgasm, and I do my best to limit his movement enough that he doesn't hurt himself.

When he's done, he stills beneath me, trembling and trying to catch his breath. When he's got himself mostly under control, he opens his eyes and looks up at me. "I thought you said you didn't have any experience with this sort of thing?" he teases.

"I don't," I say, leaning down to kiss him softly.

He chuckles. "You could have fooled me." He looks down at my lap, surprised at my lack of an erection. "When did that happen?" he asks curiously.

I laugh. "You were a bit too far gone to notice, but it didn't exactly take a lot of time after watching you."

He blushes a light pink again, and I can't help but smile. "Anyone ever tell you how adorable you are when you're embarrassed?"

He giggles.

"Well," I say, "I think we could both use a shower before bed, don't you?" I wink at him, and he takes the hint.

"I think that's an excellent idea," he replies, "But perhaps a bath instead?"

"A bath it is then."

I help Edward onto his feet, and we head into the bathroom together. I start running the water while Edward grabs towels, soap, and shampoo from under the sink. When the tub is full, we climb in on opposite sides, facing each other. He motions me closer, holding up the bar of soap. I scoot nearer to him, and he carefully cleans me up. I do the same for him. Neither of us have enough energy to do anything else tonight, but it's still nice to just be with one another.

Edward closes his eyes and leans his head back against the wall. I take advantage of the moment and lean up to kiss him softly. "You know," I tell him, "I'd originally intended to do more than that."

He laughs quietly. "Next time," he says simply, "And believe me, I can't wait for next time."

Something clouds his face for a moment. "Hey Jazz, can I ask you something?"

I nod. "Sure, Ed. Is something wrong?"

He shakes his head. "No, everything is great. It's just that I was wondering…would you ever be interested in having a relationship with your family?"

It's a tough question, and I have to think about it for a while. "If they were willing to accept me and my way of life, then I'd like to. But I don't think they'll ever come around to accepting the fact that I'm gay. I told you how well it went over last time. Why do you ask?"

"Well," he says gently, "We're getting married, and I was thinking that maybe they should know. Maybe even come to the ceremony. I mean, it's up to you; I'll stand by your decision either way. But if there was a way we could get them to accept who you are, would you want them to be there?"

I consider it. "Yes. If they accepted me and you and what I've chosen, then I'd love to have them there. Especially my little sister. Rosie never had a problem with my orientation, but my parents kept her from talking to me after they found out. But it doesn't matter, because I don't think they'd ever accept it."

Edward contemplates this for a moment. "We could try. I mean, there's no harm in giving it a shot. Worst case scenario, things end up exactly like they are right now; best case scenario, your family will be behind you. And I was thinking that maybe Carlisle and Esme could try talking to them. They weren't thrilled when I first told them. They were worried that it would just make my life harder. But then they decided that they wanted me to be happy, and if it was guys I would be happy with, then they didn't care. Maybe, if they shared their experience with your parents, they'd come around."

"Well," I reply, "It's like you said; there's no harm in trying. Who knows?"

Edward smiles happily. I know that he wants this for me. "Alright. Well, we have to tell my family about our engagement. We could ask them about it then. When do you want to tell them?"

I think about it. "Can we go over tomorrow?" I ask.

He nods. "Sure. But are you sure you're prepared to handle my sister's reaction? Because she'll be off the wall."

I laugh at this, imagining little Alice's reaction. "I think I'll be fine."

We both climb out of the tub and towel each other off. "Ali and Esme will want to start planning the whole thing immediately," he warns.

"Better them than us," I reply, "And if they want to plan it, it's one less thing we'll have to do."

Edward grins. "True."

We climb into bed, side by side, and cuddle up together. I'm getting married to the most incredible man I've met. No matter how many times I repeat that in my head, it still seems too good to be true. But then I look at the ring on my hand, and the man next to me, and I think that maybe miracles happen once in a while.

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**As I've said before, please, please, please review! It makes me feel like people really like my writing, and it's awesome. As always, thank you for reading!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	31. Sharing the News

**I don't really have much to say about this one. But WEEEEEEEEEEEE!**

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Side by side, Edward and I get ready to announce our engagement. He looks into the mirror and smiles slightly.

"Damn, Jazz," he teases, "You really did a number on me, didn't you?" he motions to the marks on his chest, grinning.

"It was the heat of the moment," I laugh, "And don't act like you didn't like it. I heard you."

He laughs too. "Well yeah, but now I have to find a shirt that'll cover this!"

I walk over to him and kiss one of the marks lovingly. "Why cover them?" I ask. "I want people to know you're taken."

He brings my chin up to kiss me on the lips. "People, sure. But do _you_ want to explain this to my parents?"

I laugh again and start dressing myself as I watch him try shirt after shirt until he's satisfied with the results. I'd be lying if I said I didn't enjoy it.

In the car, Edward keeps a tight grip on my hand. "Nervous?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "Excited."

Alice opens the door and throws her arms around both of us before we even get a chance to come in. "Nice to see you too," Edward chuckles. She pulls us into the house, where the rest of the family is waiting. We greet them all and take a seat on one of the couches.

"So?" Alice squeals impatiently, "What's the news?"

Emmett put one large hand over her mouth to stop her from going on, and motions for us to speak with the other. Edward looks at me, grinning, and takes my hand.

"Well, Jasper and I decided…" he starts, then pauses. He looks at me to continue.

"We've decided that we want to…get married." I finish.

A collective gasp goes up from the family. There is silence for a moment before Alice squeals again, quickly followed by a merry ruckus from the rest of the family as they all congratulate us.

Carlisle and Esme come over to hug us. Edward winces slightly, and I smirk and raise an eyebrow at him. He playfully glares at me, as if to say, _this is your fault._

When the excitement dies down a bit, they start asking questions. "When do you think you want to do the wedding?" Esme asks.

"I don't really have a preference. Jazz?" Edward turns to me for an answer.

I think for a moment. "Spring, I think. Possibly early May?" I like spring the best out of all the seasons, and it'll give us enough time to plan.

He nods. "Sounds perfect." He looks at me questioningly for a second, wanting to know if I wanted to ask Esme and Alice to plan everything. I nod, grinning.

"We were wondering," he says casually to Esme, "if you and Alice wanted to be our wedding planners."

Alice jumps up at this. "Yes, yes, yes! I love weddings!"

Esme laughs. "Don't worry, I'll reel her in when necessary," she says, winking conspiratorially at us.

Alice and Emmett go off to do something, leaving Carlisle and Esme with us. Edward looks at me and nods.

"We also had something else we wanted to discuss with you," I say. They look at me curiously, and I continue. "Edward and I talked, and…I'd like my family to be at the wedding, but they never quite got over the fact of my sexuality. I haven't talked to them in years, but I really want them to be a part of this. We thought that maybe, if you guys talked to them, they might come around."

Carlisle shares a look with Esme, then nods towards me. "We'd love to try to help Jasper. But I hope you won't be too disappointed if it doesn't work."

"I know that there's a chance they'll never accept who I am," I say, "But we've discussed it, and there's really nothing to lose. It would mean a lot to me if they were there, but if they aren't then I'll still have a family behind me."

Esme smiles at that. "And we'll always be behind you, no matter what," she says gently before turning to Carlisle. "He's right, you know. There really is nothing to lose."

He nods again. "Alright, how can we help?" I give him my mothers email address. Well, the one she used before I left. I'm hoping she still uses it. Carlisle and Esme agree to send her an email to tell her that I'm alright, that they're looking after me, and that I'd like to talk if she's interested. Then all we have to do is wait.

"Thank you for doing this," I say.

They smile at me. "It's clear it means a lot to you," Carlisle says, "And we want you to be happy. Of course we'll help."

We stick around to chat for a while. Suddenly, Edward looks at his watch. "We'd better get going, Jazz, or we'll lose our reservation for lunch."

This is the first I've heard about this, but I nod anyway. We say our goodbyes and head back out to the car, arm in arm. "We're going out to lunch?" I ask.

He smiles back at me. "Yeah. I kind of wanted to celebrate and talk about some stuff."

I manage to hold off the questions until we're seated at the restaurant. "So," I ask, as we look over the menu, "What did you want to talk about?"

"Well, you know I'll have to go back to work soon. I know you said that you want to go into nursing, and there's a lot of nursing programs around, but I was wondering if maybe, while you were waiting to apply, you'd like to work at the hospital. There's an open part-time position for someone at the front desk."

I consider this. It does sound like the best of both worlds; being able to be near Edward while he works. Plus, I could learn a little bit.

"I figured you'd have to go back eventually," I tell him. "In fact, I expected them to want you back sooner than this."

He reddens slightly, and I know there's something he hasn't told me. "Well," he says slowly, "I was treating a patient, so they allowed it."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "For this long?"

He smiles at me. "Jasper, you healed almost twice as fast as anyone thought you would. They thought it would take longer that this to get back on your feet, both physically and emotionally. So I may have…not told them the exact truth about your progress. And then you were injured again, so I had to be here…And they agreed that it was in your best interest as a patient to not have to be in the hospital…" he says.

I laugh. "So basically, you kept things from them so that you could stay with me? Why?"

He flushes again. "Well, at first you needed me there. You didn't want me to go, and how could I have left you in that kind of state?" he says quietly. "And then I fell in love with you, and I knew that it would take a lot of time for you to trust me enough to be with me, so I figured that the more time we spent together, the better it would be. And then you did trust me, and you loved me back, and I didn't want to go."

He pauses, looking up uncertainly. "You're not mad, are you?" he asks nervously.

I reach out and stroke his cheek lightly. "Of course I'm not mad," I say reassuringly. "How could I be? Because of what you did, I'm sitting in a restaurant with my fiancé, a man I love and who truly loves me back. What's there to be mad about?"

He smiles at me again as the waiter comes by to drop off our food. I motion Edward closer, and he leans toward me. "But you know," I whisper in his ear, "I never did get to finished what I'd planned last night. I'm not done with you yet."

I grin as a small shiver runs through him, and he turns pink. For the rest of the meal he blushes every time he meets my eyes.

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**So how are you guys liking this so far? I think it'll be fun to write a wedding. Give me your feedback in a review! Virtual cookies to all reviewers *passes out virtual cookies***


	32. Training Day

**Hello there dear readers! So, I'm not exactly sure where this one came from. I just started writing and it kind of happened, but I like it. Read away!  
**

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**JPOV**

"So," Edward says when we're on our way home, "Since mom and Alice are going to be asking you this anyway, what's your favorite flower?"

I laugh a little as I consider this. "I'd say cherry blossoms, tiger lillies, and sunset roses."

Edward looks impressed. "Why's that?" he asks.

"I don't know. They're just…beautiful." I tell him. He nods thoughtfully as we pull into the driveway.

"How about you?" I ask.

"I'd have to agree with you," he replies. "I was always partial to those."

I smile a little to myself, filing that information away for later use. I look at him, grinning wider as I think about what I'm going to do.

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Just thinking about all the things I'm planning on doing tonight." I say as casually as possible.

I'm thrilled to see a little shiver run through him. "Oh? Like what?" he asks.

I laugh and kiss him lightly. "You'll find out later," I say simply. "But right now, I'm going out to the barn. I want to start training Shoshana."

He nods. "Mind if I tag along?"

"Of course not," I smile.

"Okay then. I'll be there in a minute."

Out in the barn, I find myself in front of Shoshana's stall. She eyes me carefully.

"Miss me, girl?" I murmur as I extend a hand to her. She cautiously nudges it and huffs. "Yeah, I missed you too."

Just then, Edward comes into the barn. "You know," he says, "She always liked you more than she liked me."

I smile. "Well, maybe we can get her to like you too. Come here."

I pull him to stand in front of me. "Alright," I tell him, "No sudden movements; you'll scare her. Now, hold your hand out, flat, palm up." He follows my instructions. "Alright now, here's how you properly introduce yourself to a horse."

I take him by the wrist and slowly guide his hand towards Shoshana. She backs up a few steps, eyeing it warily.

"See, I told you," he starts, but I shush him.

"Give it a minute. You're a total stranger to her. Once she knows you're not going to hurt her, she'll come to you. Just give her time."

As if to emphasize my point, Shoshana takes first one, then another cautious step toward Edward's outstretched hand. Carefully, she leans down to sniff it. Edward's arm reflexively tries to pull back, but my hand around his wrist keeps it in place.

"It's okay," I tell him gently, "She's just trying to learn who you are. Relax, or you'll make her nervous."

I feel his muscles loosen under my grip, and this seems to be enough to soothe Shoshana's doubts about him. She nuzzles his palm gently, letting out a small huff.

"See?" I say, "That means she likes you. All you had to do was introduce yourself in a way she could understand."

"Wow," he breathes. "That was incredible. How'd you learn so much about horses?"

"My grandparents lived in Texas. They owned a ranch. Rosie and I used to spend summers there, and they taught us both how to ride and handle horses."

He nods thoughtfully. "So that's why you're so good at this."

I laugh. "Yeah, I suppose so." I carefully release his wrist. "I think she'll let you pet her now. Just don't spook her."

Slowly, Edward lifts his hand and places it on her forehead. She nickers softly and leans into the touch as he gently pets her.

"She definitely likes you," I tell him. "Maybe you can help me." I grab the bridle hanging on the wall. "Keep petting her. I want to see if she'll accept the bit."

He moves over a little to pet her neck. I let her sniff my hand before slowly bringing the harness towards her. She sniffs at it curiously, but, surprisingly, lets me put the bit in her mouth and fasten the harness.

"Well, someone's trained her. At least a little," I tell him. "But if it's the same people who made her so afraid, then we're going to have a lot of work cut out for us."

I clip a lead line to the harness and unlock the stall door. With a little tug of the rope, she follows me out of the barn and into one of the fenced-in rings. Edward follows and locks the gate behind us.

"How much do you think they taught her?" he asks.

"I don't know, but I can tell you that they didn't teach her properly." I reply.

I carefully go to one side of her and pull gently on the reigns. When she turns her head to that side, I give her a treat. She does the same on the other side. They taught her how to respond to the reigns, but I wonder if they ever taught her to carry a rider.

I quickly grab a saddle and blanket from inside the barn. Though she lets me put it on, it seems to unsettle her.

"Well," I tell Edward, "They never taught her to be ridden. She's not familiar with a saddle."

"How can you tell?" he asks.

"Look at her ears. See how they're swiveling around, and a little low? That means she's uncomfortable with something. She doesn't know what it is or if it's dangerous."

He nods. "So how do we fix that?"

I hand him the reigns. "Just like you did with me: slowly. Why don't you walk her around the ring a few times so she gets used to it?"

He leads her around, and I watch as she grows accustomed to the feeling. After a while, she seems to decide that it's not dangerous and ignores it. That fact that she adjusts so quickly makes me think that someone tried to do this with her before. I tell Edward to bring her back to me.

"You see how her ears are forward and up now?" I ask. He nods. "That means that she's comfortable and paying more attention to you than to the saddle. That's a good thing."

He nods as he rubs her head gently.

"You should stand towards the edge of the ring for this next part," I tell him.

He looks at me curiously. "Why?"

"Because I want to see if she'll accept a rider, and if she bolts I don't want her running you down."

He nods and gives her one final pat, but hesitates. "Be careful, Jasper. I don't want you getting hurt."

"I'll be careful, I promise." He nods and moves away.

"Alright girl," I murmur to Shoshana, "Here we go." I put one foot in a stirrup and test my weight a few times before sitting in the saddle. She flicks her ears around curiously and tenses a bit, but she's not throwing me off like I thought she might. I give her a treat and wait patiently as she adjusts.

Edward breathes a sigh of relief, and I laugh. "I'm fine," I tell him, "I know what I'm doing."

"I know, but that doesn't mean I can't worry about you," he replies.

"Well stop worrying and come over here," I say, dismounting. He comes over and kisses me lightly.

"Done with training for today?" he asks.

I nod. "Yeah, I don't want to push her. She did a lot today," I say, leading her out of the ring and back out to the barn.

He looks at me thoughtfully as I untack her. "What is it?" I ask.

He shakes his head a little. "Oh, nothing. It's just…I think you'll make a great nurse someday."

I feel my face heat up. "Thanks."

He looks at his watch. "I'm going to get started on dinner," he says.

"Alright. I'm just going to clean her up and then I'll be in." I kiss him and watch him walk towards the house. Shoshana snorts at me.

"I know, I know," I chuckle, "I like him too."

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**So, what do you think? You guys know how much I love your reviews, so please hit that little button and mae me smile!**

~TheSongSmith


	33. The Student Becomes the Teacher

**I apologize for the wait on this one; I've been extremely busy, but there's a whole lot of lemony goodness in here, so yay!**

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JPOV

"So Jazz," Edward says as we eat, "I know you said you wanted to go into nursing, but have you considered being a veterinary technician? They're like nurses, but for animals. And you were so good with Shoshana. You really have a gift."

I consider this for a minute. "Sounds like something I could do," I tell him. "I'll look into it."

He looks at me curiously for a moment. "Something wrong, Jazz?" he asks, concerned.

"No, everything's fine. I'm just thinking, that's all."

"About what?" he asks.

I sigh. "Well, I told you before that I hadn't finished what I planned for you last night. But, the thing is, I've never…done _that_ before, and I'm worried that I'll be bad at it, or hurt you."

Edward reaches over and takes my hand. "That's why you look so upset?" he asks. "Jasper, you realize that no one is born with experience, right?" I nod as he continues. "Everyone learns by doing it, love. You're no different."

But I shake my head. "It's not that I'm upset that I don't have experience. I'm worried that my inexperience will cause me to hurt you. And that's something I never want to do."

Edward raises my chin, forcing me to look him in the eye. "You won't, Jasper," he says softly. "I know you, and I know you wouldn't purposely hurt me. I'll walk you through it the first time, if that'll help."

I give him a small, grateful smile. "Okay then. But you have to promise me you'll tell me truthfully how I'm doing."

He nods. "Deal. You know, you could have just told me that this was upsetting you, Jazz. We could have decided this earlier and saved you the time it took for you to worry about it."

"I know, Ed," I tell him quietly, "But I was a little…embarrassed about it."

He leans in and kisses my forehead softly. "You don't have to be embarrassed in front of me. I love you."

I capture his lips with mine and throw my arms around his neck, pulling him closer.

"What do you say we move this into the bedroom?" he whispers in my ear.

I nod vigorously. I expect him to break away to go upstairs, but instead he just picks me up, my legs wrapped around his waist, and carries me. Upstairs, we both tumble onto the bed before coming up for air.

Edward reaches over to the nightstand and grabs a condom and the bottle of lube he keeps there. He hands them to me before scrambling to pull off his own shirt as well as mine. I fumble with his belt before finally loosening it and pull off his jeans and underwear, dropping them to the floor. My pants and boxers quickly follow, and I once again press my lips to his.

I shift my weight forward, and Edward lies down beneath me, happily submitting to my will. I trail soft kisses all along his jaw and neck, paying special attention to those spots I've found him most responsive to. I continue downward, kissing and licking everywhere besides the one place he really wants my mouth.

When he realizes this, he whines softly. "Jasper, please…"

"Alright," I murmur, still peppering kisses across his chest and stomach, "What do I do first?"

Flustered as he is, he manages to get an instruction out. "Lube three of your fingers," he tells me, and watches me do it. "Now take your pointer finger and slowly move it around my hole. Make sure it's nice and slick, and add a little pressure each time, just like I did with you."

Gently, I run my finger around his tight hole, feeling the muscles quiver beneath me. Edward lets out a small sigh as he lays his head back against the pillow, eyes closed.

"Now do that a couple more times, then slowly push it in. I'll tell you if I need you to stop. If I don't, then just keep going."

I nod, not that he can see it at the moment, and take a deep breath. I make a few more passes, adding pressure, then slowly press against the muscle until it relaxes enough to allow me past the first resistant ring. Edward gasps, but doesn't tell me to stop, so I press further until my whole finger is inside him. It's only then that I allow myself to anticipate how amazing his hot, smooth walls will feel wrapped around my cock, and I struggle to keep myself under control.

I watch his face for any sign of pain, and, though his eyes are still closed, he doesn't seem hurt. "Edward," I ask anyway, "was that okay?"

"Perfect, he whispers, smiling. "Now just slowly move that one in and out for a while. I'll tell you when to put another one in."

I carefully pump my finger in and out while I go back to kissing him. The angle I end up in when I lean forward to capture his lips once again presses both of our cocks between us, and we both moan into each other's mouths at the contact.

"Oh God, Ed," I whisper in his ear, "You're so tight. I can't wait to be buried inside you."

He responds with a whimper. "Okay," he breathes, "Add another."

I remember how he tried to distract me from the uncomfortable initial stretch of the second and third fingers, and I want to do the same for him. I attend to his exposed Adam's apple, kissing, licking, and sucking on it, until I feel him relax. Then, not pausing in my ministrations on his neck, I press back in with two fingers. He hisses slightly, but it's followed by a loud moan as he focuses on the pleasure instead of the pain. When both fingers are seated deeply, I pause, giving him time to adjust.

"Still alright?" I ask cautiously.

He nods, panting, and pulls me down for another kiss. "Oh, Jasper," he whispers against my cheek, "I love you so much. You're always trying to protect me." He kisses me again before looking up into my eyes. "Thanks for the distraction. It helped."

I smile back at him. Slowly, never taking my eyes off his face, I start moving in and out again, feeling the muscles yield to the pressure. It takes a bit of searching, but I manage to find his prostate. When I push into it on the next thrust, Edward screams my name, his back arching off the bed.

"Fuck! Jasper!" he yells, and I chuckle as I continue to open him up. A guttural moan escapes his lips, sounding from somewhere deep in his chest. "The third. Please Jasper, I need you in me soon. Add the third finger," he pleads.

This time I focus my attention on his chest, making him writhe and moan beneath me. His hands come up to rest in my hair, his grip tightening as I press into him. I carefully bite down on one nipple, and, as Edward arches up, I quickly push all three fingers inside him. I once again wait patiently for him to relax a bit before slowly pumping my fingers in and out. Soon enough, he's ready.

He manages to remain calm enough to instruct. He quickly tears the foil of the condom package and puts it on me. I groan as his skin makes contact with mine. "Okay," he says, holding out his hand, "Squirt some lube in my hand." I do as told. Edward wraps his hand around my cock, and I moan loudly as I feel the cold lube through the latex. He carefully spreads it around, making sure I'm fully coated, before positioning me at his entrance. "Okay, when I tell you to, slowly push in."

Edward takes a deep breath. "Go," he whispers.

I try to be as gentle as I can, but I can still see that he's hurting. He gasps as the head of my cock breaches his entrance and I lean down and kiss him passionately, hoping to distract him from the pain. He whimpers into my mouth, his long fingers clawing at my back.

I stop, wanting to let him adjust to this a little at a time, but he pulls away to look me in the eye. "Do it quickly," he requests. "Please Jazz. Just push in all the way so we can get this part over with."

I nod against his shoulder. "Alright. Just hang in there."

He brings a hand up behind my neck, silently encouraging me. I thrust in quickly until my hips are flush with his. Edward cries out, even though I know he's doing his best not to, and clings onto me tightly.

"Shh, it's alright," I murmur. "The painful part is over. Just breathe and relax." I go back to kissing him, stroking his hair lightly as I feel him slowly loosen up underneath me.

"Oh…fuck, Jazz," he moans quietly, "You have no idea how long I've wanted this…wanted to feel you inside me." He pauses, grinning up at me. "And I didn't do all this just so you could become a statue. Are you going to move, or aren't you?"

I laugh into his skin. "As you wish." Slowly, I pull out a little bit and sink back in. A small, happy noise escapes him. I change my angle a bit and pull out farther before thrusting in faster, just grazing his prostate. He whimpers softly, encouraging me. I repeat the action, but this time press harder into the gland. Edward cries out, his back arching off the bed. I'm pretty sure I heard foreign curse words in there somewhere, and though I didn't understand the meaning, the sentiment was clear.

I gradually increase the speed and intensity, spurred on by Edward's moans. He's quickly falling apart in my arms and I love the fact that I've reduced him to this whimpering, moaning mass. I can tell that he's not going to last much longer, but I'm enjoying the frenzy he's in.

Slowly, I run my tongue up the underside of his cock. He shudders in response and threads his fingers through my hair, tugging slightly. I carefully take in just the head of his cock and suck hard, hollowing out my cheeks, which drives him into madness.

"Jazz…" he pants, "I can't…I'm gonna…" he tries desperately to get the words out, but he's too wound up to speak properly.

I hum lightly in order to convey my understanding, and it pushes him over the edge. His grip in my hair tightens as he cries out my name and arches up off the bed. His inner walls constrict around me and I lose control myself. When I'm done, I collapse on top of him, our shallow breaths mingling in the few inches between us. Edward reaches down to stroke my hair as our breathing slowly returns to normal.

"Jasper," he whispers, "That was incredible. Thank you."

I stroke his cheek lightly. "Ed, can I ask you about something?" I ask. He nods, and I continue. "I thought you were the experienced one, but that certainly didn't seem like it."

He holds me to him tightly. "The truth is, before today I'd only bottomed once in my entire life. It was my first sexual experience, years and years ago, and it was terrible. The guy I was with… he didn't care about making it good for me too. It hurt like hell and after that I never let anyone top me. I was always too afraid."

He winces slightly at the memory and continues. "But then you came along, and I knew you were different. I trust you. I'm not afraid anymore."

I lean down and kiss him tenderly. "I'm thrilled that you trust me this much, Ed, but…why didn't you tell me this before?"

He sighs lightly. "Because I didn't want to freak you out or make you feel like you had to walk on eggshells the whole time. I knew that, no matter what, you'd be attentive to me, but I didn't want you to hold back."

I nod, pondering this. "Was it as good as you hoped it would be?"

He laughs. "Better then I'd hoped."

"Did I hurt you?" I ask, somewhat nervously.

Edward shakes his head. "You were amazing. I mean, yes, some parts of it hurt, but that's just how it works; nothing you did. You were, however, very skilled at taking my mind off of it." He smiles, holding my face between his hands. "You did everything perfectly, so stop worrying," he tells me, kissing me gently.

Eventually, I gather the strength to move, and carefully climb off of him. He whines quietly, reaching out for me. "I'll be back in just a second," I reassure him.

I go into the bathroom and wet a washcloth before returning. He lies with his head back and eyes closed, and he looks more relaxed than I've seen him in a long time. I gently start cleaning him off. He purrs softly in appreciation.

When I finish, he opens his eyes and smiles up at me. "Anyone ever tell you you're the best fiancé ever?" he murmurs.

I laugh lightly and sit down next to him. "It's still early; do you want to do something?" I ask.

He ponders this for a moment before going over to the DVD case and searching for something. When he finds it, he puts it in the DVD player and comes back, cuddling up next to me. "This," He whispers.

I kiss him again as the light strains of "My Heart Will Go On" fill the air. "Titanic?" I ask curiously.

He blushes slightly. "What? It's a good movie!"

I hold him close as we watch. He makes it almost all the way to the end, but as the old lady throws the necklace into the sea I hear soft snoring coming from him. I eject the disk and put it away before climbing back into bed and cuddling up with his sleeping form.

* * *

**Yay lemons! And fluff! I don't know, I was in that fluffy, lemony mood and this is what happened. Plus, I really wanted Jasper to take control in this one. We're getting close to finishing the story, which is exciting and weird for me, but I promise there's at least 5 chapters left, probably more depending on how long I make them.**

**As always, please review!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	34. Early Morning Ninja Skills

**I wasn't going to put a lemon in this chapter. I really wasn't going to. But…**

**I'm going to let you lovely people in on a little secret: I never plan when I write. I just kind of sit in front of my computer and let my fingers do whatever they want. And while this often leads to absolute rubbish that shall never see the light of day, occasionally I like them enough and post them. I honestly have no more clues about what will happen then you do. It's just always been my style. Most of the time I don't even really know what I've written until I finish and read it over.**

**Now, I'd like to say that this method works for me because I really know my characters, inside and out. I'd like to think that I've established really strong and multi-dimensional characters that I don't have to manipulate to get the correct result. I just write what I think they would do and how they would behave in whatever situation they've gotten themselves into. Sometimes I feel like I have very little control over them; they have minds of their own. However, this isn't always a bad thing. I rather enjoy just writing and seeing where it will take me, and clearly you've enjoyed it too.**

**That being said, I really wasn't going to put a lemon in this chapter. I never intended to. But I sat down, and I was writing up a storm, and there was plot, and somehow I ended up with two, one being kind of different from things I've written before. Not that I think you'll mind, you guys always seem to love my lemons, but fair warning. Though they were not intended, I myself think they're pretty good, and also have bits of important stuff in them. Anyway, please let me know what you think!**

* * *

**JPOV**

Early the next morning, my cell phone rings. Edward is still asleep beside me, and I pick it up quickly so as not to wake him up. "Hello?" I whisper, trying to think of who would be calling me now.

Carlisle's smooth voice falls into my ear. "Hi, Jasper. I'm sorry, did I wake you?"

"It's alright, Carlisle. Is everything okay?"

"Everything's fine. I was just so excited that I couldn't wait to call you. I forgot that not everyone is awake at 8am."

His words confuse me as they make their slow way across my sleep-addled brain. "What are you excited about?" I ask sleepily.

I can hear the smile in his voice. "Esme and I…we just got done video chatting with your mother." He pauses to let his words sink in.

"Oh. Wow…" I say slowly. "How did it go?"

He still sounds like he's smiling. "Great, actually. We talked for a while, and she said she'd like to talk to you. She was…very relieved you were alright."

I nod on my end of the line, not that he can see it, as I think this through. I can't believe that, after all this time, this is really going to happen. Ever since I left, I've wanted to talk to my parents again. Because, even though they weren't accepting of me, I still love them. I wanted the chance to make them understand, and now I was getting the chance to change things.

I deliberate so long that Carlisle grows worried. "Jasper, are you alright?"

"Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Did you…um, did you tell her about me?"

He hesitates for a moment. "Well, we had to tell her some of it. She wanted to know how you came to know us, so we told her that you were in an abusive relationship until our son found you. We told her that he was the doctor who took care of you, and that, when he found out about your situation, he offered to help. We told her that you've been staying with him for the past few months, and that you're healthy and safe. We figured we'd leave the rest for you to tell, when you're ready. So, do you want to talk to her?"

I nod again before remembering that he can't see me. "Yeah, I'd like to talk to her." I tell him.

"Alright," he says, "Why don't you and Edward come over this afternoon? We'll tell her that you'd like to talk around 3:30, and if you want to come over earlier and talk, feel free."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. "Thanks, Carlisle. For everything. We'll be there around 3 o'clock, if that's alright."

"See you then, Jasper."

I hang up and turn to look at the still sleeping Edward beside me. Part of me wants to snuggle up to him and sleep some more, but I know that he'd want to know about this.

I reach out and gently stroke his cheek, feeling his morning stubble. His face scrunches up, but he doesn't wake up. Instead he lets out a small sigh and leans into the touch. It makes me giggle a little, and gives me an idea. Carefully, I pull the blankets off of him. "Oh you naughty boy," I whisper into his ear. It seems he slept naked last night.

He smiles a little in his sleep, and I decide to have some fun before I wake him up. I run my fingers slowly down his body, starting at his collarbone and tracing light patterns down his chest and abdomen. I place feather-light strokes up and down his sides, and he shivers and moans quietly, still asleep. I trail my fingers lightly from one hip to the other and back again, and Edward shudders under my touch, whimpering softly.

Looking down, I can see that, though he is asleep, his body is not, and his cock is quickly swelling. "Hmm, it seems someone is happy to see me," I murmur. Slowly, just barely, I trace lightly up and down the inside of his thighs. He twitches and whines, his head thrown back, and I chuckle as I kiss his overheated skin.

I reach down and wrap my fingers around his length. Edward unconsciously bucks up into my hand, and his own movement is what wakes him up. "Jazz…oh," he moans, sleep and pleasure clouding his thoughts. "Wha…what…" he struggles with coherency.

"Shh, love," I murmur to him. "Let me take care of you. Just relax, baby."

He shudders again. "Oh…o-okay," he breathes. I watch him relax and close his eyes as he surrenders to the sensations running through him. I stroke him slowly, reveling in his gasps and moans, trailing my lips over his skin.

I carefully watch the effect my actions are having on him. The fact that he wasn't properly conscious before I began seems to have made a big difference. Edward is more feral than usual. He is running on instinct and passion rather than logic, and this is an interesting twist. As much as I love my calm, rational, thoughtful Edward, this wild side is hot, and I want to commit this side of him to memory forever.

He meets each stroke of my hand with desperate, needy thrusts. When he's just about reached his breaking point, I take him into my mouth, and he screams my name so loud I think the whole town must have heard. He thrashes about in the throws of his release, and I swallow everything he gives me. Finally, he goes limp on the bed, breathing hard.

He opens one eye at me. "What did I do to deserve that?" he questions.

I laugh. "You were being adorable, that's what. I was going to wake you up, but you just smiled and sighed and snuggled into me. So I decided to see how far I could take you before you woke up." I reply matter-of-factly. "It was an experiment, of sorts."

He grins up at me. "So what were the results of this experiment?"

"You woke yourself up. I have a feeling that if you hadn't, I could have kept going for a while before you noticed."

Edward just laughs and pulls me down for a kiss. "I love you," he murmurs before looking at the clock. "But is there a reason you wanted to wake me up this early?"

It takes me a minute to remember why I was up in the first place. "Oh, yeah, there was a reason. Carlisle called. He said that they talked to my mom, and she wants to talk to me. He said to come over around 3 o' clock today. Is that alright?"

Edward nods, but concern crosses his face. "Sure, that's fine."

I gently place a finger on that crease he gets in his forehead when he frowns. "Well you don't look like its fine," I inform him. "What's wrong?"

He takes my hand from his forehead and presses a kiss into the palm. "I'm just a little worried. I know they're your family, but I don't want you to get hurt if it doesn't turn out well."

I stroke his cheek lightly. "You don't have to worry, Ed," I tell him gently, "I'll be fine. I promise. I know that this could turn out badly, but if it does I'll still have you, and that's all that matters. Sure it would be great to talk to my family again, but I won't be heartbroken if it doesn't happen. If they can't accept me for who I am then they're not worth worrying over." I pause. "Now stop frowning; it's not one of your more attractive looks."

This, at least, gets him to smile. "Much better," I tell him.

He laughs. "Come on, you," he says, pulling me down beside him, "It's too early to be awake on a Saturday." He snuggles up next to me. "And no more funny business."

I laugh again. "You love my funny business. We both know you enjoyed that."

"Well yeah, I did. But still, it's time to be sleeping. They'll be plenty of time for other things later."

"Damn right there will be," I growl into his ear, kissing the soft spot behind it.

He glares at me playfully. "Go to sleep, Jasper Whitlock, or no more sex for you. Ever!"

I pout. "That's not fair!"

He laughs and kisses my protruding bottom lip. "Is too fair!"

* * *

When I wake up next, I'm alone in the bed, but there's crashing and banging going on downstairs. I follow the sounds to the kitchen, where Edward is juggling an impossible number of things.

"Sounds like you're having a pro wrestling match down here. Fighting with the cutlery again, are you?" I tease.

He jumps at my voice before smiling. "When did you get so sneaky? You're like a ninja," he teases back.

"Well, we all have our talents. Mine just happens to be ninja skills!"

Edward sticks his tongue out at me and joins me at the counter to eat. "So what was that ninja sex about this morning? Because you know I enjoyed it, but it was extremely unexpected. Did you plan that?"

I laugh and kiss his cheek lightly. "Not originally. See, when I went to wake you up, I touched your cheek, and your reaction was so cute that I couldn't stop. So then I was just gently touching you, seeing if you would react. And you did, and you only got more adorable. And since _somebody_," I shoot a pointed look at him, "slept naked last night, I could see how turned on you were. And it was my fault, so I thought I'd just…take care of it for you." I conclude simply.

My answer makes him laugh, and he leans over to kiss me again. "Well maybe one day I'll return the favor," he whispers. "Now, we don't have to leave for another four hours. What do you want to do?"

"Well, go put on your bathing suit, darlin'," I say. Edward pouts. "You didn't think I forgot, did you?"

"But Jasperrrr," he whines.

I laugh. "Don't 'but Jasper' me. The deal was that I taught you how to swim, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."

"But you already taught me how to swim," he tries.

"I did not. I taught you how to float; that's not the same thing. Now stop your pouting and go change." Edward continues to pout. "Don't think I won't just carry you upstairs and change you myself, because I will." I add.

He smiles. "That could be fun," he teases.

"Yeah, but pouty little boys don't get to have fun," I counter. For a moment I just laugh at how fast he dashes up the stairs. Then I follow him up, changing in the room that was supposed to be mine. When I'm done, I start down the stairs. "Edward, you'd better hurry up if you want to have fun!" I call out to the closed door.

"I'm coming Jasper…Ow!" I hear his muffled voice from behind the door.

"You alright?" I ask, concerned.

The door opens with a bang, and I see Edward, his hair disheveled, rubbing his shoulder. "Yeah I just…tripped," he mumbles.

"And you hit your shoulder?" I ask, slightly bemused.

He gives me a glare as he joins me on the staircase. "Oh shut up, you. It's your fault." I raise an eyebrow at him, waiting for him to explain. He sighs. "I was trying to talk to you and get dressed at the same time, and I tripped and hit my shoulder on the bookcase, okay?" he explains, irritated.

I try not to laugh, but a traitorous giggle escapes me, and he glares at me again. "It's not funny!" he insists.

"I'm sorry, baby, but your expression was priceless." He pouts again, so I pull his hand from his shoulder and kiss the spot he was rubbing. "Better?" I ask as we reach the bottom of the stairs.

"…A little," he replies, his arms crossed.

I quickly pull him in, kissing him hard on the mouth before releasing him. "Now?" I ask.

He finally cracks a grin. "Better. Do I get a reward for being good?" he asks hopefully.

I consider this. "If you work hard in your lesson, then maybe."

Edward practically skips into the pool room, dragging me by the hand behind him. I lead him over to the edge of the pool, away from the steps, and sit him down. "Stay right there," I tell him, "I'm just going to get something." He watches me carefully as I rummage in a closet, pulling out a foam object before returning to him. "Now Edward, do you know what this is?"

He reaches out and pokes at it. "It's a foam thing?"

"It's a kickboard," I tell him, "And we're going to use it today." he eyes the object warily, but says nothing. I carefully climb into the pool and turn to him. "Your turn."

He looks at me like I'm crazy. "Shouldn't we do this by the steps? Isn't that why pools have steps?"

I reach out and pat his knee. "Oh come on, Ed. We're in the shallow end, and I'm right here. I won't let you get hurt."

He glares at the water like it's conspiring against him. "I don't know…"

"Just humor me. Please?" I ask. He sighs, but finally nods.

"Okay," I instruct, "Let your feet dangle in the water. There are no sharks or anything in here, I promise." He unfolds his legs and gingerly places them into the water. "Good. Now scoot closer until you're sitting on the very edge." Slowly, I manage to coax him onto the edge.

"Now all you have to do is push off the edge with your hands." He gives me a look. "I'll hold onto you if it makes you feel better." I try. He considers this, then nods. I reach my arms out to him, putting my hands on his hips. "Alright, now push off from the edge. I've got you; you'll be fine."

Edward closes his eyes and does what I ask. He seems honestly surprised when his feet him the floor. "I told you we were in the shallow end," I remind him.

He slowly opens his eyes. "Oh."

A light pink tinge spreads over his face, and I can tell that he's embarrassed by his trepidation. I reach out and carefully lift his chin, making his gaze meet mine. "It's alright," I tell him gently, "Don't be embarrassed. I get it." He smiles gratefully, and I lean down to kiss him before leading him towards the middle of the pool.

I hold the kickboard out to him and show him where to put his hands. "Now lean forward onto the board and kick your legs out behind you. Don't worry, I'll be right here." I assure him, holding onto the front of the board. Cautiously, he leans forward, holding the board tightly. When he feels secure, he carefully picks his legs up. He looks up at me and smiles. "Very good," I tell him.

Jus then, however, the board slips out of his grasp, and Edward squeals as he falls into the water, his head dropping below the surface. I quickly grab him and pull him up, holding him close. He's inhaled some water, and I pat him on the back gently as he coughs and sputters, clutching onto me tightly.

"You're okay, honey," I murmur to him. "I've got you, you're safe. Just breathe." As he gets his breathing under control, I wonder if he'll ever trust me again. With one final cough, he looks up at me. "You alright?" I ask.

He nods quickly. "Yeah, I'm fine."

I gently kiss his forehead. "I'm so sorry about that, baby." Just then, the offending board drifts into our sides, and Edward glares at it. "You know what?" I say. "We're not going to use this anymore." I chuck it across the room, out of the pool.

Edward laughs. "Not your fault," he tells me. "It was an accident. I'm fine, thanks to you."

I kiss him again. "Do you want to try that again?" I ask carefully. "You can hold on to me this time." He nods, so I extend an arm, placing his hands on it. I hook my other arm under his hips, lifting them up until he's lying on his stomach. "That's better, huh?" I ask. He laughs and nods.

"Okay," I tell him, "Now if you kick you legs from this position, you'll move forward. Give it a try." He does, and he moves forward a few inches. I carefully guide his arms out until they're straight.

"Okay, let go of my arm." He glances up at me anxiously. "Don't worry," I tell him, "I'm not letting go of you. I want to show you something." He nods and releases my arm, holding his arms out straight. I show him how to use his arms to pull himself forward and have him use his arms and legs at the same time.

"You're doing great, Ed," I tell him. "Now all you have to do before you're done is try it without me holding onto you." When he looks at me again, I see the fear in his eyes. "Don't worry," I try to calm him. "You can do this. And I'll be right here to catch you if you fall again."

He sighs. "Okay, I'm ready."

Slowly, I remove my arm from around his waist and watch as he moves forward a few feet on his own power before sweeping him up into my arms again and kissing him hard. "Edward, I love you," I whisper.

"I love you too, Jazz." He grins. "Did I earn my reward?"

I laugh. "Yes, you did."

He bounces up and down excitedly. "So what is it?"

"I'm not telling you yet!"

He growls at me. "Tease!" he accuses.

I stick out my tongue at him before quickly scooping him up and running out of the pool with him. He yelps in surprise and holds onto me tightly. I deposit him outside our bedroom door. "Stay here for a minute while I get your surprise ready!"

I run into the room and close the door behind me. "Jazz, its cold out here!" Edward whines through the door.

"Just a minute, Ed. I promise you won't be cold anymore." I yell back. I quickly go into the bathroom and run the water in the bathtub until it's full. I go back into the bedroom, and as I'm reaching for the doorknob, I see a tie of Edward's sticking out of a drawer. It gives me an idea that I find myself hoping he'll go along with. I pull it out before opening the door.

Edward smiles when he sees me. "Can I come in now?"

"Edward, do you trust me?" I ask.

He looks at me curiously. "Of course I trust you. Why?"

"Because I had an idea. I think you'll enjoy it, but I don't want you to be scared."

He raises an eyebrow at me, but nods. "I trust you, Jazz."

I lean over and kiss him. "Okay, turn around and close your eyes." He does as I ask and I carefully tie the garment over his eyes.

I turn him back around and he smiles at me. "Your idea was blindfolding me?" he asks.

"Um…yeah, kind of. Are you okay with this?" I ask, suddenly nervous.

He nods. "Sure, as long as you don't let me walk into anything."

I laugh. "I won't, I promise. And if you want me to stop, just tell me. But I think you'll like this."

He smiles and reaches out for my hand. I take his hand in mine and lead him through the bedroom into the bathroom. I hook my fingers in the top of his bathing suit and pull it down to his ankles. He lifts first one, then the other foot up so I can get them off of him. I place his hand on the cool edge of the tub. "Edward, do you know what this is?" I ask.

"The bathtub?"

"Correct. Can you climb into it for me?"

He nods. "I think so."

I take his arm. "I'll hang onto you so you don't fall." Once he's in, I quickly pull off my own swimsuit, having him hold on to my shoulder just in case. I climb in, facing him, and take the soap off the ledge. I reach out and take his wrist, running the soap up and down his arm. When I'm done, I place that one on my shoulder and do the same to the other one.

"Still alright?" I ask.

Edward nods happily. "It's kind of fun," he tells me. "I get to be surprised." I find myself a little in awe of how easily he trusted me, and idly wonder if I would let someone blindfold me. Thinking about it, I decide that I would if that person was Edward. He's the only person I would trust completely like this.

I lather my way down his body, starting at his shoulders. I rub my thumbs in slow, circular patterns over his nipples, and he gasps. I laugh and he grins. "Now you're just enjoying teasing me."

I kiss him lightly. "You got that right!"

I run my hands down his sides and across his stomach, really less intent on cleaning him than giving him pleasure. And from the look on his face, he seems to be enjoying every minute of it. I soap up his hips and down his legs, carefully avoiding his growing erection. He makes small, happy noises the whole time, his smile never faltering.

I take him by the shoulders and turn him around, putting his hands on the cool tile wall. I start spreading the soap down his back, but Edward gets so lost in the sensation that he slips and almost falls into the tub. I manage to catch him, but I have to come up with a new plan.

"Hey Ed," I ask, "Do you particularly like this tie?"

"I don't know, which tie is it?"

I take the time to examine it closely for the first time, and I laugh out loud, startling him and making him slip again. I've still got my arms around him though, so he doesn't get very far. "Sorry about that. It's got little Christmas trees on it."

He makes a face. "I hate this tie with a passion."

"So you don't mind if it gets wet and ruined?"

He shakes his head vehemently. "Please, be my guest. Burn it if you want to, I don't care."

I laugh at his hatred for the object, but it makes my new plan fall into place. It's clear that Edward can't hold himself up, so I carefully guide him down until he's on his hands and knees, the end of the tie dangling in the water. "Much better," I remark.

"Much better for what?" he asks, hoping I'm going to give him a hint.

Instead of answering, I lean over him, gently massaging his back. At least kneeling, he can't fall and hurt himself. Edward moans softly and I feel the muscles in his back release under my touch. He's practically purring by the time I move to his lower back. "Enjoying yourself?" I ask. He just hums happily in response. I leave one hand stroking his back lightly while the other moves down to caress his thighs and ass.

I slowly trail one finger down his crack, circling around his hole before going back up. Edward whines and presses back slightly against my finger, trying to get me where he wants me. "Not just yet, love." I whisper. He shivers in anticipation.

I carefully turn him around and lay him down against the side of the tub, gently washing the soap off. He leans his head back against the tiles. "Have I ever told you how much I love you?" he asks.

I laugh. "I think you may have mentioned it, maybe once or twice."

"Good, because I love you a lot. And I'm never going to stop saying it, because that's how much I love you," he murmurs.

I lean up and kiss him softly. When I reach down and lightly brush my fingertips along his length, he yelps in surprise and chuckles. "You know," he says, "One of these days I'm going to get you back for all this teasing."

I kiss across his cheek and over to his ear. "I'm countin' on that, darlin'."

Edward shivers as my hot breath washes over his skin, and I lightly trace the shell of his ear with my tongue. He moans softly in response. "You ever notice that your accent gets stronger the more turned on you are?" he whispers.

I laugh quietly. "Not until you mentioned it. Why, do you like it?"

He grins at me. "Oh God yes. But I never noticed it until I couldn't see you." His fingers thread gently through my hair, tugging gently. "And it's really, really hot. It's like I have my own personal cowboy," he laughs.

"Well I'll have to remember that, darlin'," I growl into his ear, laying it on thick and hearing him giggle.

I start trailing light kisses down his body, excruciatingly slowly. Edward's fingertips start running gently from my shoulder down across my stomach; searching. I know what he's trying to do, but I take both of his wrists and pin them over his head with one hand. "This isn't about me, baby. This is all about you," I remind him.

"But Jasper," he starts, but I press my lips to his, effectively cutting him off mid-sentence.

"No 'but Jasper's from you. This is about you, darlin'." I pause long enough to suck hard on the skin under his collarbone, leaving a dark purple mark. "Now, if there's something you want, all you have to do is ask. But don't be worrying about my pleasure. It's pleasure enough to watch you like this."

Edward groans, struggling with words for a second as I suck gently on one nipple, but manages to choke out a plea.

"Jasper," he whimpers, "I w-want…you inside m-me…now."

For a moment his face takes on a nervous expression, as if he's worried about my reaction. The request surprises me for a moment, but at this point I'd do anything he asked of me. I kiss him gently, trying to quell his fears. "You're sure?" I ask.

Edward nods vigorously. "Please Jasper! I need you."

I kiss him once more before pulling away for a moment to look at him. "Oh, baby," I whisper, "You're so beautiful, you know that?"

"Is that a yes?" he asks hopefully.

I laugh. "Of course it's a yes. Do you honestly think I could say 'no' to you, darlin'?"

His face breaks into a smile as I look over to the bathroom counter. I remembered to grab the lube on our way in, but I don't have a condom. "Damn," I mutter to myself, but Edward's face grows concerned.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, love," I reassure him. "I just forgot a condom. Hang on, I'll be right back."

I start to get up, but Edward pulls me back down. "Forget about that. We're both clean. Come on Jazz, just you and me."

His response surprises me, but it makes sense. Besides it'll only ever be Edward, there's no reason not to. "Okay then. Turn around and come up on your hands and knees for me." I carefully guide him into position, helping him maneuver in the slippery tub.

I reach up to the counter to retrieve the lube, and press a kiss to the small of his back. "I love you," I whisper against his skin. I quickly coat my fingers and plant small kisses on each buttock. I watch his face as I spread the lube around his hole. He seems fine, but when I start pushing one slick finger into him he gasps and pulls away slightly, almost as if he is afraid. I immediately pull away, not wanting to push him.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I ask, worried. I can see the tension in his body.

He sighs heavily. "Sorry, Jazz. It's just weird, not being able to see what you're doing. I know you're not going to hurt me, but my instincts kicked in for a second there."

"It's okay, honey. We don't have to do this if you don't want to," I remind him.

He shakes his head. "No, I want to. I'm fine, really. I trust you. It was just a little strange. I'm okay now," he insists.

"Alright," I say softly, "but stop me if you need to."

Edward nods, but he's still tense. I bring my lube-free hand up and gently rub his back until I feel him relax. With my other hand, I carefully rub my finger over and around his hole, letting him get used to the sensation. "Ready?" I ask.

I wait for his nod of approval before pressing slowly into him. He lets out a long groan, and I pause. "Good groan, or bad groan?" I ask cautiously.

Edward smiles at me over his shoulder. "Definitely good."

I relax a little bit and trail my lips gently down his back as I slowly thrust in and out of him. I watch him carefully for any sign of discomfort or fear, but I find nothing. Soon, Edward is pushing back against my hand, urging me on. I carefully work a second finger in next to the first, scissoring them to stretch him further.

Edward moans softly. "Oh, God Jazz," he mumbles. "Feels s-so good…"

"It only gets better from here," I tell him. He moans again as I slip a third finger into him.

"I'm ready," he whines impatiently.

I rub up and down his back soothingly. "Patience, darlin'. I don't want to hurt you. Just another minute." When I'm satisfied that Edward is as prepared as he can be, I carefully pull my fingers out.

I press a kiss to the back of his neck and slowly trail down his spine. When I reach the end, I reach up and squeeze his shoulder gently. "You're sure you still want to do this?" I ask once more.

Edward makes a small, exasperated noise. "I'm sure, Jazz. Please, I need you…I need to feel you…Please…"

I carefully line myself up with his entrance, putting my hands on his hips, before slowly pushing into him. He whimpers softly as his body adjusts to the intrusion, and I pause to give him time. He soon relaxes and pushes back against me, taking me in a little bit at a time. It takes all my self control not to thrust into him and be enveloped in his tight heat, but I focus on making this the best it can be for him. I somehow manage to stay still and let him inch his way back at a pace he's comfortable with. When his body is flush with my hips, we let out simultaneous moans.

I thrust into him, slowly at first, then gradually harder and deeper. His moans and whimpers become louder and more desperate as Edward nears his tipping point. Holding his hip with one hand, I dip the other in the cooling water before wrapping it around his length. Edward cries out, involuntarily thrusting into my hand.

"Jasper…ah!...Oh don't stop…So close…" he pants.

I find it just as difficult to answer. "Oh, Ed…m-me too…oh, fuck…s-so tight…"

One of his hands makes it's way down to mine, resting on his hip, and gives it a gentle squeeze. He tries to speak, and though his speech is uneven, his words are unmistakable. "…Fuck…Jasper, I…ah!...I n-need you…I want you t-to cum…inside m-me…"

I lean over him to get as close as possible to his face. "As you wish," I whisper in his ear. Edward whimpers loudly, and the sound is all it takes to throw me over the edge. I bite down hard on the space where his shoulder and neck meet as I cum hard, deep inside his ass. He cries out as he spills his own load into the water, as well as on my hand and his stomach.

I turn Edward and settle him in my arms, and we stay like that for a while until our breathing returns to normal. Then, without warning, I stand up and quickly hoist him out of the tub with me. He squeals in surprise, holding me tightly, and I carefully deposit him on his feet. He holds onto me as I clean him up and dry him off, still too wobbly to stand on his own. I pick him up again and set him down gently on the bed before reaching to untie the makeshift blindfold.

Before I can say anything, Edward wraps his arms around my neck and kisses me hard, pulling me down on top of him in the process. When we finally break apart, he hugs me tightly. "I love you so much, Jasper," he whispers against my neck, grinning. "And that was an amazing idea."

I laugh softly. "I have my moments. I'm glad you enjoyed it." I pull away slightly to look at his face. "Hey Ed? Thanks for trusting me like that. I know it must not have been easy."

"It wasn't," he agrees, "But I know you would never take advantage of me or do something without my consent. I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't know I was safe with you. And you've once again proved yourself to be the most compassionate and understanding person ever. I love you."

Looking into his eyes, I can see that it's the truth. I lean down to kiss him again, slowly and passionately this time. "I love you too. I always will."

* * *

**My goodness that was the longest chapter ever! It was 14 whole pages. Wowza! Originally the part with Jasper's mom was going to be in this chapter too, but after 14 pages I thought I'd cut it off here. Please, please let me know what you think in a review! I love getting them! Next chapter should be out soon!**

~TheSongSmith


	35. The Call

**This one is pretty straight forward, but some cool plot happens. Yay plot!**

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**JPOV  
**

"Ready?" Edward asks. We are sitting in his car, in the driveway of his parent's house, and I've got a vice grip on his hand.

"Um…yeah," I reply slowly.

He waits for a minute. "Uh, Jazz? We can't get out of the care unless you let go of my hand for a minute."

I release his hand immediately and run my other hand through my hair. "Sorry. I'm just…a little nervous, I guess."

Edward gets out of the driver's side and comes around to open my door. When I step out, he pulls me into a hug. "It's alright," he tells me gently. "Just remember, no matter what happens, you'll always have me."

I nod against his shoulder, feeling a little bit better. "Alright, I'm ready." Edward takes my hand again and leads me into the living room, where Emmett sits watching a football game.

Esme pokes her head around the corner. "Nice to see you again, boys!" she calls. She disappears for a moment before emerging from the kitchen to hug us both. She looks at me carefully, and I get the feeling that she can see right into my soul. She smiles kindly. "How are you doing, Jasper?"

I smile back. "Okay. A little nervous," I answer truthfully.

She nods sympathetically. "Well I hope it goes well, but we'll all still be here for you if it doesn't. Carlisle is in his study if you'd like to talk to him."

"Thanks, Esme." She goes back into the kitchen and I lead Edward up the stairs. We pass Alice's room and she practically flies out the door to hug me. "Jasper!" she yells. She's so tiny that her arms don't reach all the way around, and I laugh.

"Good to see you too, Alice."

Edward makes an offended face. "I'm only your brother!" he says, pretending to be mad at her.

Alice rolls her eyes. "Yes, but I have two brothers, and they're both annoying. I only have one Jasper!"

This makes Edward laugh too. "Hey, I though he was _my_ fiancé!"

Alice sticks her tongue out at him. "Well he's _my_ new favorite brother!" She turns to me with a smile. "Speaking of fiancés, Jasper, can you and my idiot brother stay for dinner? I want to start making wedding plans!" she bounces up and down excitedly.

"Probably," I answer, "As long as it's okay with your idiot brother."

I poke Edward in the side, and he cracks a grin. "Fine, but only if you stop calling me your idiot brother. I think we can all agree that Emmett is the true family idiot." Alice laughs, a sound like bells, and releases me, going back into her room.

Together, Edward and I continue down the hallway until we reach Carlisle's study. He's sitting at his desk, reading a book in his usual spot. He looks up and smiles when we knock. "Good to see you, boys. Please, come in." he ushers us into the chairs opposite his. "So how have you two been?"

"Pretty good," I tell him. "In fact, really good. Your son can officially swim."

Carlisle looks astonished for a moment before he composes himself. "…Really?" he asks.

Edward groans dramatically and I laugh. "Yes. I've been teaching him."

"I see." Carlisle nods thoughtfully and smiles. "Well then, you've been more successful than I've been."

I grin wickedly at Edward, who catches my look and raises an eyebrow at me. "Well," I say to Carlisle, "With all due respect, I think my methods are…a little more effective. I can be…persuasive."

Edward groans and looks like he wants to spontaneously combust as Carlisle laughs. "Well, I suppose they are. But we'll spare him any further embarrassment. I really wanted to talk to you, Jasper. How are you feeling about all of this?"

"Alright, I guess. I'm happy that I get to talk to my mom again, but…part of me is worried that I'm just setting myself up to get hurt again."

Carlisle nods. "Well, I can't blame you for that. But I can tell you that she seemed really happy when I told her you wanted to talk to her. She also seemed sorry for what happened before. I think she'll at least try to be understanding."

I consider this. "What do I even say to a person I haven't seen in years?"

"Well you could start with 'hello', and then see where it goes from there. I'm sure she's dying to know what's been going on with you since she last saw you."

I nod. "But…until I found Edward, things weren't so great. Do I tell her about the bad parts too?"

Carlisle sighs. "Well, the psychologist in me says that you have the right to keep private whatever you want. But the parent in me would want to know at least some of what happened. You don't have to tell her every horrible detail, but you can tell her some of it. And then tell her that you're safe and happy now."

I nod, frowning slightly. "Thanks, Carlisle."

He fiddles with the laptop in front of him before turning it towards us. "Now, when it's 3 o' clock, just press this button here to call her. I'll go to give you some privacy, but I'll be around, so yell if you need anything."

He exists, closing the door behind him, and Edward rises to go as well, but I grab his hand. "Stay with me. Please? You don't have to be on camera or anything. I just…I could use the support."

He sits back down next to me and smiles. "Sure. Whatever you want, love." I nod gratefully and he tilts my chin up, kissing me gently. "Just relax. This is definitely not the scariest thing you've been through lately. You'll be fine."

I relax a little bit and smile. "No, I guess this isn't the scariest thing. Now if only my brain could tell the rest of me that."

Edward squeezes my hand and looks up at the clock. "Are you ready?"

I take a deep breath and nod before clicking the button. After a moment, a face I haven't seen in years fills the screen and smiles. "Hi, Jasper," she whispers.

"Hi, mom."

She stares at me for a minute. "It's been so long. You look…happy."

"I am happy," I tell her. "How are you?"

"Better, now that I've seen you again." Her smile fades a little. "Jasper, I want to apologize. I'm so sorry for the way I reacted when you told us the truth. It was terrible of me. I just want you to know that I still love you. I'll always love you, no matter what, and I hope I'm not too late. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?"

I relax a little more. I never realized that this was what I'd wanted to hear all along. "You've already been forgiven, Mama," I tell her gently. "It's alright."

She smiles as a tear rolls down her cheek. "You haven't called me 'Mama' since you were a child. And no, it's not alright. I was wrong. But I'm hoping I can make it be alright." She composes herself. "Now, Jasper, what's been going on all these years?"

I sigh, trying to figure out where to start. "Well, Carlisle and Esme already told you that I was in a terrible relationship for a while. I was with a bad person for a long time before I got the courage to leave. This guy, he was so mad that he sent some people after me. I ended up in the hospital, and that's where I met Edward."

"Carlisle and Esme's son?"

"Yes. You see, I collapsed in the parking lot at the hospital, and Edward found me there. He…he saved my life. And, when he found out I didn't have anywhere to go, he offered to let me stay with him."

She nods. "Well, I'm glad. Tell him 'thank you' for me."

I glance at Edward, and he smiles. "Why don't you tell him yourself?" I ask. I shift the camera so that both of us are in the shot. "Mom, this is Edward Cullen."

Edward smiles and waves at the camera. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Whitlock."

My mom waves back. "Nice to meet you too, Edward. Thank you for taking care of my son. It's nice to know that someone was there for him, even when I wasn't."

"It was my pleasure. You've raised quite a gentleman," he tells her. She smiles lightly.

"Uh, mom?" I interrupt. "I had something I really wanted to tell you."

She looks confused for a moment. "Sure, Jasper. What do you want to tell me?"

I look to Edward, who nods, and take a deep breath. "Edward and I…We're…together." She looks a little surprised, but doesn't completely freak out, so I continue. "Actually, we're getting married. And it would mean a lot to me if…you guys would come."

Once again, my heart jumps into my throat and my nerves are on edge as I wait for her to say something. Edward notices and rubs my back gently, trying to soothe me. It's a movement that does not go unnoticed by my mom.

She looks at us for a moment before speaking. "He really makes you happy, doesn't he?" she asks softly.

"Yes, Mama, he does. If you had seen me before he found me, you wouldn't have recognized me. I was terrified and closed off from the rest of the world. But Edward changed that. He saved me in every way a person can be saved. He taught me to trust again; to love again." I take a breath to collect myself. "I…I love him, Mama, and nothing anyone could say would change my mind. I'm going to marry him. But I would really appreciate it if you guys would come to the wedding to support me."

A slow smile lights up her face. "Well, Rosie and I will definitely be there, and I'll work on convincing your father to come. Have you set a date yet?"

I can relax now that I know she's okay with this. "Not yet, but we will soon. I'll let you know when we do. Speaking of Rosie…is she there?"

"I think she's in her room. Would you like to talk to her?"

I glance at Edward and grin. "I'd love to."

Mom leaves the room to find my sister, and Edward squeezes my hand and grins at me. "You see?" he says, "You were worried about nothing. She's okay with us. And she's going to come!"

I chuckle at his enthusiasm. "I know, I know," I tell him, "But I had to hear her say it."

Just then, Rosie bounds into the frame. I find myself a little surprised at how much older she looks. "Jazzy!" she yells, waving at the camera. "I missed you."

"I missed you too Rosie. I have something I want to tell you." She smiles and nods. "This," I say, gesturing to Edward, "is a good friend of mine, Edward Cullen."

Rosie waves to him. "Hi Edward." She looks between the two of us for a moment. "Is he your boyfriend, Jazzy?"

Edward and I both laugh. "Yes, Rosie, he is." She grins broadly. "The thing I wanted to tell you is that Edward and I are going to get married."

She claps and hops up and down excitedly. "Can I come to the wedding? Please Jazzy?"

"Of course you can come," I tell her. "Do you really think I'd have a wedding without my favorite sister?"

She rolls her eyes at me. "I'm your _only_ sister, you big doofus."

"All the more reason you're my favorite." This makes her laugh. "Alright Rosie, We'll talk again soon; I promise. Can you put mom back on please?"

She nods. "Sure, Jazzy. I love you!"

"Love you too Rosie."

She leaves the frame and is quickly replaced by my mother. We exchange phone numbers so that we can stay in touch. "Jasper," she says before we hang up, "I just want you to know that…I'm really happy for you. And I love you."

"I love you too, Mama. Thank you."

When I hang up, I turn to Edward with a smile. "Well, that went well."

He laughs and pulls me into his arms. "I'd say so. And now you've got what you wanted. Now your family can be here too."

"Yeah," I murmur, "I guess I was worrying about nothing."

"Mhm," Edward agrees. "Want to go down and tell the others?"

I consider this. "I suppose we should, but part of me really just wants to stay snuggled up with you."

He just laughs and pulls me up out of the chair. "Come on, we can snuggle later!"

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**Yay for happy times! *happy dance* Once again, reviews make me smiley, so please clock that button!**

**Until next time,  
~TheSongSmith**


	36. Those Magic Changes

**Hello all! This one is shorter than the last couple, but it has some important moments that I didn't want to group with either the last chapter or the next one, so enjoy!**

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**EPOV**

As we walk down the stairs, I take a good look at Jasper. He looks so much happier than he did this morning, without the nervousness clouding his features, and I find myself happier now that he's happy too.

Carlisle sits in a chair at the bottom of the stairs, and looks up when we come down. He watches us for a minute before asking, "How did it go?"

Jasper smiles at him. "It went great," he says. "My mom and my sister are definitely coming to the wedding. Not sure about my dad yet, but mom said she'd talk to him." Carlisle claps him on the shoulder, but Jasper is so happy that he pulls the older man into a hug. "Thank you for doing this, Carlisle."

"Any time, Jasper," Carlisle replies. He goes back to reading his book.

In the kitchen, mom is making dinner while Alice chatters on about something. They both look at us when we enter, and Esme puts down the pan in her hand to come over and hug us. "From the look on your face, I take it we can add more names to the guest list?"

Jasper beams. "Yes. My mom and sister are coming. My dad might come too."

"That's great Jasper!" Alice squeals. She pulls a notebook out from somewhere and starts writing as Esme goes back to her cooking.

"What's the book for?" I ask.

She rolls her eyes as if this should be obvious. "It's a wedding planning book! Duh! I've been writing down all of the important stuff in here so I don't forget anything."

Esme turns around from her place at the counter. "Are you boys staying for dinner?"

I look to Jasper, who shrugs at me. "We'd love to," I say.

Alice squeals again and motions us over to the table. "Well, as long as you're staying, we can talk wedding plans!" She proceeds to talk our ears off about decorations and flowers and food and everything else that a wedding could possible need. We answer a million questions, and when I catch Esme's eye and silently beg her to help us escape, she just chuckles and shrugs before going back to her cooking.

After an hour of this, I'm hoping an asteroid will hit the house or something and just end this misery. Thankfully, that asteroid comes in the form of Emmett, who comes barreling into the kitchen looking for food. When he sees Jasper and I stuck in Alice's clutches, he offers an escape route.

"Ed, Jasper, come upstairs with me! I just got a new video game and I need people to play against!" he says excitedly.

Alice huffs. "Emmett, can't this wait? We're discussing important things here!"

Emmett snorts. "Ali, Edward looks like he's ready to kill you with that butter knife if you say anything else, and there are months 'til the wedding. Besides," he pouts, "Would you really keep me from my chance to bond with my soon-to-be brother-in-law while participating in manly activities?"

I never thought I'd say this, but thank God for Emmett.

Alice stares at him for another moment before closing her book. "Oh, alright," she sighs, "Go do your so-called 'manly activities'. We can discuss more later."

I practically jump out of my seat, grabbing a giggling Jasper by the hand and pulling him along behind me. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, Emmett!" I say once we're out of earshot of Alice.

He laughs. "You looked like you could use some help," he explains, "But you're not going to avoid her for very long if you want your wedding planned. She may be tiny, but she's annoyingly persistent."

Jasper chuckles as the three of us go upstairs and into Emmett's room. Emmett sets up a racing game and hands a controller to each of us as we sit side by side. Usually, Emmett is the best at these kinds of games. I'm always the worst. And, when Jasper starts winning, I think for a second that Emmett is letting him win. But the look on his face when Jasper crosses the finish line first tells me that he was really trying to win.

Emmett stares, open-mouthed, at the screen. "Beginner's luck," he says firmly. "I demand a rematch!"

Jasper grins at me before turning back to the game. He and Emmett play another fourteen rounds, and Jasper wins every one. By the end I'm practically rolling on the floor laughing at Emmett's expression.

"How are you so good at this?" Emmett asks, incredulous. Jasper shrugs silently. "Okay, Emmett says, "One more round?"

Emmett wins this round, but instead of being happy, he looks suspiciously at Jasper. "You let me win that one, didn't you?" he accuses.

"Yeah, I did," Jasper admits.

Emmett shoves him lightly. "Then it doesn't count!" he insists.

"Want to try again?" Jasper asks.

"Fine, but you can't let me win this time!"

They play another million rounds, and Emmett doesn't win one. He seems almost in awe of Jasper. "At least I have someone good to play with," he says. "Edward doesn't even put up a fight."

Esme calls upstairs that dinner is ready, and as we walk down the stairs I hear Emmett say "Hey, Jasper? Could you teach me someday how to play like that?"

Jasper laughs. "Sure, Emmett."

I smile at the small exchange between them, because for the first time all the pieces of my life are coexisting in harmony, fitting together seamlessly.

During dinner, I sit back and watch as Jasper blends perfectly with the rest of my family. He slips into their midst effortlessly, like he's always been there, and I find myself extremely proud of his progress. The man sitting next to me today is so different from the man I found in the parking lot. This new Jasper is more confident, open, and comfortable with himself; all things the old Jasper was too afraid to be. Even when suffering through more wedding interrogation at the hands of Alice, he handles himself with a sort of quiet grace. I really want, more than anything right now, to tell him these things, but since we're in front of my family I keep them to myself.

After a while, Jasper and I head home. As we walk up the front porch steps arm in arm, I passionately press my lips to his. He seems a little surprised at first, and when I pull back he looks at me curiously.

"What was that for?" he asks.

"I've been wanting to do that all night," I answer honestly.

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Any particular reason why?"

"I was just watching you with my family tonight, and with your family, and…I'm so proud of you, Jasper. You really have come so far from that day I found you in the parking lot. I just…I love you."

He smiles at me as we continue into the house. "Yeah, I guess I have changed. I don't think I could have done it without you, though. You're the one who was patient enough to get me out of my shell. If it wasn't for you, I never would have learned to trust again," he says softly.

* * *

Later that night, Jasper and I crawl into bed together. The emotions of the day seem to have taken their toll on him; he looks exhausted. Curled up in my arms, he sighs happily. "Love you, Ed," he murmurs sleepily.

"Love you too, Jazz." Within a few minutes, his soft snores fill the room.

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**Once again, reviews make me super happy so please click that little button and write something! Love you guys for reading!**

~TheSongSmith


	37. Surprise!

**Woohoo, another chapter up! This story is quickly coming to a close, and I'm a little sad to see it go, to be honest. But there's still a few more chapters left to be written, so read on!**

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**JPOV**

The next few months are filled with wedding plans and real life. Edward goes back to working at the hospital, and I get accepted into the vet tech program at the local college. Though I miss the time we could spend all day every day together, it's nice getting to have a real life again, however stressful it may be. And, though our days are busy, we make sure to reserve our nights and weekends for us. I use that time to train Shoshana, who, although still a little shy, is now trained well enough to be ridden, or to just be with Edward, who still insists on taking me out on dates, even though we've lived together for months now.

I've gotten very close to his family. Surprisingly, Emmett is now one of my best friends. We bonded over our mutual love of sports, and I even taught him how to play better in his video games. I'm still better than him, but he's managed to beat me a few times.

Alice and I have a special sort of relationship. We fit together in a strange sort of way. Though I've become a lot more confident in these past few months, I'm still relatively quiet. Alice's chatter makes up for that, and she seems to understand me better than anyone, except Edward. We tend to be very in tune with each other. She's become as much of a little sister to me as Rosie is.

And Carlisle and Esme are always there to support me. Carlisle and I have similar tastes in books, and we recommend things to each other. Esme, always the mother, knows me well enough to know when I need space and when I need to talk, even though I never ask. She is always understanding and willing to listen. I've come to fit into the Cullen family as if I was always a part of them. It's a feeling I've never had before, and it's nice.

As for my biological family, I talk to my mom and Rosie at least once a week. I've yet to speak to my dad, but mom said that he's agreed to come to the wedding. And then there's Edward. Perfect, sweet Edward, who is always there for me. Someone who I know loves me more than anything in the world; someone I can trust.

The whole thing is pretty surreal. Things couldn't be better. At least, that's what I'm thinking one Saturday morning, two months from the wedding. Edward and I are snuggled on the couch. We're pretending to watch a movie while really just enjoying being together, when the doorbell rings.

Edward looks to me. "Can you get that?" he asks sweetly. I nod and kiss him gently before getting up and opening the door.

When I do, a flurry of long blonde curls almost tackles me to the ground. It takes me a minute to understand, but when I do, a smile breaks across my face. "Rosie?"

She pulls away and smiles at me, and I see many of my same features mirrored in her, only more delicately. "The one and only," she says with a grand bow.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, not fully believing the truth.

Just then, my mother pops into view. "She's here with me," she states matter-of-factly, hugging me.

"I invited them," Edward says. He has come to stand behind me, putting an arm around my waist. When I look at him quizzically, he explains. "I know you've been pretty stressed lately, what with all your school work and the fact that the wedding is only two months away. And I know how much you missed your family, so I asked if they'd like to spend some time up here, visiting you."

I kiss him on the cheek, too overwhelmed to say anything. Rosalie giggles. "You two are adorable," she sighs.

Edward laughs and invites them in, stopping to hug both my sister and my mother before leading the whole party over to the living room. We chat for a while, most of the conversation coming from Edward because I am still too shocked to see my family in front of me. They chat about the wedding and how excited they are. There's not much information we can tell them, because Alice hasn't let us in on many of the details. She insists that it should be a surprise.

"I'd love to meet the rest of your family, Edward," my mom says. "I've heard so much about them."

Edward nods. "Well, they'd love to meet you too. When I told them you were coming, they insisted that we all go to their house tomorrow afternoon so that everyone can get to know each other."

He gives her the address of the house and the time to meet there. We all talk for another hour or so before they leave for their hotel. When Edward closes the door behind them, he turns to me.

"I hope I didn't cross a line or anything by inviting them," he says as a pink tinge spreads across his face. "I just wanted to surprise you."

I quickly go to him and wrap my arms around his neck, kissing him hard. "Edward, I love you."

He smiles. "Does that mean you liked the surprise?"

I laugh and nod. "Yeah. That was so thoughtful of you to bring them here. Thank you." I pause for a minute before giving him a wicked grin. "But," I say casually, "I think I have some other ideas about how we can relieve some of this stress."

"Oh really?" he asks. "So do I." He takes me by the hand and leads me upstairs.

I let him peel my shirt over my head. I try to do the same to him, but he takes me by the shoulders and turns me around to face the bed before pushing me, facedown, onto the soft mattress. He moves up to straddle my legs and starts gently kneading the muscles in my neck. I never realized how much I needed this until now.

A soft moan escapes my lips, and I can hear the smile in Edward's voice. "Enjoying yourself?" he asks. I hum in response, and he chuckles.

He makes his way slowly down my back, and I mentally thank him. Once again, he's proven he knows me better than I know myself. He knew I needed this before I did. By the time he is done, I am completely relaxed and feel so much better than I did before.

Edward presses a final kiss to the middle of my back and flops down beside me. "So," he asks, "What are we going to do today?"

I groan when I think about my plans. "I have some work I need to finish," I tell him.

He groans too. "Noooo!" he whines. "That's boring!"

I laugh. "I know, honey, but I have to do it if I want to pass."

He sighs. "Oh, alright. But finish it quickly so we can have fun!"

I grab my laptop from the side table and sit up on the bed. Edward lies across my lap, reading as I do my work. When I finish an hour later, I close the laptop and toss it aside only to find Edward asleep in my lap with the book over his face. I laugh quietly as I carefully take the book off of him and close it. I watch him sleep for a few minutes before gently stroking his cheek, waking him up. He blinks up at me, confused for a moment.

"Done already?" he asks curiously. "That was fast."

"Not really. You just fell asleep right after I started, so it seems that way."

He nods thoughtfully before breaking into a smile. "But you're still done, right?"

I chuckle. "Yeah, I'm done."

"That means you're all mine!" he exclaims. He sits up quickly, shaking the remnants of sleep away and taking my hand.

"Edward," I say as he pulls me out of bed, "Where are we going?"

"Outside!" he replies excitedly. "It's beautiful out."

I shrug, letting him lead me through the house and out the door. We walk through the woods surrounding the house for a while until we reach a small clearing I've never seen before. All the flowers are in bloom, and Edward leads me over to the middle of it before pulling me down to sit beside him.

"Edward," I whisper, "It's beautiful."

He smiles at me. "Yes, you are."

A scarlet blush spreads across my face. "Thanks," I mumble.

Edward laughs and kisses my cheek. "It's true." He hesitates for a moment. "Hey Jazz? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

He takes a deep breath. "Have you ever thought about having kids?" he asks before he starts babbling, a nervous habit of his. "I mean, not like physically having kids, because that won't work, the biology and all that, but, I mean, there are other ways we could-"

I put a finger to his lips, stopping his nervous talking. "Yes," I tell him, "I've thought about it."

"And?" he asks. "Is it something you want to do?"

I think about this for a moment. "Yeah, I think it is. What about you?"

He hesitates. "Well…Yeah, sure," he says awkwardly.

"Edward, I know you better than that. What's wrong?"

He takes a moment to collect his thoughts. "I don't know," he says finally. "I love kids, and I'd love to have some, but…I'm worried."

"Worried about what?" I prod gently.

"What if I'm the same kind of parent as my biological parents?" he blurts out, which is how I know this has been bothering him for a while.

I sigh and wrap my arms around him. "Edward, we both know that you're different from your biological family," I remind him. "If you were really like them, you wouldn't have taken care of me like you have. They were terrible people, but the fact that you're related to them doesn't mean you're going to act like them. You're more Carlisle and Esme's son then you are the son of those people."

He leans into me. "You think so?" he asks quietly.

"Definitely," I tell him. "You have their amazing compassion and capacity for love. You have their patience and kindness. These are some of the reasons I fell in love with you."

He smiles a little. "I guess so…"

"And besides," I tell him, "If you were anything like those people, you would have hurt me a long time ago, and you have every opportunity to. But you didn't, and that's why I know you could never be like them."

"You're right," he replies. "Thank you. And yeah, I'd like to have kids with you some day." He grins at me before leaning back on his elbows and surveying the meadow. "So what do you think about tonight?" he asks. "Dinner and a movie?"

I smile back at him. "Sounds perfect."

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**As always, your reviews and messages make me smile and feel good, so please let me know what you think! Exciting stuff will be happening soon, so get ready!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	38. I Do

**Well here we are, folks! The moment you've all been waiting for! Don't fret, my lovely readers, there's probably another 2 or so chapters after this. Read on!**

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**JPOV**

It's finally here. After months of waiting and planning, our wedding day is finally here. Alice is flitting here and there like a genuine pixie, trying to make sure everything goes according to her careful plans. I'm sitting alone in what is normally Carlisle's study, but today is serving as my dressing room. Edward is doing the same in his bedroom down the hall, and even that small distance seems too much. Rosie and Emmett were supposed to be here with me, but they ran off somewhere. The two have been inseparable since they met for the first time. I was a little angry, at first, about their relationship, but Edward reminded me that our relationship is just as weird to them. So I settled for threatening to kill Emmett if he hurt my little sister.

I jump when Alice bursts into the room, wielding more things than it seems possible for someone her size to carry. "Where are Rose and Emmett?" I gesture towards the door, and she frowns. "I told them to stay here…oh well." She starts putting down her various items and hands me a garment bag. "Here's your tuxedo. Put it on and I'll come back in a few minutes to help with any last minute stuff."

Then, just as suddenly as she arrived, she is gone. I open the bag to find a white tux and black bowtie. I carefully put it on as instructed, but when it comes to the bowtie, I have no idea what I'm doing. How do you tie one of these things?

I'm praying that Alice is skilled in the art of bowties when I hear a quiet knock on the door. "Come in!" I yell, hoping that whoever it is can help me with this stupid thing.

The door creaks as it opens, and I turn to see my father, in a suit, standing in the doorway. "…Hi, Jasper," he says awkwardly.

"Hi, dad."

He rubs the back of his neck nervously, but doesn't step out of the doorway, as if he's waiting for an invitation. "I, uh…I came to see if you needed anything."

I hold up the strip of cloth. "I do, actually. Do you have any idea how I'm supposed to make this thing into a bowtie?"

He smiles a little and finally steps into the room, crossing to stand in front of me. I hold out the tie and he starts speaking as he takes it from me. "Jasper," he says as he loops it under my collar, "I know this is kind of weird. I just wanted to tell you that…I really am sorry about how I treated you when you told me about your sexuality. I did and said some horrible things, and I feel terrible about it every day. I wish I could take back that day and do it over, but I can't. I never meant to push you away like I did. I spent every day wondering where you were and if you were safe."

"You could have called," I say, a little coldly. "I've been talking to Rosie and mom for months now. You could have spared ten minutes to ask me how I was doing, but you never did."

He hangs his head a little. "I know, Jasper," he says softly, "But I was a coward before. And when I finally got my head out of my ass, I realized that it was too late for a phone call. So I waited until I could tell you in person how sorry I am."

I nod. "Well…thank you."

"Jasper," he asks, "Is it too late for us to have a relationship?"

I have to think about this for a moment. "No," I say finally, "It's not too late. But if you really want to have a relationship with me then you're going to have to accept me the way I am. And the way I am is gay, and about to marry another man. Can you accept that?"

He sighs as he finishes pulling the loops. "Yes, son. I was wrong before, but I've come to my senses. If you're happy with this, then so am I."

I look into the mirror on the wall to see a perfectly tied bowtie around my neck. "How did you learn how to do that?" I ask, incredulous.

He laughs and shrugs. "Bowties were a big thing when I was a kid. We didn't have the clip-on kind back then, so we learned to tie them ourselves."

I smile at him. "Thanks, dad."

He nods and walks behind me, putting his hands on my shoulders. "I just wanted to say that I am so proud of you Jasper. You're a better man than I'll ever be. And I'm happy for you. I can tell that he makes you happy, and I'm glad you found someone like him to be with."

I didn't realize before that all I really wanted was for my dad to say that he's proud of me. I turn to face him. "I love you, dad."

He pulls me into a hug. "I love you too, Jasper."

When Alice bursts back into the room, the moment is over, but the feeling that went along with it is still alive. She brandishes a corsage pin towards me, and I put my hands up in surrender. "Whatever I did, I'm sorry!" I tease.

She laughs melodically. "Oh shut up, you. Come here so I can pin this on you!" in her other hand she holds a corsage with a sunset rose at the center. When she is happy with the arrangement, she steps back to look at me. "You look great, Jasper!" she says excitedly. "Are you ready to go?"

I take a deep breath and glance at my dad, who smiles, before nodding and following Alice downstairs. Edward is waiting at the bottom, and I smile when I see him. He's in the same outfit as me, but it really suits him. He's also sporting a smile so bright it could power the whole damn town. When I get to the bottom of the stairs, he reaches out for my hand.

"You look great," he says to me as Alice herds us towards the porch.

"As do you," I reply, smiling at him.

Outside, in the yard, a small collection of family and a few friends sits waiting for the ceremony. There is an arbor built at the front that will serve as the altar, and everything is decked out in the same hues as the sunset roses on each of our jackets. Alice really did an amazing job.

When I see the congregation, however, my heart jumps into my throat. As always, Edward notices immediately. He places a gentle hand on my back. "It's okay," he murmurs. "I knew you wouldn't want to walk down the aisle alone, so I talked to Ali about it. We're walking together." Knowing Edward will be right next to me calms my nerves a little.

We watch Rosie and Emmett walk down the aisle together before taking their respective places at each side of the altar. Then Edward and I, arm-in-arm, make our slow way down the center. I try my best not to look at anyone until we reach the front, where Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and my parents stand, smiling at us. We take our places at the front, me standing in front of Rosie and him in front of Emmett.

He smiles that cute crooked smile at me, and I find it a little easier to breath. I manage to keep it together through the overseer's speech about true love and such, but I'm only paying enough attention to know when I have to speak. The rest of my attention is focused on Edward, who doesn't take his eyes off of me the entire time.

After what seems like years, we are officially married. Edward and I kiss quickly before joining hands again and making our way back down the aisle. As we walk, a shower of small pink flowers rains down on us. One gets caught in Edward's hair, and I pick it out, examining it and laughing.

"What's so funny?" he asks.

I shake my head. "Cherry blossoms," I say, holding the flower up. He laughs too as we step onto the back porch.

"So," he whispers to me as the guests come inside for the reception, "How does it feel to be officially married?"

I kiss him lightly on the cheek. "Like I'm finally exactly where I'm supposed to be."

He smiles and leads me into the party. We walk around, greeting everyone, before ending up at the table that holds our families. There, we walk around to hug everyone. When I reach Alice, she's beaming like the Cheshire Cat. "So, what did you think?" she asks.

"It was beautiful, Ali," I reply. "Thank you." She nods and flits off somewhere else.

I notice Edward going up to my father and hold my breath as I watch the interaction between them. Edward extends a hand and my father takes it. "It's nice to meet you," he says. "Thank you for making my son happy."

Edward nods and smiles and I remember to breathe again. When a slower song comes on, he takes me by the hand and starts leading me through the crowd. "Edward," I whisper, "Where are we going?"

He grins at me. "We're going to dance." He glances over at me and laughs at my expression. "Don't worry, Jazz. Just follow me."

He leads me through the dance and I rest my head on his shoulder, enjoying the moment. When it's over, we continue to mingle. Edward convinces me to dance a few more times before the night is over. Then, when all the guests have gone, we stand together in the empty room, just enjoying each others company. The peace doesn't last for very long, though, because Alice descends the stairs with a pair of suitcases, which she sets down by the door. "You two need to change!" she says. "It's going to be a long plane ride, and you don't want to wear those."

"Alice," I say, "You still haven't told us where we're going."

She just smiles and gestures upstairs again. Together, we walk into Edward's bedroom, where changes of clothes have been left out for us. When we return, both of our families are there to see us off. Alice wordlessly hands Edward an envelope before ushering us out the door and into the waiting limo. We wave out the window to them as the car pulls away towards the airport.

I turn to Edward with a grin. "So," I ask impatiently, "Where are we going?"

He takes out the envelope and pulls two plane tickets out along with a handwritten note.

_Dear Edward and Jasper,_

_We're so happy for the two of you. We are so glad that, even after everything you've suffered, you found each other. It's clear that you both love each other very much, and if anyone out there deserves a fairytale ending, it's you two. We wanted to tell you how much we love you both, and we hope you have fun on your honeymoon. Most of all, we wish you long and happy lives together._

_Love,  
The Whitlock-Cullen family._

Underneath this, each member of our collective family has signed their name, along with a little message. I glance over some of them and laugh. In Emmett's messy handwriting is a note that says "Don't have too much fun."

Edward laughs too as he pulls the tickets to the front and shows them to me. "We're going to Rome."

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**Well there you have it. Our cuties are starting off on a jet-setting adventure!**** As always, you reviews make me smile, so please let me know what you think!**

~TheSongSmith


	39. When In Rome

**Yay for updates! This chapter details the first day of our favorite couple's honeymoon, and, believe me, there's a lot that happens, including some cuddling, teasing and some awesome honeymoon sex. Read on!**

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**JPOV**

I wonder how long you have to know someone before you can say that you know everything about them. For example, I've known Edward for almost a year, but today I found out something new about him: Edward Cullen is a nervous flyer.

Halfway to Rome, our plane goes through a turbulent patch, and Edward jumps. The expression on his face is hysterical, but I hold in my laughter because I know he's scared. Instead, I put an arm around him. "It's okay, Ed. It was just a rough patch. We're not falling out of the sky."

"Not yet we're not," he mumbles uneasily.

The plane shakes again, and Edward, terrified, latches onto me for dear life. "Edward, listen to me," I say calmly. "This is just something that happens with planes sometimes."

"You know what else happens with planes sometimes, Jazz? They FALL OUT OF THE SKY!" he hisses.

I sigh and pull him into a hug. "Honey, you need to relax and breathe. I promise you, we're not going to fall out of the sky. We're going to land safely in Rome and enjoy our honeymoon, but we can't do that if you have a heart attack first, so you need to calm down, okay?"

He nods and I rub his back soothingly as he slowly relaxes. We stay like that for the rest of the flight, and, though Edward whimpers softly after each bump, he's at least stopped hyperventilating. When we finally land in Rome, Edward's still got his eyes firmly shut. I run my hand lightly through his hair to get his attention. "You can relax now, it's over," I tell him gently.

He blinks up at me and smiles a little sheepishly. "Sorry about that," he mutters, staring down at his lap.

I carefully reach out and pull his chin up, kissing him sweetly. "Don't be," I answer. "I got to hold you the whole time, so I'm happy. But I reserve the right to drug you next time," I tease.

He swats my arm as I laugh, but neither of us really cares. All that matters is that we're in Rome, together, on our honeymoon. We quickly find our luggage and walk out of the airport hand-in-hand. It's the middle of the morning here, and we decide to check into our hotel. We head up to the room, and I try to go in, but Edward stops me. "Wait!" he says, "There's something we have to do! Put the bags down."

His sudden excitement makes me curious, so I drop our bags in the hallway. Without warning, he suddenly scoops me up bridal-style, and I squeak, which makes him laugh. "What on earth are you doing?" I ask.

"Carrying you across the threshold of our hotel room," he replies matter-of-factly.

"Yes, I can see that. I mean _why_ are you carrying me across the threshold of our hotel room?"

He looks at me as if this should be obvious. "Because it's tradition…duh!" he says, putting me down on the bed and going back out to retrieve our bags.

I sit, a little stunned, as he closes the door behind him. "Wait," I say, "Why do you get to carry me instead of me carrying you?"

He rolls his eyes and plops down next to me. "Because you carried me across the Atlantic Ocean!"

"A plane carried you across the Atlantic Ocean."

He shrugs. "Well yeah, but I spent most of the time in your lap, so technically…"

I press my lips to his, cutting him off. When I pull back, I shake my head at him. "You are so weird. I mean, I love you, but you're so weird."

He smiles at that. "I love you too. So what are we going to do today?"

"Hmmm…I have a few ideas," I tell him, planting soft kisses down the side of his neck.

He laughs. "We're in one of the most beautiful and interesting cities in the world, and all you want to do is have sex with me?"

"Well duh!" I whisper, continuing my trail across his collar.

He groans as he pulls away. "Jazz, baby, you know I want to. I want it so much. But we can't just yet." He leans close to my ear. "I have a plan," he whispers. "It's going to make it a million times better when we finally get our hands on each other tonight. But you have to behave until then."

I groan a little, his tone going straight to my cock. "And what does this plan entail?"

"I can't tell you yet," he murmurs, "But you'll find out soon enough as long as you promise to behave. Do you promise?"

His hot breath on my ear and the implications of his words have me agreeing before I fully understand what I'm doing. "I promise, I'll be good!" I almost whine.

He kisses my cheek lightly. "Good. Now come on, we've got some sightseeing to do!"

Edward takes me by the hand and practically drags me out of the hotel. "Ed, where are we going?" I ask.

He grins at me. "I don't know yet!"

I feel like I should be more concerned about this, but Edward puts a hand around my waist and starts walking down the street, so I follow. Soon he stops in front of a small café. "Let's get something to eat."

Inside, Edward orders sandwiches for us in his perfect Italian. "I hope you're planning on doing that tonight," I tell him.

"Oh yes," he replies, "because I know what that does to you, _il mio amore._"

My breath hitches at those few words, and I'm not entirely sure I can keep up my end of the bargain. As I'm trying to take my mind off of all the things he could do with that talented mouth of his, I feel a light touch on the inside of my thigh. At first I think it is an accident, but Edward's fingers continue to stroke up and down, and I can feel myself getting harder.

"Edward, what do you think you're doing?"

He gives me that adorable crooked grin. "You said you wanted to know what the plan was," he says innocently. "I'm showing you."

His fingers continue in their slow rhythm across my skin, and I shiver as understanding dawns on me. "You're going to tease me. All day long you're going to keep me on the edge, and you're gonna do it in public because you know I won't be able to do anything about it. That's your plan, isn't it?" I ask faintly.

"_Si, Tesoro_. But you left out the part about having mind-blowing sex tonight."

All through this, he continues stroking my thigh. "This really isn't fair!" I whine, trying to control my hormones. "Edward, someone's going to see!"

He chuckles at that. "No one's going to see anything, Jazz. I can be discreet. In fact, if you didn't look so startled, I wouldn't know anything was happening at all. Besides, you already promised to behave, and as long as you do, this will stay our own private game." He pouts a little after this, and all it takes is one look at his face to know that I can't refuse him his fun.

"Fine," I mumble, though I know I'm going to regret agreeing to this later. "But you suck."

He laughs. "I will later," he growls in my ear, and it takes all my effort not to jump him right there on the table.

_Come on Jasper,_ I remind myself, _control yourself!_ Edward's got the biggest grin on his face. "I hate you," I mumble.

He laughs again. "You love me."

"Well yeah, but you still suck!" I insist. "And it's not fair that you get to tease me, but I can't do the same to you!"

He considers this for a moment. "Alright, I'll tell you what. If you go along with my plan today, then tomorrow you can do anything you want to me. Better?"

I have to think about it for longer than usual, because his touch is making it really hard to think about anything else. "Alright, it's a deal. But I'm totally getting you back for this tomorrow!"

He just smiles and removes his hand as the waiter brings our food.

After lunch, Edward takes me by the hand again and we walk around the city. When he doesn't do anything else for a while, I think he might have forgotten about his plan. As usual, I'm wrong. As we're standing in a crowd around the Trevi Fountain, Edward's hand moves to casually stroke the front of my pants. Though no one is paying any attention to us, I still turn red, and a small whimper escapes me.

"Shh, _il mio innamorato_," he whispers in my ear. "Wouldn't want to draw attention to ourselves, now would we?"

That's the last thing I want to do, so I try hard to ignore the sensations happening at my crotch. Edward watches me with curiosity, and when I manage to get my breathing to an almost normal rhythm he kisses me. "Good boy, Jasper," he murmurs, sounding almost impressed. "I really thought you were gonna lose it that time."

His fingers continue to slowly stroke me, but I manage to keep a grip on my composure. Although I'll never tell him, this game he's come up with is kind of fun for me too. When we finally reach the front of the crowd, he keeps his hands to himself again, and I breathe a sigh of relief. We toss Euros into the fountain and then continue exploring the city.

"We have a little bit of time before dinner," he says. "Why don't we go pick up gifts for the family?"

"That's probably a good idea," I reply with a smirk, "Because once I get you back in that hotel room, I'm not sure I'm ever going to let you out."

He just laughs, and together we go through all the stores we can find. As we shop, Edward occasionally rubs or squeezes my ass, but I act like I don't notice.

Finally, when we've bought gifts for everyone back home, it's time for dinner. As we walk to the restaurant, he lays his head on my shoulder.

"So," I ask, "Did I behave well enough to get my reward?"

He chuckles, kissing my cheek. "Well, the day isn't over quite yet, but you've been very good so far. Keep it up just a little longer and you'll get what you want."

I groan at this. "You mean you still aren't done? Do you have any idea how hard it is to control myself knowing how close I am to getting my hands on you?"

He laughs again. "Oh, I know. Do you think it's been easy to watch you all day?" He takes my hand and presses it against the front of his jeans. I gasp as I can feel his half-hard cock through the fabric. "Believe me, I've been thinking about getting my hands on you all day," he whispers. "But you've been so good for me all day that it hardly seems fair to end our game just yet." I will myself to stay in control for just a little longer.

At the restaurant, Edward and I sit across from each other, sipping expensive wine and flirting across the table. As we're finishing dessert, I start to feel something in my nether regions. Looking down, I can see that, under the table, Edward is pressing his knee gently into my crotch, stimulating all the right places. For the first time today, my composure begins to slip, and a soft moan escapes me.

"I'm so proud of you, Jazz," he murmurs, waiting for the check and continuing to put pressure on my swelling cock.

"Oh y-yeah?" I reply, thankful for the small distraction. "W-why's that?"

He removes his knee as he pays the check and leads me outside before kissing me hard. "Because you've been such a good boy for me today. You went along with my plan all day, you didn't complain, and you handled it better than I thought you would. You demonstrated more control that I could have."

He kisses me again, passionately, and I groan as I pull away. "Ed, if you don't get me back to the hotel soon I'm going to jump you right here in the street." I tell him.

He grins at me. "Well then, I'd say it's time for my good boy to get his reward."

I shudder at his words, and we practically run to the hotel. In the elevator, Edward's foot taps impatiently as we slowly rise to our floor. The second he closes the door behind him, my fragile control breaks and I kiss him hard, pressing him up against the door. When we break apart for air, he chuckles breathlessly. "So I guess my plan worked?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact it did," I growl in his ear. "But now it's my turn. Strip and get on the bed," I order.

He grins and salutes, jumping to follow my instructions. "Yes sir," he groans. He drops his clothes next to the bed and climbs on, watching me with eyes full of lust.

I stalk towards him, stripping off my clothes as I go until I climb on next to him and capture his lips with mine, letting my hands roam over his body. He whimpers softly into the kiss as our hard cocks bump together. His fingers tangle in my hair as I trail burning kisses across his jaw and down his neck. I lean down to lick and suck on his nipples, and he takes advantage of the moment but sinking his teeth into the side of my neck before licking and kissing the mark, taking away the sting.

I moan as I reach over to the bedside table, pulling out a bottle of lube and handing it to Edward. He looks incredulously at the bottle in his hand before looking to me with wide eyes. "Y-you want me to…" he whispers, breathing too hard to finish.

I understand his surprise; most often it is he who bottoms, an arrangement that works out well for both of us. I don't mind bottoming, but Edward really enjoys it, and I love to make him happy. This time, however, is different, and I smirk at him. "Well, I think after everything you've put me through today you owe me one, darlin'." I pause. "You know, as long as you wa-" but I am cut off by Edwards lips, moving passionately against mine.

"Are you crazy?" he chuckles. "Of course I want to!" he kneels between my legs and kisses me again, pushing his weight against me until I'm lying on my back under him. I put my head back and let my fingers twist into his wild copper hair as he kisses and licks my neck, intent on covering every inch of my skin with his lips. I moan quietly as he sucks hard on my Adam's apple before continuing downwards.

As he does, I hear him open the bottle and start lubing his fingers. As he licks, sucks, and bites my nipples, making me squirm and whine, I feel his finger start to probe and spread lube around my hole. After being on both sides of this more than once, I am no longer afraid, but eager to have him inside me. Edward, however, is always slow and careful, no matter how much I plead for him to hurry up and fuck me already. But tonight he is as eager as I am, and I've learned by now how best to relax, which is why it's not long before he's got three fingers in me, pumping in and out.

Soon he is done, and as he prepares himself, he begins speaking, punctuation his words with kisses to any part of me within reach. "_Ti amo più__ di quanto tu possa__ mai sapere._" Kiss. "_Ti amo__ così tanto_." Kiss.

This sentence I know the meaning of, having heard it from Edward several times. "Then show me," I reply softly. "Let me feel how much you love me."

He smiles down at me. "_Come desideri_." And with that I feel him push slowly inside me. He trails kisses across my body as he does, and I really do feel his love with every movement.

Because of the level of arousal we kept up all day, it isn't long before we're both nearing our end. Edward is still murmuring in Italian to me. "_Sono tua__ per sempre_," he moans.

I gasp as his hard cock brushes my prostate. "Edward!" I cry out. "Fuck! I'm gonna…Ah! ...so close…oh God! I'm gonna…" I moan, desperately trying to string the proper words together.

He seems just as close. "_Io sono tuo_," he moans as I feel his release inside of me. "_Sempre e per sempre __tua_."

His words combined with the force of his release push me over the edge, and my own orgasm rips through me like a tornado, leaving me trembling and panting under him. I'm too clouded by pleasure to say anything at first. I can feel Edward cleaning me off, and I'm struck with a pang of love for him. "Ed?" I manage to croak out.

"Hmm?"

"I love you. So much. Don't ever listen to me when I tell you I hate you, because I don't. And you were right; this was totally worth your game."

He chuckles as he finishes cleaning. "_Ti amo__ troppo. __Sei bellissima__, __il mio angelo_."

He presses a gentle kiss to my forehead before pulling the blankets over me and climbing into bed. I cuddle into him, wanting him as close as possible, and I am satisfied only when his bare skin is flush with mine. Together we fall into a peaceful sleep in one of the most romantic cities in the world, and there' s no where else I'd rather be.

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**So what did you guys think? I've decided to split up the honeymoon into a few chapters to keep it going just a little longer, and I had no shortage of things to write about just on their first day! Of course, I should have been writing a research paper, but this was so much more fun! As always, please review and make me happy. Thanks for reading!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	40. On an Evening in Roma

**Hey everyone! I was so excited about this chapter that I cranked it out really fast. I hope you enjoy it!**

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**JPOV**

I wake up in Edward's arms, and it takes me a minute to remember exactly where we are, but when I do I smile. I also remember Edward's promise that, if I went along with his plan, I could do "anything I wanted" to him today, and I plan to take full advantage of his ambiguous wording. But, for now, I'm happy to lie here, comfortable in his arms, and watch him sleep. I stroke his smooth skin lightly, still not believing that this is mine. In his sleep, he responds to my touch, snuggling closer, and I giggle.

Eventually, his face scrunches and he opens his eyes, smiling at me. "Morning," he mumbles. He closes his eyes and snuggles into me sleepily.

"Edward," I say quietly, stroking his arm, "It's time to wake up!"

"Why?" he whines. "Can't we just stay like this for a while?"

I laugh. "No, we can't, you know why?" he shakes his head. "You promised me that if I behaved yesterday I could do anything I wanted to you today!"

Suddenly he is awake. "Oh really?"

I smirk at him. "Yes, and I can't wait any longer so wake up!"

He laughs. "Alright, alright, I'm up. I did promise. So what's first on the agenda?"

Instead of answering I get up. "Stay right there," I tell him. "And don't fall asleep again!" I go into the bathroom and start filling the bathtub before going back to him.

"Hey Jazz," he asks as I come to sit beside him, "Did we both sleep naked last night?"

I laugh at this. "Yeah, we did. Why?"

No reason," he replies, "I was just wondering why I'm cold."

"Okay," I say authoritatively, "There's a few rules for today." He looks up at me curiously as I continue. "Firstly, you will do whatever I tell you to do. If I forbid you from doing something, you will not do it for the rest of the day. If you are not sure if you are allowed to do something, ask. If I ask you a question, you have to answer me. Do you understand so far?"

He nods, grinning, and I know he's thinking about all of the things I'm planning. "Now pay attention," I say, "Because this next part is the most important." My tone softens a little. "I'm not going to intentionally do anything to make you uncomfortable. But if anything-and I mean anything, Ed-if anything I do makes you uncomfortable or scared or you just don't want to do it, just tell me. I'm not going to be mad or disappointed or anything. I just need to know that I'm not hurting you, okay? Because I never want to give you a reason to be afraid of me, so I need to know if I go too far."

"Okay," he agrees. "I promise I'll tell you."

I kiss him once. "Good. Now do you agree to these terms and conditions?" He nods excitedly, which makes me laugh. "Alright, then my first order is that you are forbidden from wearing clothes until further notice."

He giggles. "I can live with that."

I quickly pull the blankets off of him and scoop him up. Edward yelps and tries to cover himself. "You act like it's something I've never seen before," I laugh, which gets him laughing too. "No hiding yourself from me either," I command, and he removes his hands. When I sit him on the counter in the bathroom, he gasps. "What's wrong?" I ask, concerned.

"I'm fine," he assures me. It's just…the counter is cold!"

"Hang in there one more second and you won't be cold anymore, okay?"

He nods and I finish fixing the bath the way I want before picking him up again and stepping into the tub. He sighs in contentment as I carefully lower him into the hot water. "You know, Jazz," he murmurs as I run the soap over his skin, "This wasn't exactly what I thought you had in mind when I said 'anything', but I'm not complaining!"

"Well I thought we'd start out slow. Don't worry; this isn't all I've got up my sleeve for today."

"Can't wait," he murmurs. I begin slowly washing the soap off, and he moans softly, relaxing against the back of the tub. I smile to myself, happy that I can make him happy like this. I carefully turn him around, leaning his back against my chest, his head resting on my collarbone, as I wash his bright copper hair. He hums happily.

"Jasper?" he says after a while.

"Hmm?"

"Am I allowed to wash you?" he asks innocently.

I lean in and kiss him gently. "Yes, if you'd like to." I hand him the soap and close my eyes as his hands roam over my body. I silently vow to do this with him at least once a week from now on. It's just nice to be this close to him.

When he's done, I step out of the tub, carefully helping him out and drying him off. When we're both dry, I lead him back into the room. "Do you trust me, Edward?" I whisper.

He looks at me like I'm crazy. "Of course I do, Jazz. Haven't we already established that?" He kisses me softly, and I relax.

"Okay then," I say, pulling him to sit on the bed. "I want to try something. It's actually something I want you to do to me later. But when you do, I want you to know what it's like on the other side too. Just remember what I said; if it makes you uncomfortable or scared, tell me."

"What is it, Jazz?" he asks curiously.

You'll find out," I tell him softly. "Now lie down and close your eyes for me." Edward does as told, and I kiss him quickly before starting my plan. I attach one end of a soft terrycloth strip to each of his ankles and wrists before pulling them taut and attaching the other ends to the four bed posts. I can tell that he is curious, but he obediently keeps his eyes closed.

I admire my handiwork for a second. Edward's arms are now secured above his head, his legs spread and secured to the foot of the bed. I watch him for a moment before stroking his cheek lightly. "Open your eyes, Edward." I say softly. I watch as he looks at the ties curiously before giggling. "You're okay with this?" I ask.

He grins at me. "Yeah, I'm fine." His face clouds for a moment. "Hey Jazz, can I ask you something?" I nod. "You said you want me to do this to you, right?" Another nod. Edward hesitates. "Doesn't it remind you of…you know…what _he_ did?"

I smile at his concern. "Yeah, a little. But that was kind of my idea. So far, I've been able to replace the bad experiences with him with good ones with you. Except for the experience of being tied down. So I thought that maybe, this way, I could replace that memory with a better one, and you're the only one I'd trust to do it. But I didn't know if it was a good idea, so I thought this way, we could…try it out."

His grin grows. "That's brilliant, Jasper. And I'm so happy you want me to do it." He pauses for a moment before smirking. "Well then let's get the experiment underway, shall we?"

I smile before pressing my lips to his. I move over his cheek and jawbones and trail down his neck. He laughs. "What are you doing?" he asks.

"Something I've wanted to do for a long time." I slowly kiss every inch of skin I can reach, which makes Edward giggle and sometimes sigh. When I work my way from his bound hands all the way down to his toes, I climb onto the bed to kneel between his legs.

"I love you," he whispers, his eyes closed.

"Good," I reply. "Remember that."

I capture his mouth with mine, my hand moving slowly down to his cock. I stroke him leisurely, relishing his soft moans and gasps. I keep my pace even and painfully slow. When he tries to quicken my tempo, I use my free hand to hold his hips down while planting soft kisses down his body. He groans and I feel his balls tighten, but I'm prepared for this. I stop the motion of my hand, griping his cock firmly at the base and squeezing gently, effectively stopping his release.

I wait until his panting quiets before releasing him. "That's so not fair!" he groans.

I laugh. "That's exactly what you did to me yesterday, only I couldn't complain! Which is why my next directive is this: you are not to cum unless I give you permission."

Edward whines. "And what if I don't obey?"

"Then you'll be severely punished!" I say, trying to sound like I mean it.

He groans again. "Alright, fine. But you suck!"

"You wish," I smirk at him before kissing his forehead. "Don't dish it out if you can't take it, love. Now, what should we order for lunch?"

I have food delivered to the room. Because Edward's wrists are bound, he can't feed himself, so I do it for him. I don't mind in the slightest, and neither does he. The rest of the day passes much like that, with me bringing him to the edge many times before holding him back. His frustration grows with each passing minute, and by the time we've finished dinner he is begging for release.

"Please Jasper! I've learned my lesson, really I have! Don't you think you've tortured me enough?"

I consider this. "Almost," I tell him softly. "Be a good boy for just a little longer."

His complaints die down into quiet whimpers and moans as he tries to obey. I slip two fingers into him, slowly massaging his prostate to ramp him back up. He holds out for longer than I thought he would before his composure begins to slip. "I-I've been good, haven't I Jasper?" he asks.

I stroke his cheek lightly. "Yes, you've been very good," I agree.

He moans again as I speed up my movements a little. "I'm so close…please, Jazz, let me have this one," he pleads. "I can't stand it anymore!"

I kiss his lips before smiling at him. "I've got one final command, Edward." His eyes lock onto my face, and I know he'd do anything I asked. I hold out on him just a little longer, pausing to suck hard on a spot under his collarbone, leaving a mark. "Cum for me, Edward," I murmur. I feel him shudder beneath me before his release, hot and sticky, shoots out between us.

I kiss his overheated skin gently as he slowly comes down from his high. When he's calmed enough to regain control of language, he speaks. "Fuck, Jasper!" he whispers breathlessly. "That was…intense."

I chuckle softly. "Feel better now?" I ask.

He nods happily as I clean him up. "You still suck though!" he insists.

"You started it," I remind him. "If you hadn't have been such a fucking tease yesterday, you wouldn't have given me the idea."

I untie his ankles quickly. He hisses slightly as I free his wrists, his muscles a little strained from being held in one position all day, but once I rub them a bit, he's fine. "Did you enjoy yourself today?" I ask.

He grins at me. "Yeah, as much of an ass as you were, I enjoyed it. And I guess I could sort of see how I might have maybe deserved it a little if that's what you felt like all day yesterday."

"Well, now we're even," I tell him as I wrap him in my arms, turning off the light. "You're beautiful, you know that?" I murmur lightly. "So beautiful just lying there for me."

He laughs quietly. "I love you, Jazz," he whispers. "Thank you."

"I love you too, Ed," I murmur back. "I always will."

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**So I know this one was a tad bit more intense than other chapters, but I kind of like it. Please let me know what you think in a review!**

**~TheSongSmith**


	41. Sex on the Beach

**Hey guys! sorry this one took so long, I've been super busy lately. But there's some good stuff in this one, so enjoy!**

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**EPOV**

Spending time with Jasper in one of my favorite places in the world is an experience I'll never forget. Getting to be close to him without the usual distractions of everyday life is nice. His idea remains lodged in the back of my head over the next couple of days, but for a while we just make a routine of exploring the city during the day and being close to each other at night.

I understand Jasper's reasons for wanting to do this. It's actually a brilliant plan. But I'm not entirely sure I can do this. Whenever I think about it, I can't help but think of the ways this could go wrong. I could hurt him, or scare him. Hell, the poor guy could have a panic attack, and then all we've worked for would be ruined! How's a guy supposed to deal with pressure like that?

I'm thinking about a solution to this problem as I watch him sleep beside me, and as he stirs I think I've almost got it. He yawns and stretches before leaning over to kiss me. When he pulls back, he frowns. "What's wrong?" he asks. "You've got your serious thinking face on."

This pulls me out of my own thoughts and I smile at him, partly because I love him, and partly because I think I have a solution to my problem. "Hmm? Oh, nothing. I was just lost in thought." I hesitate. "Hey Jazz, about this whole idea of yours. You're still sure you want to do this?"

He laughs. "Yes, and no matter how many times you ask me, it's not going to change." He sighs, running a hand affectionately through my hair. "Seriously though, that's like the fourth time you've asked me about it," he reminds me. "Come on; tell me what's going on."

With a little more coaxing from him, I explain. "It's just that…I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you. And I could never live with myself if I did!"

Jasper just chuckles for some unexplainable reason. "Really, that's what this is about?" He leans up and kisses me again. "Do you think I'm stupid, Ed?"

The way he says this makes me think he wants an answer. "Um…What?" I ask stupidly.

"Answer the question, Edward. Do you think I'm stupid?" he repeats slowly.

"Of course not," I answer, wondering where he's going with this.

"So don't you think that an educated person like me would have thought about this plan in great detail and considered all of the pros and cons?"

Um…I guess so…" I manage.

"So doesn't it stand to reason that, if I believed that there was even a slight possibility that you could hurt me, I wouldn't have asked you to do this?" he prods. I stare at him blankly, and he laughs. "Honestly, sometimes I think I know you better than you know yourself. And I know you're not going to hurt me."

"But," I insist, "You couldn't possibly know that!"

He grins. "But I _do_ know that."

"How could you know that?" I ask.

He shakes his head. "You said it yourself, Ed. You couldn't live with yourself. You couldn't hurt me if your life depended on it. I know that for a fact." He snuggles into me as if to prove his point. "It'll be perfectly fine, Ed. Just go with it, okay? Don't think so much. You think too much sometimes."

I sigh and put an arm around him. "Alright," I concede. "You win."

He smiles again. "If I knew it would be that easy I would have won ages ago!" he teases. "Now get dressed; we have places to go!"

I raise an eyebrow at him. "We do?"

He huffs. "Yes, we do. I know a place I want to take you, so come on!"

I chuckle. "Jazz, how is it that you know this place when you've never been here before?"

He glares at me with mock-offense. "Just because I don't get around as much as you doesn't mean I can't know places." He pauses and I wait. "Oh, alright, fine. I asked Alice, okay?" I laugh as he pulls me out of bed. "Do you want to see it or not?" he says, huffing.

"Alright, alright, I'm getting dressed!"

After much bothering by Jasper, I'm finally dressed, and he pulls me out of the hotel with record speed. He looks to both sides of the street before saying "It's this way!" and pulling me by the hand.

"Um, Jasper…Are you sure about this?" I ask cautiously. He doesn't seem to know where we're going any more than I do.

He turns and sighs impatiently. "Yes Edward, I'm sure." He kisses me hard, right there in the middle of the street. "Now stop doubting me and come on!" I look around for a moment to see who saw that, and he follows my gaze. "I've noticed that people here don't stare at us quite as much as people home do."

I shrug. "Well, Europeans are more open about this kind of thing. People in Washington…not so much."

He grins and points to a couple who are making out on a bench. "Could you imagine what people back home would look like if we did that?" he laughs. "I'm sorry, but no one, gay or straight, should be allowed to do that in public. It's just gross."

I giggle and allow him to lead me through the city, through a part I've never been to before. We keep walking through a residential section of the city until we come to a patch of woods. "Jazz, where on Earth are we going?" I ask finally.

"It's just through here, Ed!" he says excitedly, pointing to the woods.

"Do we have to go through the creepy woods to get there?" I ask.

He laughs. "They're not creepy, and yes we do. Don't worry; I'll defend you from the bunnies and squirrels."

I shove him lightly, but follow him closely anyway. We walk peacefully for a while before Jasper stops and puts a hand over my eyes. "We're just about there," he tells me, "But I don't want you to look yet, okay?"

"Alright, Jazz. I'm not looking, I promise. But how to do expect me to walk like this?"

He laughs. "Just follow me, okay? I won't let you walk into a tree or anything." He takes my arm and carefully instructs me, and we walk for a few more feet before he stops me again. "Alright, Ed, take off your shoes," he says calmly.

"…Excuse me?"

I can almost feel him rolling his eyes. "I promise you'll like it. Just take one shoe off and step forward for me. Please?"

I sigh and take off one of my shoes. "You're lucky I love you," I mumble, and he laughs. Surprisingly, when I put my foot down again, it's not the dirt trail I feel. "Jasper, where are we?" I ask again.

"You'll find out in a minute! Take off the other shoe," he says.

I do as told, and my other foot meets the same softer surface. He walks me forward a few steps before removing his hand from my eyes. What I see is beautiful. We're standing on an empty beach. It's not an ocean beach, just one on the coast of a lake, but the sand is soft and warm under my feet, and it looks like no one has been here ever before.

"Do you like it?" Jasper asks quietly.

I turn and smile at him. "I love it, Jazz. Thank you. But…where are we, exactly?"

"It's a little place I read about online. I thought it would be nice to spend a day away from the crowds," he explains. "Tourists tend to stick to the city, and this place is a little far for them to wander. It's only used by some of the local kids when they're not in school. And, lucky for us, they are in school. Which means…" He trails off.

"That we get the whole place to ourselves." I finish. "It's beautiful, Jazz." I lean in and press my lips to his slowly, feeling him smile into the kiss.

"So, what do you say to spending today here?" he asks hopefully.

I hug him tightly. "I'd say that sounds like a great idea. And I love you."

He grins and pulls a blanket out of the backpack he carries and sets it up on the beach. He also produces a cooler from the bag. When I look inside, I see various food and drinks. "When did you have time to pack all this?" I ask, amazed.

He shrugs. "I planned ahead."

We sit together on the blanket for a while, just enjoying each others company, before Jasper pulls something else out of his bag and drops it in my lap. I examine them closely. "Are these my swim trunks?" I ask. He nods, smiling. "And…why do you have my swim trunks?"

"Because we're going swimming," he replies matter-of-factly.

Jasperrr," I whine, "Do I have to?"

He laughs. "Yes, love. What's the point in learning if you can't use what you've learned?" I grumble about it some more before he sighs. "You can do this, Ed. We both know it. So stop standing in your own way and let's go!"

"But…where am I supposed to change?" I try, hoping to find a flaw in his plan.

He just looks at me like I'm crazy. "Seriously?" he chuckles. "I mean, it's not like I've never seen you naked before, and we're miles away from anyone else."

I sigh and decide to give in. "Alright, I'll do it. But…you're coming with me, right?"

He grins again, pulling his own swim trunks out of his bag. "Of course I'm coming with you!"

When we're both changed, Jasper takes my hand and leads me to the edge of the water. I stare down at it apprehensively. "You're sure about this, Jazz?" I ask.

"I'm very sure," he replies patiently.

I look down at the water, wondering what kinds of things are hiding underneath the surface. "But, what if there are…alligators or crocodiles or something in there?"

Jasper just chuckles at me. "Have you forgotten that you're talking to a country boy?" he asks. "Alligators and crocodiles live in swamps in the south. It gets too cold for them here. Besides, I already did some research and I found out that the only living things in this lake are the plants."

"Not even fish?" I ask worriedly.

He shakes his head. "Not even fish. Now relax and go with it. You'll be fine, and I'm right here."

I take a deep breath before taking a hesitant step forward where tiny waves lap against the shore. When the water hits my foot I gasp and jump back so suddenly that I would have fallen if Jasper hadn't been there to catch me. "You okay?" he asks, concerned.

I nod, righting myself. "Yeah, it's just…I wasn't expecting it to be so cold!"

He smiles. "Well it's no heated pool, but you'll get used to it." I look at him doubtfully, and he sighs. "Okay, why don't we do it together?" He wraps an arm around my waist in what I believe is partially an effort to comfort me and partially a way to stop me from backing out. "One step at a time," he murmurs.

He steps forward a little, the water washing over his toes, and I feel the pressure from his arm increase slowly until I take a step up to match him. I gasp again as the water rushes over my feet, but his firm hold around my waist keeps me from stepping back. "There you go," he says softly. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"

"No," I admit, "Not as bad as I thought it was going to be. But I'm still not sure about this whole thing."

He nods understandingly. "We've got all day. We can go slowly so that you can get used to it if you'd like."

I smile at his thoughtfulness. "Yeah, that would be good, I think."

I once again consider how lucky I am to have found a man willing to put up with my insecurities and fears. Not many men would be as tolerant and kind about them as Jasper is. He stands patiently beside me for a few minutes while I work up the nerve to go farther in. After I've relaxed a little, Jasper takes another step forward, and the light pressure along my lower back tells me it's time to follow. When I do, the water reaches to mid-calf level. "Still okay?" he asks.

I smile a little at him. "I'm still standing, aren't I?"

He laughs and nuzzles my neck affectionately. "Well, take your time. We're in no hurry."

The next step I take is not a result of Jasper's coaxing, but my own willpower, and I can tell he is surprised. He kisses my cheek as the water rises up past my knees. "Very good, Edward," he murmurs, grinning.

He steps forward again but does not pull me with him. There is a bigger drop off in front of me. The water reaches the top of Jasper's bathing suit, and, though he keeps an arm around me, he waits for me to follow of my own accord. I take a moment to collect myself before stepping up to him. I gasp as the water hits my bare stomach, but when Jasper pulls me close to him, all doubt and uncertainty are gone. "See, I knew you could do it," he says proudly.

I smile at him. "But Jasper, I'm just standing," I mutter.

He considers this. "True. Well, let's see if we can go all the way. You remember what I taught you about treading water, right?" I nod. "Then let's give it a shot." He tells me to stay in place as he walks out a little farther until he drifts away from the bottom. "Alright, Ed," he says, "Come out here with me."

I take one cautious step forward, then another. When I'm a few feet away from him, I feel the bottom drop off sharply, and I stop, suddenly nervous again.

"Come on, Ed," he says softly. "You can do it. It's no different from when we did it in the pool."

I sigh, amazed at how easily he's convinced me to do this. I take a deep breath and close my eyes before stepping off into the unknown. My body apparently remembers Jasper's lesson, because it moves of its own accord to tread the water before I can even think about it. When I realize that I'm not sinking to the bottom like a stone, as I expected to do, I open my eyes to find him grinning. I can't help but smile back. "Yes, yes," I concede as I roll my eyes, "You were right."

He chuckles. "See, you always ask why I trust you so much. This is your answer." When I stare at him, puzzled, he explains. "You trusted me enough to do this. Anyone who puts that much faith in someone else is guaranteed to appreciate it when someone else puts faith in them."

I lean over to kiss him on the cheek. "I guess I see your point."

We float around for a while before heading back to the beach to eat and enjoy the sunshine. It turns out to be one of the nicest and most peaceful days of my life. As the sun sets behind the water, Jasper gently presses his lips to mine. "I love you," he whispers against my skin.

"I love you too," I whisper back, running my tongue along his bottom lip. "Never forget that."

I deepen the kiss, pulling him as close to me as possible. What starts as slow and tender slowly escalates until the movement of our lips becomes urgent and our fingers roam over each other's bodies. When we break apart, we're both panting. As our breaths mingle in the few inches between us, I notice a spark of amusement in Jasper's otherwise lustful eyes. "Hey Ed," he murmurs, leaning his forehead against mine, "I know you were planning on going through with our plan tonight, but I think I have a better idea."

I raise an eyebrow at him, still winded. "Oh?" I reply breathlessly.

He smirks. "How about we postpone the plan until later and just continue this right here?"

For a moment, I consider what he's proposing. "You want to have sex _here_?" I ask.

"God, yes," he almost moans. "I don't think I can wait until we get back to the hotel before I jump you. And besides, no one's gonna see us. There's no one around for miles!"

I watch his expression carefully, and I see a hint of urgency there. Normal, rational Edward would never agree to such an idea. But he's gone missing for a while, and all that's left is horny Edward. And horny Edward wants Jasper. Now.

"Jasper Whitlock-Cullen," I whisper, "You naughty boy." I quickly flip us so that I'm leaning over him and growl playfully as I pin him to the blanket. He could easily shake me off, but this change of plans has ignited something in him, and he makes no move to fight me. "Oh, fuck, Jasper. I want you so bad," I groan softly before nipping at his ear.

A soft whimper escapes him. "You have me," he breathes. "Anything, Ed. Anything you want." Desperation leaks into his tone. "I just need you."

"Happy to oblige, my love," I murmur as I trail soft kisses down his neck while palming his growing erection through his swim trunks.

Jasper moans loudly, his fingers twisting into my hair. "Front zippered compartment," he mutters.

I reach over to his backpack and look into the indicated compartment. Inside, I find the same bottle of lube that resides in our bedside table. "You're like a Boy Scout," I laugh. "Always prepared."

He laughs as he hooks his fingers in the top of my swim trunks and slides them down. I remove them the rest of the way, chucking them to the side, before helping him remove his. I press my body against his, letting out a groan as his skin, warm from the sun, makes contact with mine. Reaching down, I stroke his cock slowly, relishing his moans. "Edward…" he gasps. "Please! I need you."

I kiss a trail down his chest and stomach. "I know, love. Just relax and let me take care of you, okay?"

"Okay," he breathes as I dip my tongue into his slit, tasting the pre-cum gathered there. I carefully push his knees up and out, giving me easier access to him. He moans softly as I slowly spread the lube around his hole with one hand, the other still stroking his cock, and I watch him close his eyes and tip his head back as he relaxes under my touch. As I gently slip two fingers into him, I feel him shudder. He whimpers quietly.

"You alright, Jazz?" I ask in a hushed murmur. The moment seems too perfect to ruin with a normal level of sound.

Jasper nods enthusiastically. "Feels so good…please, don't stop!" he pleads.

I chuckle lightly into his skin, feeling him shiver as my breath washes over him. "Not planning on it, my love," I reassure him. Gliding my fingers smoothly in and out of his body, stroking his prostate in time with my hand on his cock, I watch him intently as he moans and writhes. He is truly beautiful when he's free like this. A steady stream of sound flows from his parted lips as he surrenders to the pleasure I'm giving him. His hand reaches out blindly until it wraps around my cock. I groan as he begins stroking me lovingly, his name spilling from my mouth as almost a whine. I once again capture his lips with mine, kissing him gently as my hands continue their ministrations below. He cries out, arching up off the blanket, as both the hand stroking his cock and the fingers moving smoothly into him increase their tempo.

"Fuck…Ed…" he pants, almost rhythmically.

I laugh softly. "So beautiful, Jazz," I hum back. This time it is he who leans up to kiss me. He runs his tongue along my bottom lip, and I gladly open to him. When I increase the pressure on his prostate, he whimpers hard into my mouth, shuddering. I slow my pace and pull back just a fraction of an inch to look at him. "You okay?" I ask softly. He nods fervently, and I chuckle. "Deep breaths," I remind him, my lips caressing his heaving chest. I keep my pace slow for a few minutes, letting him catch his breath. He continues to stroke my cock lazily, making it harder to think clearly.

When he's breathing properly again, I open to him once more, and he explores my mouth eagerly, his free hand twisting into my hair. Slower this time, I increase my pace, watching him carefully. When I pull away from him again, it's because I have an idea. He whines softly at the loss of my lips, and I chuckle at his impatience. I rest my cheek against his, my lips close to his ear, and I grin. "Do you know how stunning you look, laid out for me like this?" I murmur, feeling him shiver. "I could sit here all day and listen to you moan; watch you squirm. And I love knowing that I'm the one who did this to you."

He moans softly. "This really isn't fair, you know!" he whines.

I giggle. "Well who said I was playing fair?" I tease before continuing. "Now, another thing I love is how easily your body takes me in. Can you feel my fingers moving inside you?" I ask sweetly. A soft moan is the only response. "And you know another thing? I love that your hot, tight ass is all mine." A low whimper escapes him as I continue to murmur anything that comes to mind.

Between what my hands are doing and my words, it's not long before I have him teetering on the edge again. As he gets closer to his tipping point, his words become less coherent. Now his speech consists mostly of moans and whimpers as I watch the pleasure build up inside of him.

"Now, tell me, Jazz… Is there anything else you want?" I ask with a smirk.

He groans, biting his lip as he struggles to speak coherently. "I w-want your…c-cock…" he stutters.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" I ask innocently. "Not sure I heard you correctly."

He growls in frustration. "I want…I want you to fuck me!" he yells. "I want you cock inside me, now!"

I can't help but laugh. "Alright, alright, no need to inform the whole world. I think there might be some people in China who didn't hear that."

"Oh shut up, you're not funny!" he insists, shoving me weakly. "Now help me…please…fuck, Edward I need you…now!"

His irritation is abruptly cut off as I rub a little harder on his prostate and he moans. "Okay," I say, picking up the bottle of lube, "But would you mind helping me out? My hands are a little…busy." I grin at him and hand him the bottle, humming softly as he rubs it onto my cock.

When he's done, I slowly pull my fingers out, and he whines at the loss of contact. Not letting his disappointment linger, I quickly pulls his legs up onto my shoulders. We moan in unison as I gently thrust into him. My thrusts get deeper and faster, urged on by his moans. I close my eyes, enjoying the feeling of being inside him.

I get so lost in the sensation that I gasp when Jasper suddenly slips a lubed finger into me. I open my eyes to find him smirking at me. "Can't let me have all the fun," he murmurs. He sits up halfway, using his free hand to support himself, and gasps sharply when his new position forces my cock to press harder against his prostate. "Ed, I…fuck…I can't hold on much l-longer…" he mumbles as he slips another finger into my ass.

I moan involuntarily. "Me either," I reply.

He grins at me. "You first," he whispers as he rubs his fingers hard over my prostate. I shudder and whimper as I spill deep in his ass, and my reaction is what sends him over the edge after me, his cum shooting between us.

When I'm spent, I collapse on top of him, not caring that I'm only getting myself messier. His fingers continue their slow rhythm for a minute before falling still, but not pulling out. I haven't pulled out of him either, and for now we're content like this. He wraps his free hand around my waist, pulling me closer as he lies, panting, beneath me. I close my eyes and match my breathing to the rise and fall of his chest.

"Well," he murmurs after a moment, "I suppose we can cross 'sex on the beach' off our bucket lists."

I laugh softly. "Was 'have sex on the beach' really on your bucket list?" I ask.

He shrugs. "If I had a bucket list, then it would probably be on it. It just sounded like an appropriate expression to use at the moment."

We lay there in silence for a few more minutes before I speak up again. "Hey Jazz?"

"Hmm?" he answers.

"Do you remember your reaction the first time I touched you, out behind the barn that day?"

It takes him a minute to locate the memory, but when he does, he chuckles. "Yeah, I remember. I didn't understand how you could make me act like that with just a simple touch."

I smile at the memory of running my fingers over his skin and hearing his gasp. "I barely touched you, and it wasn't even sexual at the time, and I remember wanting to touch you again, just so that I could watch you again. I don't think I'd ever seen someone react as strongly to a touch like that as you did."

"Well, it might not have been sexual," he concedes, "But it was sensual. To me, anyway. I was naked at the time, if I recall correctly. And no one had ever touched me like that before, or looked at me the way you did. It was a simple touch, but it was gentle and caring, and I knew then how much you loved me. No one else ever made me feel that way, and it surprised me so much that I couldn't help myself."

I kiss him gently. "At first I just thought it was because it was the first time you really enjoyed someone's touch. I thought it would go away when you got used to it. I have to say, I'm glad I was wrong."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Oh?"

I grin up at him. "Yeah. I love being able to get the same intense reaction out of you with one touch." I punctuate this answer with a gentle stroke of my fingers along his side, making him shiver and moan softly. "See?" I murmur. He laughs. "It's kind of cool, actually," I continue. "Before that day, I'd never had someone trust me so completely that they'd surrender all of themselves. But then you came along, and when you reacted like you did, I knew that you trusted me enough to give up control over yourself. It meant a lot to me. It still does, that you still trust me enough to let go."

His fingertips lightly stroke my back. "You've never given me any reason not to trust you," he replies softly. "I wasn't afraid of letting you in. And I knew, after you called my reaction 'beautiful' that day, that I never had to worry about you taking advantage of me. I knew I could let my guard down without being afraid."

"It was beautiful," I insist. "I mean, you're always beautiful, but even more so when you just let go. I love watching you when you let your body take over and stop thinking so much. It is, to put it simply, stunning."

I watch him blush, lightly stroking his cheek. "Well, you make it pretty hard to think," he mumbles, "When you're being all sexy like that. And then you start talking and its over for me. I can't resist it."

I laugh, kissing his cheek. "I'll remember that. But right now, we should probably get going back to the hotel."

"No!" he groans. "Can't we just stay like this?"

"I wish we could, but pretty soon this mess is going to dry, and then we'll be sticky and cold. And I'd much rather take a hot bath with you than wash off in the lake. But I can't get up until you decide to take your fingers out of my ass."

He chuckles softly. "Yeah, that could be a bit of a problem." His fingers move gently inside me for a moment, more of a caress than a thrust, before he pulls them out. I feel oddly empty at their loss, but I slowly slide my now soft cock from him and start pulling my clothes on. When we're both dressed, we make the slow trek back to the hotel, arms around each others' waists.

Back in the room, I step into the bathtub with Jasper following behind me. He pulls me close, and I grow worried. "What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing," he murmurs. "I just like to be close to you. I don't feel complete any other way."

I manage to convince him to move far enough away that we can both be cleaned up, but once we climb in bed he snuggles up to me. "Hey, Ed?" he whispers.

"Yeah, Jazz?"

"Did you feel the same way I felt when we were connected like that? Like you were finally whole and where you were supposed to be?" he asks hesitantly.

I press a soft kiss to his forehead. "Yeah, Jazz, I did. I know what you mean. Sometimes I feel like I'm not really myself unless you're close. When I look back on my life before you, I can't understand how I ever lived without you."

He smiles sleepily. "Exactly. It's like me were made for each other, don't you think?"

"I think you're right," I murmur. "Now go to sleep. Tomorrow's another day. I love you."

"Love you too," he mumbles. Five minutes later, soft snores come from him. I hold him tighter, thinking about what he said about being whole. He really did make my life whole, and so much happier.

And, as I close my eyes, I dream of Jasper; of the way he makes me feel. I dream of his crooked grin, and the way he looks at me sometimes, like he just can't believe I'm real. I dream about being connected to him; of belonging to him forever. And I drift off to sleep with a smile still painted on my face.

* * *

**Woo! That was twelve pages of pure awesome, am I right? I know I said the story would be wrapping up soon, but I couldn't resist dragging it out just a _little_ longer, and what better way to do that than with more sexytimes? These boys are so much fun to play with, and I'll probably end up writing more stories about them after I finish this one. That being said, probably 2 or 3 more chapters to go here, which is both exciting and sad, but never fear, I promise they'll be worth it! As always, please review because it makes me smile :)**

**Love,  
TheSongSmith  
**


	42. The Plan

**Hey guys! I'm back! This one is shorter than the most recent ones, but it's still important. I'll blabber more at the end! Enjoy!**

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JPOV

I wake up to find Edward watching me intently. "What's going on?" I ask sleepily.

He smiles as he breaks out of his thoughts. "Nothing," he says, "Just thinking about you."

"Are you still worrying about this whole plan?"

He shakes his head, grinning. "No, no. I made a plan to fix that. I'm okay."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Oh? Do I get to know what this plan is?"

He shakes his head. "Not yet." He pulls me close, his lips crashing into mine.

"What's gotten into you?" I ask when we break apart.

"Nothing," he assures me. "It's just…I'm in Rome, on my honeymoon, with an amazing man that I love more than anything, who loves me just as much, and who trusts me completely." He shrugs. "It doesn't get much better than that."

I lean up to kiss him gently. "You're right, it's amazing. I love you."

"I love you too," he murmurs back.

"So," I say casually, "What do you say we get started?"

Edward grins, quickly moving to hover over me. He kisses me, gentler this time. "Okay, he murmurs. "I'll do this, but first we need to set up some rules. I don't want to hurt you."

I nod, smiling. "That's just like you," I mumble, which makes him laugh.

"Okay," he starts, "If anything I do hurts or makes you uncomfortable, I want you to stop me. I need to know if I'm doing something wrong. I want this to be enjoyable for you too. And I promise I won't be upset if you decide you don't want to do it. I understand."

I run a hand lightly through his messy hair. "I know that, Ed. I wouldn't have asked you to do this if I didn't think you'd understand. I trust you."

He nods, kissing me once more before climbing off of the bed and rummaging around for the strips of cloth I used on him. When he finds them, he lays them on the bed before pulling the blanket off of me. I shiver, remembering that we both fell asleep naked last night.

Edward giggles. "Don't worry," he assures me, "You won't be cold for long."

I chuckle at his promise as he gently moves one of my arms up over my head. He attaches one end to my wrist, and the other to one of the bedposts. I watch carefully as he plays with the parts around my wrist. "What are you doing?" I ask curiously.

"Making sure it's loose enough that you can get out," he replies.

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of _restraining_ me?"

He smiles, sitting next to me on the bed. "Not really," he says. When I continue to look puzzled, he explains. "I know that the reason you want to do this is because, when he did it, you were completely at his mercy. You had no control over anything, and I know that the illusion of being powerless is important to this. But, for days now, I've been worrying that I'll get carried away. I was terrified that I wouldn't be in control of myself, and that I wouldn't listen if you told me to stop. And, if I didn't stop, you'd never trust me the same way ever again, and I just couldn't live with myself if that happened."

I pull him down to me with my free hand to kiss him. "That's what you've been worrying about?"

He nods. "Yes. So I came up with this solution. If the restraints are loose enough that you can get out on your own, I don't have to worry so much. This way, you're still tied, but if it gets too real, you can stop everything yourself."

"This really means a lot to you, doesn't it?" I observe softly.

"Yes," he agrees. "It's important to me that you're never really powerless. We can act that way, but I never want to really control you. That's not the way relationships work, and that's not the way I think of you."

I smile, stroking his cheek lightly. "I know that, Ed. That's one of the million reasons I love you, and it's one of the biggest reasons I trust you. I understand why you're frightened by this. I'm a little frightened too, but not of you. I know that you'd never take advantage of me or do anything to me against my will. You care about me so much that I have no reason to be afraid of you. It's going to be fine."

"I know," he sighs. "But that's not going to stop me from worrying."

I chuckle. "I know that too. But, if it makes you feel better, I'll agree to your compromise."

He smiles finally. "Okay then." He continues fussing with the strap around my wrist until he's happy with it before moving on to the other wrist. It seems to take forever. When he's finally done, he takes a step back to look at me. I feel heat rise in my face as his eyes roam over me. When he glances back up at me, he grins. "You're really adorable when you blush," he remarks, his fingers lightly stroking my cheek.

I watch him carefully as he looks me over once more before letting his fingertips graze my skin, following the path of his gaze. He closes his eyes as his fingers barely touch me, making me shiver. He starts at my face, his touch slow and deliberate, almost as if he's trying to memorize the texture of my skin.

When he opens his eyes, he smiles again. "I don't know where I want to start," he muses. His eyes roam over my body again before deciding on a starting point. Edward slowly leans down to press a soft, sweet kiss to the center of my stomach. He holds my gaze as he plants another one over my heart. I sigh softly, closing my eyes and tipping my head back as I enjoy the sensation. Taking his time, Edward slowly covers my skin with his lips before bringing them back to mine.

"I love you," I whisper against his lips.

He grins. "I love you too."

He doesn't really have to say it, though. I can feel it in the way his lips move passionately against mine and the way he touches me. Deep down, in my heart, I know it. I've always known it. His fingers caress my skin, leaving a burning trail behind. His hands seem everywhere at once, setting me ablaze, and I want nothing more than to pull him close.

When we break apart again, I smile up at him. "I didn't realize how much I'd miss being able to touch you until I couldn't."

He smiles back, pecking my cheek, giving me time to catch my breath. "Soon enough," he breathes against my skin. "But, I have to admit, I kind of like being able to touch you like this, with nothing in the way. I love watching you. You react so strongly to my touch; it's beautiful." He punctuates this with a light stroke along my side, and I shudder, a soft moan escaping me. "Just like that," he grins.

I chuckle softly. "It's all your fault," I murmur. "If you weren't so damn irresistible, I'd have some shred of self control!"

He laughs. "Self control is no fun!"

He illustrates his point by quickly, and without warning, swallowing my cock. I can't help myself; I feel my hips buck up of their own accord, seeking the heat of his mouth. He is caught off guard and gags for a moment, pulling back. The sound immediately brings me back to reality. "Oh God, Ed I'm so sorry…I didn't mean to, it's just…"

He waves off my concern. "No, it's alright, love. I just wasn't expecting it. I'm fine." He kisses me once more before kneeling between my knees, his mouth hovering achingly close to my cock. "Don't hold back," he whispers. I shiver as his hot breath washes over my cock, which grows impossibly harder.

He takes me into his mouth again, locking eyes with me as his tongue swirls playfully around the head before he plunges down further. "Fuck, Ed…your mouth is so talented…" I mumble. He laughs around my cock and the vibrations shoot through me. I can't help the whimper that spills from my lips. Ever so slowly, Edward's mouth sinks down, enveloping me in his wet heat. Keeping his eyes locked on mine, I feel him relax the back of his throat and take all of me into his mouth. I can't tear my gaze away form his brilliant green stare, even when he swallows around the head of my cock and I scream his name. "Fuck Edward!" I moan. "Please, baby…I wanna feel you inside me…please…"

Edward pulls off my cock with a loud pop. "Anything, Jasper. Anything you want. You just have to ask."

For a moment I struggle to form coherent thoughts. "Make love to me, Edward." I pant.

He grins. "Absolutely." His fingers disappear for a moment before I feel a cold touch at my entrance. Neither of us is patient enough to do this slowly, so it isn't long before I feel him press one, then two fingers into me. They go in smoothly and easily, my body accommodating them as if they belonged there. Which, I suppose they did. He waits a little while before he slips a third into me, and I moan at the thought of what's coming. He watches me, smiling, as he prepares me. "Are you ready?" he asks in a whisper.

I nod furiously. Edward just chuckles as he gently hooks his arms under my knees and pulls my legs up. I moan, one long continuous sound, as he slowly glides into me. When his hips are flush with mine, a low growl escapes him. He pauses for only a moment before pulling out and thrusting back in hard. I moan loudly, pushing my hips up in encouragement. "Fuck," I whimper. "Ed…harder! Deeper! Please…"

He is happy to oblige, and it isn't long before I'm teetering on the edge. One look at his face is all it takes to know that Edward is right there with me, and he leans down to kiss me hard. After a moment, he whimpers into my mouth. "Fuck…Jasper," he pants. "So close!"

I grin. "Me…too…" I groan.

He holds my gaze, smiling. "Cum for me, Jasper." I obey without thinking, writhing as much as the bindings will allow as my orgasm rips through me like a tornado. I am partially aware of Edward's release, deep inside me, but I am too caught up to really think about it. I convulse uncontrollably for a few moments, breathing harshly. I vaguely feel Edward slip out of me. I lay on the bed, gasping for breath and trembling hard.

I feel him release my wrists and ankles, but I can't really move right now. He gently strokes my cheek. I open my eyes to find him smiling down at me. He chuckles softly. "Shh, baby," he murmurs. "Breathe, honey. Just take it easy." I close my eyes, trying to get my breathing under control. I feel his lips running over my skin as his fingers gently knead my muscles, trying to get me to relax. Eventually, the trembling stops, but I keep my eyes closed, enjoying the blissful haze that's spread over my brain. I can feel Edward's long fingers gently stroking my body soothingly as I come down from my high, and I am vaguely aware of being lifted up and carried someplace else. When he tries to put me down, I groan and hold tighter to him. I fell his giggle vibrate through me. "It's okay," he laughs. "I'm not going anywhere. Just let me take care of you, okay?"

I nod, mumbling something not even I can understand. Edward carefully lowers me down until I am covered in something warm. Water. The haze lifts a little bit; enough to let me understand that Edward has put me in the bathtub. I feel his hands on me again, and I relax into the touch. When the fog finally disappears, I slowly open my eyes to find him watching me intently. "Hey there," he whispers, smiling.

I grin back, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "Hi," I croak.

He laughs. "Are you okay? You scared me for a minute there."

"Me? 'm fine," I mumble. "Better than fine. 'm fuckin' fantastic."

He chuckles softly. "Good. That was something else."

"You're tellin' me," I grin. "Can ah tell you somethin'?" I murmur, a little of my southern twang leaking through.

Edward smiles endearingly. "Sure, honey."

"That was the greatest sexual experience of mah life."

He laughs, louder this time. "I could tell," he murmurs, stroking my hair affectionately. "I haven't seen you anywhere close to that since the first time I touched you."

I smile a little at the memory of that first time. "I'd like to point out that both of those times were the results of my great ideas," I tease him.

"Yes, yes, they were good ideas. Now come on, mastermind. You're going back to bed."

"No…" I protest weakly. "We're leaving in a few days. And I was just asleep a little while ago. We should go explore and see…stuff."

He giggles. "Well you look exhausted, and we can't go exploring stuff if you can't stand. Don't worry; we'll have plenty of time. For now the only thing you need to be seeing the inside of your eyelids."

"I can stand!" I argue. Of course, I don't know this, but whatever.

I watch him raise an eyebrow at me, amused. "Really?"

I shrug. "Maybe. I can try. Just…hang on to me, just in case."

He kisses me gently. "Don't worry, I've got you." Edward carefully pulls me to my feet, but when he stops supporting my weight my knees buckle. He quickly scoops me up, sitting me on the counter to dry me off. "Oh yes, I see, Mr. 'I can stand'," he mumbles. I swat at him, but miss. Ignoring my weak protests, he carries me off to bed. I expect him to put me down, but instead he sits on the bed with me in his lap. We've done this same thing many times, but I've never felt this close to him before. He holds me tightly to him, and I lean my head against his chest.

"I love you, Ed," I whisper.

He smiles as I close my eyes, and I feel him kiss my forehead tenderly. "I love you too, Jazz," he murmurs. "Sweet dreams."

* * *

**So, what do you think? As always, please review! They make me happy :)**

**Also, I've written a one- or maybe two-shot. It's not connected to this story, but it's about these boys (as vampires). It's almost PWP, but it's fun! Well, it's like a tiny bit of plot and a lot of awesome slash. I'm not sure if I'm going to post it, so let me know if it's something you'd be interested in reading it. If enough people seem interested I'll post it!**

**Until next time,**

**TheSongSmith**


	43. Three Years Later

**Hey guys! So sorry this took so long. I've been crazy busy and had major writer's block. Oh well, more news at the end!**

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**EPOV  
**

After a long, stressful day at work, I want nothing more than to go home and snuggle up with Jasper. However, as I am packing up to go home, I get a call from him. "Edward," he says frantically, "Please tell me you haven't left work yet!"

I frown at the tone of his voice. "I was just about to. What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he assures me quickly. "It's just that Mel's ultrasound appointment was moved up to today, and I realized I forgot to tell you!"

My anxiety quickly turns to excitement. Mel is the surrogate carrying our future child. And today's appointment is when we find out if it's a boy or a girl. "That's alright. I'm in my office. Are you bringing her in now?"

"Yeah. We'll be there in fifteen minutes. We'll meet you in your office."

I wait impatiently until I hear the familiar knock on my door. Jasper walks in, grinning, and kisses me. Mel follows behind. "Hi Mel," I say cheerfully. "How are you feeling?"

"Like a planet," she teases lightly. "Are you ready to find out what you're having?"

I nod, and we all head up to the right floor. The ultrasound technician messes around with the machine for a few minutes before smiling. "Did anyone tell you you're having twins?" she asks.

Jasper and I freeze for a moment, looking at each other in shock. He finds his voice before I do. 'T-There's two in there?"

The woman nods. "Would you like to know the sex of the children?" We both nod, and she smiles. "Both girls. Fraternal, as far as I can tell. Congratulations."

She goes to print out the pictures for us, and I turn to Jasper. "We're having twin girls…" I murmur faintly.

He grins. "Yes. Are you gonna be okay?"

I nod quickly. "Yeah. It's just…I wasn't sure we'd even get one, and now we'll have two…That's crazy."

He hugs me tightly. "I love you, Edward." We spend ten minutes alternating between regular hugs and group hugs before heading home. As we sit on the couch, Jasper smiles at me. "We should call Alice," he says. "She has a lot of redecorating to do."

* * *

**Three Months Later**

I open the door to Mel, who's smiling. "Hey there!" She greets me cheerily.

I grin. "Hey Mel. Come on in. How are you feeling?"

She laughs. "Ready to explode. How about you? Getting nervous yet?"

"Maybe a little," I admit. "I've never done this whole parent thing before."

She smiles. "You'll be fine, I know you will. Besides, it's not like you're doing it alone."

Just then, Jasper comes downstairs. "Hey Mel!" he grins, hugging her gently. "What are we standing n the doorway for? Why don't we all sit down?"

Mel gasps and freezes for a moment. "I don't think that will be necessary…"

Jasper frowns. "What's wrong?"

Suddenly, she smiles. "I hope Alice is almost done with the nursery. I think we're gonna need it a bit sooner than planned…"

Jasper's eyes go wide. "How much sooner?" I ask.

She grins. "That depends. How fast can you drive me to the hospital?"

"…Now?" Jasper asks, incredulous.

She nods. "Now."

He grins. "Edward, can you…" He looks at me for a minute, then shakes his head. "Maybe I should drive…"

I nod. "Yeah," I murmur faintly. "Maybe that's a good idea…"

Mel and I get in the backseat as Jasper speeds to the hospital. Once there it's not long before we're in a room. Mel looks at me and laughs. "Hey Jazz, remember that class where they coached us on deep breathing? I'm pretty sure Edward could use some of that."

He looks over at me and chuckles. "You're white as a sheet, Edward. Are you gonna be okay?" I nod, though I'm not really sure of that myself. "Everything is gonna be fine," he assures me. "Breathe."

I nod, but it only seems like a minute before we're in a delivery room. There's doctors and nurses and lights everywhere, and I'm not sure, but I think it's all spinning. Jasper turns to me, grinning. "Ready to see our little girls?" he asks.

That's all I remember before everything went black.

* * *

Slowly, I become aware of a beeping. It's getting really annoying. "Can you shut that off?" I ask, irritated.

I hear a distant chuckle and open my eyes to see Jasper grinning. "Mornin' sunshine. How're ya feeling?' I groan in response, and he laughs softly. "That good, huh?"

"What happened?" I ask, confused.

He kisses me lightly. "You passed out in the delivery room."

I rub my head gingerly before I remember something. "The babies! What happened? Are they okay?" I say frantically.

He shushes me gently. "They're both fine. Two beautiful little girls. Ten fingers and ten toes on each of them. They're perfect."

I smile at his description. He's clearly taken with them. "Can I see them?" I ask anxiously.

He smiles. "Sure, hold on."

He pulls aside the curtain, revealing Mel, who grins at me. "Howdy, cowboy," She teases. "Your first rodeo, huh?"

I smile. "Hi, Mel. How are you feeling?"

"Better than you, I'd guess."

I chuckle softly as Jasper picks up one of the bundles in Mel's arms and hands it to me. "Edward, meet Lily Anna Whitlock-Cullen…" He picks up the other one. "And Elizabeth Rose Whitlock-Cullen."

I look down incredulously at the small bundle of blankets in my arms. Inside, a tiny baby girl snuggles closer to me. "Hi there," I murmur, putting a finger against her tiny fist and chuckling when she grips it tightly. "Hi Lily. It's Daddy. Welcome to the world." She makes a small noise and I kiss her fore head gently as Jasper hands me the other bundle. "Hi Lizzie. It's nice to meet you," I whisper.

Jasper sits down next to me, grinning. "You two are going to be the most loved babies ever," he murmurs softly. "Your daddies love you very much."

I smile down at them, leaning against him. "I love you, Jasper."

He grins. "I love you too." Just then, Lily opens her eyes, and I gasp as I realize they're the same color green as mine. "I think she looks like you," Jasper murmurs.

Lizzie opens her eyes too, and they're the same shade as Jasper's. "Well then, she looks like you."

He grins brighter than I've seen in a long time, and kisses her forehead. "I just can't believe it," he murmurs.

"What?" I ask curiously.

He sighs happily. "I never even thought I'd get you. And I sure as hell never thought I'd have a family."

I smile and kiss him. "Well you've got us all now. Forever."

* * *

**Well there you have it. So two points of news:**

**1. FF has been pulling a bunch of stories with mature themes, so in case this one disappears, you can find me at thewriterscoffeeshop dot com(slash)library, where you can search my username (it's the same). I'll also post all my other mature stories on there as well as here, just to be safe.  
**

**2. This story will have one more chapter in the storyline. But fear not! I'm going to do outtakes and extras. And I need you to suggest them. So write me a review or drop me a line and tell me what you want to see.  
**

**Until next time,  
**

**TheSongSmith  
**


	44. Epilogue

**Hey everyone! So sorry this took so long, but I wanted to make it really good. I had a bunch of ideas, then scrapped them, then wrote this at 5am. Yay! More info at the bottom.**

* * *

**JPOV**

I groan as the alarm goes off. Edward hits it angrily and snuggles up next to me again. I laugh. "Come on, love, it's time to get up. You've got to get to work, and the girls have to get to school." He moans, but sits up and rubs his eyes. I kiss him softly. "You get ready for work. I'll get the girls up." I walk across the hall to the girls' bedroom and open the door slowly. The girls are fast asleep, and I watch them for a moment, thinking about how lucky we've been.

Today is their seventh birthday.

I marvel over them, as I often do, for a minute more before going to the closet and laying their clothes on the ends of their beds. First I go to Lily. With her fair skin, bright copper hair and green eyes, she's the spitting image of Edward. I stroke her cheek gently. "Lily, it's time to wake up," I murmur.

She wakes slowly, blinking up at me before smiling the same crooked grin as Edward. "Morning Daddy," she says.

I smile. "Morning sweetheart. Happy birthday. It's time to get ready for school." She nods dutifully and walks to the bathroom as I go to Elizabeth.

"Wake up Lizzie," I whisper softly. "It's time for school." I brush her blonde hair back from her face as her bright blue eyes focus on me.

"Daddy!" She murmurs happily, hugging me.

"Morning Lizzie," I reply, hugging her back. "Happy birthday!" I watch Lily trudge back from the bathroom. "We have a birthday surprise for you girls," I tell them, "But you can't have it until you're ready for school! Lizzie, go brush your teeth. Lily, let's get you dressed."

Lizzie runs off excitedly as I help Lily out of her pajamas and into clothes. I brush out her hair, braiding it quickly as she chatters on about her friends at school. She sits, cross-legged, on the bed as I help Lizzie get ready too. When I'm done I take them both by the hand, leading them down the stairs, where I find Edward, in his work clothes, flipping chocolate chip pancakes. The girls rush to him, and he hugs them both tightly. "Happy birthday girls!" he says. "Sit down and I'll give you your birthday breakfast."

The girls sit at the table and Edward uses whipped cream to put faces on their pancakes before setting them on the table. The girls giggle at the faces as they eat their breakfast. I wrap my arms around Edward's waist as I watch them. "Nice touch," I murmur against his neck.

He grins. "Thanks. Think we should give them their presents now?" I nod and grab the gifts from under our bed as we sit across from them.

Their eyes light up as they see the boxes. "Presents?" Lily asks excitedly.

Edward chuckles. "Yes. You two are getting one of your presents now. The rest you can open at the party later." We hand them each a velvet jewelry box. Their excitement gives way to squeals of joy as they open the boxes to see the white gold heart-shaped lockets, embossed with butterflies. On the back of each is the initials of the girl it belongs to. They hug us and thank us profusely as we fasten them around each of their necks.

"Come on girls, you don't want to be late for school," I say after a while. They nod and get their backpacks. Edward kisses them both goodbye. "I'll put them on the bus," I tell him. "Do you need to go?"

He shakes his head. "I can hang around for a little while," he says. "I'll see you in a few."

I herd the girls out the door and walk them down the long driveway to the bus stop. As the big yellow bus rounds the corner, I hug them both. "Have fun at school! I'll see you later!" They wave as they get on the school bus. I watch it pull away before walking back towards the house.

I smile as I pass under the sign we hung just a few years ago. It reads: "Whitlock-Cullen Equestrian Rehabilitation Center". After I finished my degree, I worked with a vet for a while, but Edward knew I wasn't really happy. After a few years of gaining experience, we were finally able to turn a piece of the property into a rehabilitation center for injured or abused horses. I had finally found what I really wanted to do, and it made me happier than anything besides our family. Shoshana remains our shining example of what patience and good training can do, and my own personal favorite. She even helps me with the other horses, and is now docile enough to let the girls ride. I smile to myself as I walk through the front door.

"Hey," Edward greets me, fixing his tie. He pulls me against him.

I smile. "Don't you have lives to be saving?" I tease.

He grins and kisses me. "They can wait."

I kiss him back quickly before reluctantly pulling away. "Remember, the girls' party starts at six-thirty."

He nods. "I'll be home by five-thirty. And I'll remember to pick up the food on my way home."

I kiss him once more. "Good. I'll see you later."

He leaves for work, and I run upstairs to put my faded old jeans on before heading out to the barn. There's a new horse there named Collin who was abused by his previous owners. His new owners sent him here when they found that he was too skittish to let them near him. After doing the rest of the chores, I start working with him. As I approach his stall, he presses as far back as he can. "Good morning, Collin," I say calmly. He watches me warily. I take a long pole with a grip at the end and attach a carrot to it before unlocking his stall door and slowly holding it out to him. He regards it carefully, but after a while he takes a hesitant bite. "Good boy," I praise softly, moving it a couple of inches towards me. He steps forward a bit and bites it again. I keep on with this until he's only a few feet away from me, at which point I put down the pole and hold a carrot in my hand. I hold it as far away from my body as I can and watch as he takes a bite. Slowly, I bring my hand in and watch him step closer to me. When he eats the last bit out of my palm, I keep my hand held out to him. He sniffs it carefully, then huffs softly. Slowly, I reach out and stroke his forehead gently. When he doesn't move, I grin. "Good boy, Collin. I'm not gonna hurt you," I tell him softly as I gently pet him. I keep it up for a while until he relaxes, and then give him a sugar cube and lead him back into his stall, moving on to the next horse.

After a long day in the barn, I have just enough time to shower and change before I meet the girls at the bus stop. They're both sporting paper birthday crowns, and are clearly hopped up on sugar. They chatter on about the party they had in class today before sitting down and doing their homework. They watch TV for an hour as Alice starts decorating the backyard before I take them upstairs to change into their party dresses. Once dressed, with plastic tiaras adorning their heads and their new lockets gleaming proudly, they run off to explore the backyard. I have to admit, it's hard not to be impressed with the things that girl can do.

Edward arrives on time with food in tow, and soon both of our families show up. It isn't long before our backyard is filled with first graders and their parents, milling about and socializing. "Were we this hyper as six and seven year olds?" Edward asks me.

"Yes," our moms pipe up from the patio.

"This is nothing," I tease him. "Wait until the cake comes out and they get some sugar in them." We watch the kids play as the parents, who have been surprisingly tolerant of us, chat.

After a while, one of the moms comes up to us. "Hi," she says softly, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything. I'm Charlotte."

"Of course not," Edward replies. "I'm Edward, and this is my husband Jasper."

She smiles. "I just wanted to tell you that your girls are some of the nicest kids I've ever met. My son, Alex, is autistic, and some of the boys in his class bully him. Your girls stood up for him the other day, and I don't think I've ever seen him so happy. It's not often that the other kids are nice to him, so it meant a lot that your girls did that."

Edward smiles and looks at me. "Thank you," I reply. "Being an unorthodox family, we try to raise the girls to be respectful of everyone, no matter how different. It's nice to know that it's getting through to them."

She nods sympathetically. "I'm sure it's not always easy. I know from experience how mean people can be to others who are different. But I have to say that you two are some of the best parents I've ever seen."

Edward smiles. "No, it's not easy," he admits, "But it's really great to find support from others. It's not a common thing in towns as small as this one, so thank you."

She smiles back. "It was my pleasure. I've got to go, but I hope to see you again soon."

She turns and leaves, and I look at Edward. "I'm sensing a pattern here."

He looks at me, puzzled. "What do you mean?"

I grin. "This whole family can't help themselves from helping those in need."

He laughs. "I guess you're right. I liked her. She didn't look at us the way some of them do."

I nod. "Me too. Look at us making friends."

After cake is eaten, presents are opened, and the final guests and family members leave, we each pick up a girl and head upstairs. We help them get washed up. As we help them into pajamas, Edward asks about the boy. "Is Alex a boy in your class?" Lily nods. "We talked to his mom, and she said you stood up for him the other day."

"The other kids are mean to him," Lizzie pipes up. "They don't like him, but he's nice."

"He wanted to play with some of the other boys," Lily explains, "but they wouldn't let him. They were making fun of him."

I nod. "So what did you do?"

"We told the boys to stop being mean and invited him to play with us."

"Does the teacher know that the kids are mean to him?" Edward asks.

Lily nods. "We tell her, but all she does is tell the boys to be nice and they go right back to doing it."

Edward shares a look with me, and I know he's thinking about his own childhood. "Well," I say, "You made him very happy. Don't listen to the other kids. If he's nice to you, then you should be nice too."

"And we're very proud of you for doing the right thing," Edward adds. By the time he finishes reading a bedtime story, the girls are out cold. We tuck them in and kiss them both before collapsing into bed ourselves. "Birthday parties are exhausting!" Edward groans as we curl up with each other.

"You can say that again," I murmur.

"Well, we finally get some quiet time now," he says.

He begins planting soft kisses down my neck, and I groan softly as I feel it. "Edward," I attempt to admonish, "Should we really be doing this now?"

"Well the girls are asleep; we've both had long stressful days…" He puts his serious doctor face on. "It's my expert opinion that this would be a healthy course of action to pursue."

"Alright then," I murmur against his chest. "Doctor's orders. But we have to be quiet."

He grins and attacks my neck with his lips, kissing and sucking on the sensitive skin there. He pulls my shirt off hastily as I slowly palm him through his sweatpants. He moans, and I press my hands to his mouth. "Shh," I remind him. "Don't make me gag you."

"Is that a threat or a promise?" he teases. "Because either way I kind of like it." I slip my hand into his pants and stroke him slowly as he unceremoniously yanks down my jeans and begins stroking me. I have to bite my lip to keep from crying out as I feel one of his long fingers slide into my ass. I speed up my ministrations as he quickly thrusts his finger in an out of me, stroking my cock with the same intensity. I can't help but moan, and I put a hand over my mouth to muffle the sound. It isn't long before I'm at my tipping point, and as he starts whispering things in my ear I lose it, spraying his fingers with my cum, which he eagerly licks off.

After taking a minute to catch my breath, I turn quickly and lick slowly up his shaft, making him whimper quietly. I suck hard on the head and he has to bite down on his fist. I speed up, and it isn't long before I can feel his balls tighten. I quickly plunge my mouth down on his length, swallowing around him. His hips buck up as he cums down my throat, burying his head in a pillow in order to muffle the sound of his moans.

It isn't long before there's a knock on our door and a small voice calls, "Daddy!" We quickly jump up and dress before opening the door.

"Lizzie? What's wrong, honey?" I ask.

"There are monsters in my room," she says. "Can I sleep with you? Please Daddy?"

I sigh and pick her up. "I don't think the monsters are real, sweetie, but if it makes you feel better you can stay here tonight."

She nods eagerly and crawls into bed between Edward and I. Her head barely touches the pillow before she's asleep. Edward turns to the side and locks hands with me. "Love you Jazz," he murmurs. "Goodnight."

"Love you too," I whisper. I lean in and kiss him gently before setting down on my side. He reaches over and turns the light off, and I feel him squeeze my hand lightly before I fall asleep.

* * *

***sniffs* I know, I hated ending it too. But not to worry! I will be doing outtakes and extras, and I need the ideas to come from you! Review or inbox me your suggestions and I'll make it happen. Pasttakes, futuretakes, lemons, whatever you want. I'll do it.**

**I'd also like to say that you guys have been there for me for so long, and it's been an honor to get to write this and have a little following like you. You guys are always supportive and I love you all so very much. Thank you for sticking by me for these forty four chapters and all the twists and turns that went with them. And just because this story is ending doesn't mean I'll disappear, so make sure you stick around to see what I have up my sleeve next.**

**By the way, the picture of the lockets can be found here:**

**momento lockets (dotcom) / DisplayImages . aspx? ImageID=159130&type=detail (without spaces)  
**

**I look forward to seeing what you come up with for me to write.**

**All my love,**

**TheSongSmith**


	45. Outtake 1: Welcome Home

**You asked for it, and you got it! This is the first of hopefully many outtakes. It takes place before the epilogue. Read on!**

* * *

**EPOV**

It's finally here; the day we get to take the girls home. As we put them in their new car seats, we check and double check that they're fastened properly before pulling out of the parking lot. Jasper, grinning as he has been for days, reaches over and takes my hand. "Do you remember the first time we drove home from this place?"

I smile. "Of course. That was the day I took you home with me. You were nervous, and we rode the whole way home holding hands."

He nods slowly, lost in the memory. "That was the best day of my life," he murmurs, "Up until then. I finally had a home."

"And now?" I ask.

He kisses my hand, resting it against his cheek. "Now I have a lot of best days. And it's all because of you." As we pull onto the main road, Jasper laughs. "Edward, you're going ten miles an hour. The speed limit is forty."

I glance in the rearview mirror at the girls, fast asleep. "Well, I'm carrying precious cargo." It takes almost half an hour more to get home, but we arrive in one piece.

With the girls still asleep, we each pick one up and carefully enter the house. Jasper glances over at me. "Nervous?" he asks.

I nod. "I've never done this before."

He puts an arm around my waist, and I feel myself calming a little. "Well, we'll do it together. Plus, our moms will be here this afternoon to help out."

**JPOV**

We sit on the couch, side by side, cradling the girls. They stay asleep until our moms arrive. As if she's heard them, Lily wakes up and starts crying. Edward freezes, unsure of what to do. Esme picks her up and carries her to the kitchen. I carry a still-sleeping Lizzie over to watch as she expertly prepares a bottle. I watch in amazement as Lily quiets and happily drinks from it. "How did you know that's what she wanted?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Just seemed like a good first option. Eventually you'll learn what they need based on the cry. But basically they cry for a few reasons: They're hungry, tired, need to be burped, want to be held, or need their diapers changed." She laughs at my expression of awe. "I've had a few of my own," she explains. "I've learned a lot."

As if on cue, Lizzie wakes up and starts crying. "What do I do?" I ask.

Esme smiles. "Think about the basic needs. Check if she needs a diaper change."

I catch a whiff of something and nod. "Yeah, that's it. Would you, um…mind going with me?"

She nods. "No problem." She hands Lily off to my mom, who coaches Edward in bottle feeding, and follows me upstairs to the nursery.

I lay Lizzie down on the changing table and look to Esme, who is gathering supplies. "Always get your stuff together first," she advises. "Babies are wiggly, and if you turn away for a second to get something, they'll wiggle into some crazy situations. You should have seen Emmett. He was fast." I laugh and follow her lead as she instructs me. "There you go," she says when I've finished and Lizzie has quieted down. "Congratulations, you've changed your first diaper."

I pick her up again and rejoin Edward downstairs, where he's burping Lily. Our moms give us a few more lessons and help us put the girls to sleep before heading home for the night. "We're only a phone call away," Esme reminds us. "If you have a problem, let us know."

* * *

Finally, after the long day, we settle into bed.

We are woken once again by the sound of crying. "Your turn," Edward mumbles into his pillow.

"Bullshit," I murmur back. "It's been my turn for the past four turns. It's definitely your turn."

He groans. "But you're so much better with them. I don't know what I'm doing with babies!"

"Hmm," I reply sleepily, "Maybe we should have discussed that before we had babies." He rolls his eyes at me, and I smile. "It's alright, Edward. Go pick her up and I'll help."

I watch as he carefully lifts her out of the crib and brings her over to me. "She doesn't need a diaper change," he says proudly.

"Excellent observation, love. Maybe she's hungry." He runs downstairs and brings back a bottle. I carefully place her in his arms and watch as he feeds her. "See," I murmur, "You're good at this too."

He smiles and continues. When she's done, he rocks her gently until she falls asleep. Then he puts her back in her crib and snuggles up with me again. "Hey Jasper?" he whispers.

"Hmm?"

He kisses me softly. "Thanks." I curl into him, and together we fall asleep again.

* * *

**Well, there you have it! I'll be doing as many as I get ideas for, so please drop me a line and let me know what you want me to write about!  
**

**TheSongSmith  
**


	46. Outtake 2-For Rita

**Hey everyone! I know this story has been done for a while now, but this outtake is especially for CentauRita, who went through all 45 chapters of this and reviewed every single one. Really. That's dedication, and she made me smile, so I wrote her her very own chapter. Enjoy!**

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**EPOV**

I wake up earlier than usual for a Saturday, probably due to the fact that the space beside me on the bed is cold. I open my eyes, searching for my husband of two years, not finding him in the room. I sit up and stretch before getting up to see where he's gone off to. I walk downstairs into the kitchen, looking out the window and seeing him perched on the porch swing, sans shirt in the cool breeze of spring, staring out at the horizon. I pour us each a cup of coffee before going to join him. "Morning," he murmurs, putting an arm around me as I snuggle up beside him.

"Morning," I reply, kissing him softly before resting my head against his shoulder. "You're up early," I remark. "How long have you been awake?"

He nods, shrugging. "Not that long. Had a dream, and couldn't sleep after."

I frown. "A nightmare? Why didn't you wake me up?"

He smiles a little. "No, not a nightmare. It wasn't bad at all."

"Then why couldn't you sleep?" He shrugs silently, his fingers drawing light patterns on my arm as he stares at nothing with a look I've come to know. "You've got your thinking face on," I tell him. "What's that about?"

He sighs softly. "It was just a weird dream, that's all. It was about us."

"Was there something wrong in your dream?" I probe gently, trying to figure out what's gotten into him.

He shakes his head. "No, nothing wrong. Just…different."

I kiss his cheek lightly, growing more concerned. "Come on, you know you can tell me, whatever it is. What's wrong?"

He hesitates. "Well, it was…more than just us. People who…don't exist yet."

"Are you saying we had kids in your dream?" I ask. He nods slowly. "What's wrong with that?"

He sighs. "Nothing. Nothing's wrong with it. I guess I've just been thinking about it a lot lately. I know it's something we talked about once. I know it's something you want."

"And is it still something that you want?" I ask. "We don't have to have them now, or ever, if you don't want to."

Jasper thinks for a moment. "I do still want to have kids with you," he says quietly. "It's just…There's so much involved. So much to think about. So much that could happen. And once we start, there's no going back. Up until relatively recently, I couldn't even take care of myself. How am I going to take care of someone else? And what if I screw up? Babies are so….small, and helpless. What if I hurt them? And…" he pauses, having to take a breath. "I guess it's just a little scary."

I wrap my arms tighter around his waist. "We don't have to do anything until you're ready to," I tell him gently. "But I understand why it scares you. I think it's a little scary for anyone. But you're not who you used to be. You've grown so much. And you won't have to do it all alone. You're right; it is a lot of work, and a lot of risk. But we'd be in it together, like always. We'd make it work."

He looks at me hesitantly. "You…really think I'd be good at it?"

I smile at him. "I think, whenever you decide you're ready, you'll be an excellent father."

He thinks for a long time. "I think…" he says finally, "I think I'd be ready…If you were."

"Baby, are you sure? I don't want you to say you're ready because you think it's what I want."

He smiles. "I'm not. I really think I'm ready. As long as I have you, I can do anything."

I grin, softly pressing my lips to his. "And you'll always have me, so you don't have to worry. And Jasper?"

"Hmm?"

"Happy anniversary."

He chuckles softly. "Happy anniversary, love. What are we doing today?" he asks before yawning.

He knows I have secret plans I haven't told him about, and I know he has some of his own, but right now all I want to do is be with him. "First? Getting you back to bed." He laughs, allowing me to pull him up from the swing and back upstairs. I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him down to the bed with me. 

* * *

**JPOV**

Why is adopting a child so hard? Everybody's always complaining that we have so many kids in orphanages that we don't know what to do with, but adopting one of them is so complicated and takes so long, not to mention that half of the agencies think that Edward and I are an abomination, so that rules them out. I sigh, resting my head on the desk, and it's all I can do to keep from banging against it. Edward comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my neck. "I take it your research is not going well."

I nod. "It's not. We'll be ancient by the time we even start! And that's after we can find an agency who doesn't hate us."

He chuckles, kissing the back of my neck softly. "Come on, take a break." I allow him to pull me over to the couch, snuggling up with him. "So what have you found so far?" he asks.

"That I think I know why we have so many kids waiting to be adopted. It's because the agencies won't let anyone adopt them unless you pay thousands of dollars and wait twenty years and are a perfect heterosexual family," I mumble against his neck.

He laughs softly. "I guess that kind of rules us out, huh?" I nod, feeling myself start to relax the way only Edward can make happen. "You know," he says, I've been doing some research of my own."

I look up at him. "Really? Did you find anything?"

He nods slowly. "Well, I know we said it doesn't really matter if our child is biologically ours, but it still could be, right? We could find a surrogate. And it might be…easier for them?"

"Easier?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Well, I was adopted, and don't get me wrong, I love my new family, but it was kind of hard growing up knowing I had another family somewhere, even if they weren't good people. Like when you go to the doctor's office and they ask if something runs in your family, and you don't know. Or when you go through biology and do those squares where you have to put if your parents have blue or brown eyes, and you can't remember and you can't ask anyone. It wasn't always easy. Whatever child we have will be different enough with us as parents. And if adoption is going to be so much hassle, why not make it ours?"

I nod slowly, considering this. "I guess it would be simpler if it was ours." I hesitate, not wanting to ask the question that's bothering me. "Edward, do you think it'll be…too hard on it?"

He frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Well, like you said, having two dads will make it different, no matter how we have one. Do you think it'll be bad for them because of us?"

He shakes his head, hugging me a little tighter. "No, I don't think so. I mean, things are different now than they were when we were kids. People are more open now. And yeah, they might still feel a little different. But every kid feels a little different sometimes. That's just childhood."

I nod. "I guess you're right. It's just…a lot to think about."

"It is, but I think we'll get through it. So what do you think? Should we check out surrogacy?"

I smile at him. "Yeah, I think we should." 

* * *

**EPOV**

Jasper and I have been sitting on this couch in the office for hours now, screening women who might carry our future child. We're supposed to be writing notes, but as the time drags on, Jasper's focus starts to wane with his patience, and he's moved from drawing frowny faces next to the names of the women who made a face when they saw us to full out doodling on his page. I can hardly blame him; none of the women we've seen so far have been anything too inspiring. Before we call for the next one, I reach over and poke him, chuckling when he jumps. "How are those notes coming?" I tease gently.

He laughs. "About as well as these interviews. I'm pretty sure everyone we've seen just wants a paycheck. How many more do we have?"

"Just a few more, I promise. Then we can go home and…do other things."

He glares at me playfully. "That's not helping me focus, you know. Except now I'm thinking about completely inappropriate things."

I chuckle. "Patience, love. Here, you can even pick which one we see next." He looks over the three names not crossed off on our list before pointing to one. "Melody Adams?" I call. Slowly, the door opens to reveal a young woman who smiles when she sees us. "It's nice to meet you Ms. Adams," I say.

"Please, call me Mel. Everybody does," she replies brightly as she takes a seat. "It's nice to meet you too."

Jasper looks up at her cheerful tone, and I can tell he's interested. "We have a couple of questions for you," I say. She nods, waiting. "Firstly, why are you interested in being a surrogate?"

She smiles. "I can have kids, but I know how hard it is for couples who can't. My sister couldn't, and she had the hardest time. This is something I can do to help other people who can't."

"Do you have a problem with helping a gay couple?"

She shakes her head. "Nope. Have they really been giving you people who do?"

Jasper snorts, turning his paper around to show her all the frowny faces. "Uh-huh."

She laughs. "Well I'm terribly sorry about that. No, I have no problem with it."

I smile. "Good to hear." She passes all the usual questions with flying colors. "Well," I say finally, "Do you have any questions for us?"

She thinks for a moment. "Why do you want to have a child?"

Jasper looks at me before answering. "We love each other very much. We've had to go through a lot to get here, and now we just want to share our love with someone else."

Mel smiles. "I think that's the best reason I've ever heard."

I look down at the list, noticing the one final name we haven't called yet. When I point it out to Jasper, he groans. "Do we have to?" he asks. "I've already decided."

Mel and I both laugh. "I guess we don't have to then," I reply, which makes him smile.

"Good, because clearly I picked the best one on the list. So let's go home and do…other things."

I smile. "Alright then. Mel? It looks like we'll be in touch." 

* * *

**JPOV**

Once all the final paperwork goes through, Edward and I sit in another office, to do probably the weirdest thing either of us has ever done. A nurse beckons us into a room in the back to explain things. "Have you decided which of you is going to father the child?" she asks.

I look at Edward. "We thought we'd both try and just…see what happens," he explains.

She nods. "Alright then. You'll be in rooms five and six. There's a collection cup on the counter. When you're done ring the buzzer and someone will come get you. Right this way." She ushers us into our rooms, closing the door behind us. I look around the room, going to sit down in the chair before thinking of all the other men who've used this room and deciding against it. There's the cup thing on the counter, and…what is that? Are those dirty magazines? Is it really someone's job to put those out? I wonder if whoever does it is just really sick of sex by the end of the day. Wait, why am I thinking about this? Focus Jasper! Maybe I could if this wasn't so similar to that scene from the Matrix, the one with the little robot worm thing. Ugh, okay, this is weird. I can't do this.

Just as I'm starting to freak out, there's a soft knock on the door. "Jasper, open up, it's me." I open the door to find Edward standing there. He lets himself in before locking the door again. "I thought you might be freaking out," he says, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I kind of was, actually," I admit. "This is so weird! I don't know if I can do this." But even as I say it, I can feel myself relaxing against him. He kisses my neck softly. "Edward, what are you doing?" I manage.

"Helping," he says, as if it should be obvious.

"I don't think this was the way they…intended for this to go…"

He chuckles. "I'm improving on their design. Relax."

I pull him closer. "Not like I can help it…with you and your voodoo magic."

He raises an eyebrow at me. "Voodoo magic?"

I grin. "Yes."

He shrugs, kissing me softly. "I can live with that." Slowly, he trails kisses around my neck, his fingers finding the button on my jeans.

"Ed…ward," I manage, "We're going to get in so much trouble for this…"

He chuckles softly. "No one has to know, Jazz."

He manages to push my jeans and boxers to the floor in one swift motion, moving behind me. I gasp softly as I feel his teeth at my neck, his long fingers wrapping around my length. I can't help the low moan the escapes me as he give one long, slow stroke, leaning back against him for support. It isn't very long before he has me whimpering softly, teetering on the edge. "Jasper, love?" he laughs. "You might want to get that cup." But I don't have the focus to get it, so he reaches around with his free hand, just barely positioning it in time. When I'm done he sets it down again, holding me against him. "More fun that way, don't you think?" he teases.

I turn towards him, laughing. "Much more. But you know what's even better?" He shrugs and I grin. "Getting to return the favor."

A while later, with both cups filled, we call for someone to bring us back. The nurse who appears raises an eyebrow at us, her eyes traveling over the side of my neck, where I'm sure the imprint of Edward's teeth is still visible. She says nothing about it though, and soon we're back in the car, heading home. Edward looks over at me. "Do you think she knew?"

I laugh. "She knew." 

* * *

**EPOV**

Together, we sit with Mel in a white room, awaiting the prognosis. They've already done every test known to man, and they're taking forever to tell us what's going on. Though he looks calm and collected, Jasper's knee bounces up and down nervously. When the brush of white coat slips through the door, he freezes. There is silence for a moment while the doctor stares down at her chart. "Well?" Jasper asks hesitantly.

The doctor takes a breath. "Well, according to all of our tests…" She suddenly breaks out into a grin. "Congratulations. You're pregnant."

Mel claps, turning and hugging us both. Jasper seems to melt into his chair, tired of waiting. "Do you feel better now?" I ask him.

He laughs. "Not really. Now we have nine more months of waiting to deal with."

I nudge him lightly. "Try to keep it together until then, okay?"

"No guarantees," he teases. 

* * *

**Well there you have it folks. CentauRita, I hope I did you proud. And if anyone else has an idea they wanna see, feel free to let me know!**

**Love,**

**TheSongSmith**


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